my best friend is dating somebody she is not suppose to... what should i do to break them up???

Question

you see i have a best friend and she is goin out with my other best friend's big brother who is 17 years apart from her and she is bellow 18!
they keep texting and talking about very "serious" things something that i really don't want to mention.... they are both getting really perverted talking about alot of disgusting things and what they might do one day.... *hint hint*
and me and my best friend really want to break them up because it is getting out of hand...
i need some very good advice... and if it is not to much to ask... if you can tell me a plan to break them up!
As much as i luv her... what she's doing is wrong and it can hurt her, my other best friend,and me...
please help me!

Answer 1

how is this any of your business?

Answer 2

jj,

Have you actually spoken to this girl and let her know your opinion? If you haven't, you might want to consider doing so. Now that doesn't mean that she's going to take any advice. From what you describe, she's already too involved and is thinking with her heart instead of thinking with both heart and mind. So you may as well speak to the wall.

I know YOUR heart is in the right place, but the only answer here is to do nothing more. I'll tell you why.

I can almost guarantee that she will not listen to you.

You run the risk of pushing a good friend away when what she really needs from you is support and understanding. If you try to take steps to break these two people up, the only thing that can happen is that it will backfire on you. I know you care but this is her decision to make and she will only cling to this relationship all the more if people start trying to break it up. We always think we know what's best for us and once we've decided on what it is, the last thing we need is someone trying to control our decisions.

If this relationship is really so wrong, your friend will find out soon enough. It is her lesson to learn. I know you don't want her to be hurt, but if she does she will learn a valuable lesson. Sometimes it's the only way people truly learn. While it would be hard to see your friend in pain, the good thing is she probably won't soon forget what she's learned.

By no means should you try to break them up. Your job as a good friend is to be there to catch her if and when she falls. I'm sure this is not the answer you're looking for, but to do anything else can end your friendship.

Oops, hit the submit button before I finished!!! That first part is only considering what I know of human nature.

I am not condoning the fact that someone over the age of 18 is having a relationship with someone who is much younger. You are right...it is wrong...both legally and morally. Unfortunately, that's never stopped anyone once they've got their heart set on a relationship. Still, I caution you to tread very carefully here.

Maybe it would be best if you were to find out more about this guy from your friend, express a real interest and encourage her to talk about him. If at any point you think she may be in danger (physically or mentally, or being enouraged to use drugs/alcohol), then forget all my previous advice and tell your parents or a favorite teacher or guidance counselor...in other words, a responsible adult...and let them take it from there.

If it should come to that, be prepared to lose this friend...hopefully only for a short time. I know that will be very hard, but sometimes being a friend means being willing to lose a friend in order to save them.

You're a good person to care so much, jj. I hope your friend realizes it. Could be this attraction will wear off after a bit and you won't have to take any further action.

Hope this helps

A

Answer 3

First of all realize that this situation is out of your control and that you are not there to be a parent. You may want to get someone else who is older and an adult who has legal supervision over this person. They would have much more authority in this person's life than you have. You are being a friend to be concerned but do not overstep your boundaries here. You may want to let your friend know how you feel but please do it with love and concern and let them know why you are concerned. If you get another adult involved then see what happens from there. It seems urgent to you but do not be hasty and trust that a higher power is always at work so you are not in control. I wish you luck but telling them both the truth may help and exposing the truth to the light always helps! Good Luck! Make a plan of action and only involve people who can really help and maybe even have a strong influence on the guy who is in the picture. If her safety is an issue let as many adults know as soon as possible. Try the school, and trustworthy adults in his or her or even your own home. I promise you if people who care about her are involved the relationship will not go that far!

Answer 4

What you need to do is tell the man, he is a man and not a boy that you will blow the whistle unless he bows out of this and starts acting his age. There is enough proof on the computer that what his intentions are are wrong and against the law. Also, tell him that if he tells her you wo=ill do it just because. He is the grown up and needs to be made to stop. She is flattered and thinks he's something and he's not. He needs his actions stopped before something bad happens to your friend and he gets in real trouble, not just a threat. Then follow through.I would sacrafice the friendship to save her from herself it that is what it takes. That is the only way that I can see. Besides making a call to the local police and ask them to scare him. He might stop then and you would be out of it. Make sure they know you don't want to be known as the snitch, but just want to keep something from happening. Good luck. You are right to be concerned.

Answer 5

If your best friend is under 18 (which is considered legal age in some states) and your other best friend's brother is 17 years older than her, that means he's 35 years old. He's way too far away from her in age. If they ever engage in sex, he can be put in jail for statutory rape. Do they know this? He should certainly know it at his age.
Maybe your other best friend should talk to her brother about this potentially dangerous situation.

Answer 6

Your saying he is 17 years older than her? If thats the case I would send him a message that you are turning over his sexually explicit text messages to the police. What he is doing is labeled being a pedophile. Turn him in to the police. Let him know you are turning him in and he will run. Or ask the police yourself what to do. I fthey do nothing then scare the crap out of him by saying youre turning him in as a pedophile.

Answer 7

Well- ages don't really matter. If they really do love each other, then you shouldn't break them up.

But if it can hurt her, it's really her fault. I don't want to sound unsympathetic, but most of the times, you can't break romances. You'll just cause trouble between you and your friend.

So the best thing to do is to wait- wait for the good thing, or the bad thing to happen. If it's bad, she'll realize it was her fault. If it's good, let them be as happy as they want.

Answer 8

I THINK YOU GUYS NEED TO TALK TO THE BIG BROTHER FIRST, BECAUSE IF HE IS 17 YEARS OLDER THAN HER THEN HE SHOULD KNOW THATS STATUTORY RAPE. THEN IF THAT DOESN'T WORK, THREATEN TO TELL HER PARENTS AND SEE HOW THAT WORKS OUT. BUT IF HE IS JUST 17YRS. OLD AND SHE ABOUT 15 OR 16 THEN THAT'S FINE. LET THEM BE. NOW IF HE IS LIKE 26 OR SOMETHING AND SHE IS 15 OR 16 THEN YOU ALL NEED TO TALK.

Answer 9

If she is under the age of 18 and there is a seventeen year difference in their ages, you should inform the police immediately!

Answer 10

I would threaten to have the cops called on the guy actually. That kinda crap really sickens me. Your best friend should have real long chat with her brother as well. Eew...

Answer 11

so they r 17 years apart?!?!? OK first of all you need to Get her interested in another guy close ot her age and get her to believe her dude is cheating on her, get them fighting, tell her that if they don't break up then you will never talk to her again.