2006-11-25 10:58:20 · 13 answers · asked by koifox_104 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
haha... it's tweens JOB to hate you! get use to it. they think they know everything and they think you were never a tween yourself :) i just remind my kids that rules mean love. if i didn't love them i wouldn't care what they were doing, or watching. i remind them that i am NOT their friend, i'm their parent and that i have a very difficult job (raising them!)
2006-11-25 11:02:01 · answer #1 · answered by JayneDoe 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It never made a difference whether my daughter "hated" me or not. It was my home and I made the rules. There wasn't much I deemed inappropriate for her however since most of the things on television she didn't see anyway because television watching itself was a privelige in our home and not a right. She wasn't allowed a television, telephone, stereo or computer in her room while growing up. She couldn't have hated me all that much since at 21 years old she is still living with mom, although paying the rent and making her own decisiosns about her life now.
2006-11-25 14:38:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not a popularity contest. If you feel something is not appropriate for them, then it isn't. If they get angry with you, oh well! But, don't protect them so much that they don't find out what the real world is about or they never get to do anything or go anywhere. My nephew was not allowed to do anything, so he got sneaky and lied, A LOT. My daughter would get very angry with me sometimes about things I would not let her do, but as she grew older, I did relax the rules and let her do more and more things, age appropriate things. I explained that I was trusting her to do the right thing and act appropriately. I now have a very stable, grounded, 22 year old who makes very good decisions. You have to find a middle ground. It is not easy. If the child messes up, make the punishment fit the infraction. But they also have to know what will happen if they break the rules you set. Then you have to follow through with your punishment, no matter how much they say they hate you or how much you feel bad about it.
2006-11-25 12:29:39 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They will hate you. "Hating" you is a tool. They don't really hate you of course but they will give disapproving looks and even withold affection from you to punish you (as you would a 3 years old) until you are tormented within and give in to thier demands to watch filth. If you keep in mind that they don't REALLY hate you and that it is a tactic to manipulate you. Protecting them means more than thier approval and validation of you. They eventually will thank you and sing your praises for not giving in but right now you have to stick to your guns and suffer through thier "hate" of you. It might work to show them graphic pictures of the results of STD's, burned out video chicks and what drugs make people do and explain to them that all of these things are described in thier music whether the child thinks they will be influenced or not, why keep listening to it if the subject matter does not interest you. If they will never do it in a million years. its like promising never to have sex with thier tweenie boyfriend or girlfriend but they want to spend time alone without parent supervision. Common sense alert! What could they possibly want to do without parent supervision? Obviously something you wouldn't approve of which is not in thier best interest. Just suffer the stares, tantrums and begging. Continue to say no unless you are 5 feet away monitoring what they are doing. Hope this helps.
2006-11-25 11:05:50 · answer #4 · answered by Magnus01 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
At one point or another your teens are going to at least say they hate you. They are going to want to do things that you dont approve of but it is your job to be their mother, not their friend. You know best, and if they goit a problem, tell them like it is, this is my house you live by my rules; until you are 18 you are property of me, and I will not be held responsible for the stupid things you do. Dont let them do things just to avoid a fight. My mom did this with my sister and she ended up pregnant at 16, gave the baby up for adoption (thank God) dropped out of HS, and is a stripper and groupie for some no name band. The kids are going to be mad that they cant do things you deem inappropriate but it is part of life, part of parenting. Good luck, dont give in!!!!
2006-11-25 14:54:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't have kids yet, but I can remember those days. I hated my dad for being SO protective of me. But you know what? Even if you don't allow them certain things....they will find a way to do some things....or else they'll be exposed to it somewhere else. But as far as you allowing them......KEEP YOUR FOOT DOWN! You're the parent. So many kids are running their parents these days......stay one of the tough ones. You're avatar cop woman looks like she doesn't take no stuff from ANYBODY, and that includes the kids. Keep at it.....it'll pay off, and their "hate" will subside as they grow older!
2006-11-25 11:13:11 · answer #6 · answered by imaniche 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's your job to love them, it's not their job to love you. If they hate you, they'll get over it. Would you rather they hate you because you refused to let them go to the wrong party, or because they wound up pregnant at seventeen?
They already have friends. They need you to be a parent, not a friend. In ten years' time, when your firm parenting has ensured that they stayed safe and on track during their teenage years, there will be no hate left, I assure you. Just respect and gratitude.
2006-11-26 10:45:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. Parenting is the very hardest thing you will ever face, and, like it or not, your kids will sometimes hate you. But, you have to be firm, and stand by your beliefs, and, when they grow up, they will realize you where right, and love you all the more, and even thank you for it.
Long Live Jambi
2006-11-25 11:01:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not one bit concerned if they hate me. If I deem it inappropriate, it ain't happening on my watch. Being a parent is the hardest job you will ever have, don't let your child dictate what is right or wrong...
2006-11-25 11:01:20 · answer #9 · answered by Ricardo C 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
talk to them and let them know the reason why you're giving them rules it's hard but your the boss. and besides they won't hate you specially when you tell them how much you love them. and yes they could still be your friends but let them know your the parent and should be respected as one. and every action has a consequence. good luck and keep up the good work...
2006-11-25 11:09:28 · answer #10 · answered by Itza 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋