is this normal?

Question

i cant stop stalking this guy i like,i meet him last summer through a friend, i was intreasted right away and asked him out ,but he told me i wasnt his type, but for some reason i couldn't stop thinking about him, i drive by is house and wait hours for him to come out, on my days off work i drive by his job and watch him out his office window, he is such a great person, his a real niceguy, and i really wish he was mind, it gottin so bad that i have been spying on his girlfriend too, but its only b/c i want to see why his so intrested in her. i really wish i could stop doing this, but for some reason i think his my soulmate, can he be my soul mate and not even know it.

Answer 1

what u are doing is not normal u are just too in love

Answer 2

nor‧mal  [nawr-muhl] –adjective

1. conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.
2. serving to establish a standard.
3. Psychology.
a. approximately average in any psychological trait, as intelligence, personality, or emotional adjustment.
b. free from any mental disorder; sane

I think the word normal can be dangerous, especially if you're going to use it to beat yourself over the head and call yourself the opposite.

Instead of asking for a critique, I would try focusing on what's compelling you to do the things you're doing. Maybe you had a loss early in life, or some kind of trauma? If you feel there is something 'missing' or incomplete within you that only this one person can satisfy, and you cannot stop obsessing about it, then perhaps it's best you seek out a counselor in order to get some clarification that will enable you to move on.

The point is, you could be spending your time in a happy, healthy relationship, but instead are torturing yourself over something you've already been told isn't going to happen. You need to do better for yourself! You were fine before you knew of this guy, you'll be fine again after you forget about him, even though you don't necessarily believe that right now.

Incidentally, I have a good friend who believes that she's soulmates with this guy who really mistreated her, and I feel very skeptical about this. I don't know much about 'soulmates,' but I think there are many people for any one of us, that can be potential mates. Barbara De Angelis's book 'Are You The One For Me?' talks about this in depth and very wisely.

Good luck.

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Answer 3

No, it's NOT normal behaviour. There are actually laws against stalking, it's just as nuisance for men who do it, as it is for women who do it. Although, I think women are worse. Stop spying on them and get on with your own life. If he were your true soul mate, honey, he wouldn't be giving you the cold shoulder. The fact that he admitted you're not his type, should be warning enough that it's time to stop pursuing. See, the way it works, you actually need to match his criteria, in order for him to be interested, which he apparently isn't. Careful with the stalking thing, you'll find yourself with a restraining order or worse yet.. arrested. Is any man worth that??

Answer 4

when someone says no, they mean NO. let the man and his friends & family be for crying out loud. your feelings arent the only ones that matter. ive had people stalk me before and it did NOT endear me to them. AT ALL. it just made me realize that the person did not care about MY feelings at all and was just obsessing about HIS. people have rights and it sounds like you are going to end up being arrested. there are laws against stalking. go on with your life and get a grip on your own, before the law makes you. if you feel you cant stop obsessing on your own, then get some councelling. you may feel very silly about all this once you are over this. good luck

Answer 5

STOP NOW! this is against THE LAW! He may slap a PPO on you (Personal Protection Order). Keep yourself busy another way other than stalking. I know because I work for Attorneys and see this all the time.

Answer 6

I don't no but I did the same thing to this guy for 3 yrs. now and I still watch who he dates and everything. I don't no everyone say I was obsessed with him but Now I relized I don't have a chance with him but I don't care I still like him even though he told me he didn't last yr. mayb one day he'll come around to u and mayb he'll c that he likes u. I think ur just obsessed and that's ok!

Answer 7

That's a little creepy.
If he is your souldmate maybe you should wait.
Stop stalking, especially if you are stalking his girlfriend, if they found out they could get a restraining order and he'd think alot less about you...

Answer 8

You know, the best time to hold your tongue is when you must say something or bust. And their is no such thing as normal, silly.

Answer 9

no, its not normal and what you are doing is illegal and you need to stop doing those things youare having obsessive behavior and you better talk to some one about this kind of behavior before some thing happens to you.or you get totally out of control.and really do some thing stupid.

Answer 10

You see? No one will take this girl seriously but if a guy did it then watch out!

You should leave people alone and respect their privacy. Oh yes, and grow up while you are at it.

Answer 11

i know its hard to stop thinking about him because ur heart now isnt with u its with him
u have to do it
u have to forget him u will be hurted sometime but u will feel comfortable after that
try to know more guys better than u then u will forget him