The one year anniversary since my mothers death is coming up 11/29/06. With the fact that I haven't fully dealt with that and that I can't bare to go to cemetaries ..... my brother is pissed at me because I can't go up and 'visit' her on that day. Am I wrong for not going ..... is he right for being pissed off at me? He acts like I don't care but infact with everything going on in my life I have been doing my best not to break down. I just want some objective opinions on this subject.
2006-11-25 10:36:54 · 6 answers · asked by jewell2578 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I haven't accepted her passing. That is the thing. I'm doing my best to hold it together. I have a home to take care of and 3 children that depend on me. Rick doesn't understand that.
2006-11-25 10:44:48 · update #1
iam sorry for your lose
i think you should go i mean if she was alive you would of went to her birthday right
2006-11-25 10:42:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The grieving process is different for everyone. Your brother should be more understanding of your reluctance to visit your mother's grave. You should also try to see things from his point of view. If your relationship with your mother was stronger than the relationship between your mother and your brother, its understandable that you would be taking a longer time with being able to face her death. I really hope you find something that will make you feel at ease and not increase any rift that might be occuring between you and your brother....you guys need each other now more than ever.
2006-11-25 18:47:01 · answer #2 · answered by cudancegirl1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone must go through the grieving process in his or her own personal way. No one has the right to judge your behavior concerning your mother's death and you don't have to explain yourself to anyone except to say that you're dealing with this in the way that is best for you. I'm sure your brother already knows that you loved your mom very deeply but it is just human nature to expect others to follow the same pattern of dealing with emotional issues and this is totally unrealistic. Don't beat up on yourself and practice patience with your brother because he is not being cruel, it's just that he can't understand your attitude. Your brother is simply reacting to his own very deep pain. Please take care of yourself and I wish you and your family the very best.
2006-11-25 19:07:25 · answer #3 · answered by Bethany 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't bring yourself to tell your brother how you're feeling then write him a letter and let him know. Everyone deals with death and bereavement differently and whether it's the first anniversary of your mums death or the 23rd (like I have just gone through with my mum), it's not easy. Please don't beat yourself up about not 'visiting' her, as long as you never forget her (and you never will, trust me) then she will always be near to you. A year is no time at all but one day you will make that trip of your own accord. lol
2006-11-25 18:45:34 · answer #4 · answered by Sue S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the same thing happened to me. it just takes more time to get over a loss like that. so it is your choice. if you decide to go, just try to pull yourself together the best way that you can and bring an extra box of tissues!!! ;]
2006-11-25 19:00:39 · answer #5 · answered by _-*h3@+h3r.b0.b3+h3r*-_ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you don't go if you dont feel ready.I lost my father, ,and it gave me comfort to go visit his grave but You will be thinking of her, thats what matters.
2006-11-25 18:51:17 · answer #6 · answered by pepsiolic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋