I'm in my hometown for Thanksgiving and my ex boyfriend threw a birthday party at his place last night. There has been no flirtation between us for a couple of years now, so going there I had no intention of being with him. However, I ended up getting drunk and staying the night with many others. My ex lured me into his room and we slept together.
I deeply regret this and have no desire to ever even talk to him again. My boyfriend of nearly 3 years has no idea and I'm torn. Should I tell him and break his heart only to relieve my guilt? Or should I live with the guilt and spare his pain?
2006-11-25 09:52:14 · 19 answers · asked by GreenTara 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Take this info with you to the grave. Don't tell your girlfriends. If he suspects and questions you, deny it. That's what a man would do.
Why would you want to break your boyfriend's heart by telling him, just to relieve your "guilt"? That would be very selfish of you. It was just sex, nothing more. There's no reason to feel guilty, everyone cheats, eventually. The only reason you feel "guilty" is because you accept society's brainwashing about monogamy. It doesn't exist among 96% of other mammals, and humans do not show a strong predeliction towards it, either. Deal with it. Accept it, revel in it, but don't tell it.
It was bad enough telling all of us about it.
( way to go! )
2006-11-25 10:14:19 · answer #1 · answered by Icky Vicky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell him. Living with the guilt will only make things more difficult than it should. If I ever cheated with someone (which I did once) I would tell the person I loved right away so that way, it'll be out of my chest. Whatever happens depend on what your boyfriend thinks. If he forgives you, that's good because you can repair your relationship but if not... there's nothing you can do. You can try to ask for his forgiveness and hoping that you would improve the relationship but I know that this is something that you must do on your own. Whatever happens depends on what you do. I have faith in you for I've experienced this.
2006-11-25 17:58:45 · answer #2 · answered by lgacyx6 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I actually just went through this very recently, i was wondering this same question. I was drunk, he was drunk things got out of hand, i regretted everything in the morning. It only made me sure that i wanted to be with my boyfriend, which made the guilt even worse. I didn't want to hurt him, so i waited over a month to say anything, but finally the guilt go so bad I had to tell him. I wasn't able to sleep at night, I didn't want our relationship to be based on a lie. I told him today, he was crushed, but I am glad I told him because we can truely get on with our lives, and lucky fo me, he loves me too much to let me go. He wants to work it out. I can't promise this to happen in your case, but if he loves you, you may get the second chance. If you tell him, just give him space, he deserves it, but show him how you feel. Don't just tell him, he needs to be reassured.
2006-11-28 18:19:59 · answer #3 · answered by Victoria C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Living with guilt is CERATINLY not the answer, and I sware it will come back to bite you in the butt.
Even if you had no intention, cheating is cheating, and I say you should apologize as soon as you can, the sooner the better because he will know that you wouldn't keep something like that from him.
You might loose some trust, and maybe him, but living with that pain is not something that is healthy to go through.
Best Wishes. â¥
2006-11-25 17:55:52 · answer #4 · answered by M A D D i K i N S ♥ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to be honest.no matter the out come.dont put yourself threw it,your relationship will be strong enough to over come a mistake,or not.if you choose to lie then it will come to haunt you.take it from one who been there done that.if you make it right this time you may do so again.then you may spend years with someone you think you love but really dont,but being drunk is only an excuse.you dont sleep with someone when you truely love another
2006-11-25 18:03:25 · answer #5 · answered by pooh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guilt sucks, but your boyfriend of three years did nothing to deserve you unloading on him so you feel better. Suck it up, go on and get over it. But if it happens again, ask yourself why you're led to cheat on this boyfriend, maybe he's not everything you want in a man.
2006-11-25 17:57:26 · answer #6 · answered by mzzelle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him. Be honest with him. If he can't accept the fact that you slept with someone else while you were drunk, at least you won't feel like a liar.
2006-11-25 18:00:58 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!
Don't ever tell him. You made a drunken mistake and regret it. Plus its not something you would normally do nor plan to do again (I hope). Bury it deep in your memory. Nothing good can come of telling him
2006-11-25 17:57:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should def. tell him if you dont he'll eventually findout and itll get messy cuz theres notrust explain the situation to him he'll be upset but if youve been together for 3 years im sure youll find away to work itout good luck! but honesty def. works better
2006-11-25 17:55:00 · answer #9 · answered by fe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does your heart tell you?
If you dont think it will ever happen again then there is probably no need to tell your bf, but you have to decide
2006-11-25 17:55:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋