Im going crazy with son, he wants to quit high school and get his GED. Should I consider this?

Question

I have a 15 yr.old son who will be 16 in a few months &a 17 yr.old step-daughter. The past 2yrs Iv had huge probs. with both kids, I'v had to go to court at least 6 times for both for truancy. I'v had to pay $100.00's in fees.This yr.kids are attend a new school. So far I'v had to go to court once for stepdaughter for truancy, she is a very smart girl so no probs academically. My son WAS living with his bio father cause he gave me such a hard time last yr. with school,things didnt work out so he moved back in with me and my husb.My son is ADHD and on meds, he still has prob.(behavioral) in school, my son gives me the most trouble in school and home.He is disrespectful and defiant. There times I want to just run away. My son will be attending a new school next wk.,but I know that I will eventually go to court for him since he refuses to go to school most times.He suggests he quit school and get his GED. Im preg with complications and Im tired of going to court and paying $. Please help

Answer 1

My husband quit school at 15 and got his G.E.D. It was the best thing for him. However he wasn't being defiant and stuff. He also got a job. I would say tell him if he goes to school every day for three months and is respectful to you during that time he can do it IF he agrees to get a job and start paying you rent. Make him sign a contract about having a job and about house rules. Honestly I don't blame him for not liking school. My husband had severe depression and quitting school and getting a full-time job pulled him out of it.

Answer 2

If he's not motivated to stay in school, what makes you think he'll be SELF-motivated enough to complete a GED? I'll give you the short answer: He won't be. Look around for alternative education programs in your area. Consider phasing him off the meds. Help him find a part-time job in his area of interest (especially one that he won't be able to be promoted in until he gets his diploma). Go into the school and meet with his teachers. Try to design an IPP (independent progress plan) that incorporates some flexibility in attendance if he actuallly does all the work. There are many things to try before seriously considering a GED. The most important thing is to get support from professionals BEFORE the problems start at his new school.

Answer 3

I don't have children and can offer little advice, but my cousin has ADHD also and is on meds. But the thing we learned about him was that he is BRILLIANT. When he was in school he was already ahead of the class, so instead of doing his work, he would act up and cause trouble. So he was always labeled a "difficult" or "problem" child. Your son may be having difficulty with adjusting to a new school, his parents separating....anything. Plus he's in puberty. Everything is just probably wild in his life, and he's just trying to deal with it the best he knows how to.

I would allow him to get his GED. I think it would at least alleviated some of the pressure of school for him. Find out what kind of work he's interested in....try to get him to start learning to live like an adult. Maybe he'll be able to deal with that better. He might just be finding his way......

I hope something helps ..... and good luck!!! Oh...and congratulations on your baby......try to take it easy. I know that's easier said than done, but honey you don't need all that stress!

Answer 4

Kids need boundaries, especially teenagers. Give them both an ultimatum, either stay in school, and attend or get a job. DO NOT LET THEM LIVE WITH YOU UNLESS THEY ARE IN SCHOOL OR WORKING. Period. You are not responsible for their upkeep if they aren't in school and are capable of working, and over the age of 15. If they quit school, give them 2 weeks to get a job, then if they don't, pack their bags and throw them out. I think that you will find that after a few weeks in the real world, they would rather live by your rules than be hungry and dirty, and STOP BAILING THEM OUT. Refuse to go to court, and make them learn the consequences of their actions. A stint in juvie just may be what they need! As long as you let them do what ever they want, they will continue being rude, selfish, and will do physical harm to you AND your new baby.

Answer 5

By all means! ADHD makes it SO diffdicult for a kid to sit through high school....and a GED really is considered a diploma these days! (have you seen a GED test? Ouch! It really is a great test to determine readiness for college...Let him get it if he can, and get started with his career. These days experience is just as worthy as education--as so many companies promote from within and have paid training courses..which your son will thrive in if he's working somewhere that is of interest to him. He might do better without all the extra teenage influance that high school allows.

Answer 6

The academic system in America is not a mold that all people fit into easily. Remember, it is not the one and only path in life, though it may be the most popular. Everyone is different and responds differently to different environments and situations. Some people may not thrive in the normal academic environment that high school offers, but they may excel in college or vocational schools. Find where his strengths are and try to focus and develop those. Everyone has strengths, they just need to realize them and put them to action. And remember ~ there are as many different life paths as there are people.

Answer 7

Yes, let him get his GED.

If he's sick of high school but still has some spark for learning, he should try Simon's Rock College of Bard in Great Barrington, MA; website is http://www.simons-rock.edu. They're the nation's only solely early college that's accredited and grant AAs and BAs. They often do a great job with people who lack interest in high school.

Tuition is very steep but they have a full-tuition merit-based scholarships (AEP) as well as ones for minorities.

E-mail me through Yahoo! Answers for more information (or anyone who's reading this and interested in Simon's Rock).

Answer 8

I can empathize with how you are feeling. I think that since your kids are having a hard time and things hardly get easier once they start acting up you are at a place where you can sit them down and let them make a couple important choices based on school or not, move out or stay home but you and your husband will have to be firm and stick with them.

1) If they don't want to finish school then they can do the paperwork to get emancipated and leave home getting thier own apartment in 60 days and a little job to pay thier rent. Having to do all of that without a diploma they may see how hard it is and go back to school but they cannot stay at home and choose not go to school. (Getting your GED is actually harder than graduating with your class I have heard from EVERYBODY if they dropped out in 10th grade, the GED test goes all the way to 12th grade and college prep stuff, they will be losta nd have to sit in a class for 6-8 hours a day doing what they should have to months/years earlier)

OR

1b) They will attend thier classes and graduate from school getting thier diploma. If they are arrested for truancy you will not pay any court or lawyer fees. They will stay in jail until thier court date and you will not help them by taking them to thier commuhnity service or giving them bus fare, it will give them some responsibility and consequence. They are old enough to know whats right. Any trouble that they get in you will not bail them out of it whether it's murder or skipping school. My brother went through the same stage he needed to bang his head against the bricks a half a dozen times until he (is learning) his lesson. He got used to having that net of over protective parents there so he never had to fully deal with the consequense of his actions, now he does he a great guy to be around, well now that he is leaving prison.

2) They will have to get atleast decent grades (B's and C's) to get new clothes. Bad grades, poor attandance = No new clothes which is a BIG deal to teens. They cannot get a job to buy clothes unless they are doing OK in school. They won't get any spending money without a good report from thier teachers. If the teacher saysthat they are not performing ot not attending they will not have any McDonalds money, no bus fare, no using the car, no new clothes, no extras. They may call the Department of Family services on your but you are only responsible to provide the basics with a roof and heat. Tough love will not get you in trouble but get the private numbers of the teachers to call and check thier progress weekly, follow-through on it because it will not work if you don't follow through 100%.

3) If they stay in school and stay out of trouble you could encourage them to apply for college and help them fill out the applications in August/Sept at the beginning of thier senior year to get admittance the next school year. To find out what they are capable of getting for financial aid, fill out a FAFSA application for Federal Student Aid and maybe look at starting them at a Junior College for 2 years if thier highschool grades weren't so good and then transfer to a big college thier third year. Any questions drop me a line.

Answer 9

He will not have as good a chance at jobs with a GED. Many people think a GED and a Diploma are the same thing, but they are not!
Some places will not hire unless you have a Diploma.

Answer 10

I would like to suggest another option Home School there are tons of home software that you can monitor and report to the state so he can still get his diploma and most collages like kids that are home schooled better because they can work on their own. Don't think that you can't home school and work becaue I do and it only takes me about 2 hours per week thanks to the software program that I use. If you want more info e-mail me [e-mail]