need some advice again?

Question

i have come to u all b4 on this and i need to make sure i am doing the right thing, my bf and i have been doing alot of fighting in the past 4 wks, he has gotten into drugs again and i have tried everything i can to get him to stop and he says what i want to hear to stop the fight and then 5 days we are in the same boat, last time i sat him down screamed at him and told him he was going to lose me, he said he does not want that, i told him in order for us to make it work then he has to go to rehab and stop all the drugs and lying he says he will however i am kinda worried that he is saying it just to shut me up and will go back to it Should i give him the benefit of the doubt or just call its quits. I do love him with all my heart andhave been with him for the past 5 yrs. No kids between the 2 of us however i do have 2 kids that absolutly adore him 12 & 5 yrs old. What should i di, is it possible for people who are into drugs to actually get off and STAY off

Answer 1

In order for him to change he has to want to change and it doesnt sound like he wants to. The first step with any addiction is to
admit that you have a problem.

I know you love him, but do you love him more than your kids??
Cuz this situation is NOT DOING your kids any good. With that
as a role model chances are your kids could grow up to be just like him...............do you want that for your kids??

You could, also, contact a local agency to find out about intervention. IF that doesnt help then you need to leave.

Good luck.
Oh yah, people can change, but they have to do it for themselves not for other people

Answer 2

how are you going to have an exceptional dating without have self assurance??? you could no longer. If he cheated in the start the two recover from that or recover from him. you do no longer prefer to be in this dating for 12 years feeling this type and then come across that your suspicions have been good [he's cheating], then it would be extra durable to recover from him. As for now permit the previous stay to this point and if he's doing regardless of incorrect it is going to arise. persons many times tell on themselves by employing doing something dumb. I heard [or examine] this saying someplace it mentioned: a guy or woman purely isn't clever sufficient to no longer cheat yet he's clever enought to locate a woman who will defend. It. must you think that he's doing grime, then end the relationship. provided that there is not any dating without have self assurance and look at believe matters. in my view, you sound like a youthful woman no older than 25 if that. pondering this is a venture that i would not guard as a 27 12 months previous woman.

Answer 3

Well... of course he is not going to change if your threats are empty. Leave him. it might be tough for a while.. on both of you. but tell him you will not go back with him UNTIL HE IS ENROLLED IN A REHAB PROGRAM. Tell him he must complete it or you will leave if he quits early or he starts using again when he gets out. ACTUALLY FOLLOW THROUGH ON YOUR PROMISES/THREATS. Drugs are never good when there are children involved. Do this for your kids. You dont need to be with someone who is on drugs when you have two children to think about. If he sobers up... WONDERFUL... if not... you didnt need him in the first place. He will not change until he is ready to change himself. Sometimes the loss of something important can push it in that direction. Sometimes they dont care.. and that is just what drugs do to someone. My prayers are with you.

Answer 4

My advice to you is; you need to put your feelings aside and think about your children and that you are exposing a drug addict in your home! Do you know that if child protective services new about this they would come and take your children from you! Do you want that to happen to you I think not. So be smart and leave this Loser (Yes, I did say Loser) because that is what he is! Your young and have plenty of time to find a decent man with an education that will love and care for you and your children. Get out now before its to late.

Answer 5

honey ive been going threw the exact thing for 17 yrs,its so bad cause ive been on both sides.unless you been on drugs you dont understand it all.they are so bad they eat you inside out,mind,body,soul.you have no will power after awhile.some folks are ble to over come the prob,and never want to see them agian,others just give in an up.although,you love someoneyou can help only to a point.you will have to move on for your sake.if he hits rock bottem looses all,he has to make a choice,do better or worse.

Answer 6

He has to REALLY want to do it. At this point, there is no trusting him. With children in the picture, you NEED to create a healthy environment, protect them, and let them know you don't condone his lifestyle choices. Especially with a 12yr old- how can you teach them to say no if it's in your house? Your man needs some tough love- do what you need to do! That might just mean leaving him.

Answer 7

Whoa! Kids should never be around this kind of influence. Do what's best for them, and get them out of this sticky situation. No doubt, yes, he's saying those things to shut you up for the moment.

Answer 8

my answer to you is that you should leave him, but after reading the rest , where you say that you love him, them i believe that if he is willing to go into rehab then ensure that he does and support him every step of the way while he is there , however if he is not willing to go into rehab then you will just have to leave him and move on with your life for your not gonna get any where with him and i'm sure that you dont want your kids to follow in his foot steps. if he is not willing to go into rehab then let him go, hope my advice helped.

Answer 9

yep, It is possible, but only if they really want to.
Do what is best for your kids. Is being around a drug user what you want for them.
Get out till he can prove to you that he can stay clean for 6 months or so. If he stays clean that long, look at being together again if you still want to.
You can not make him get clean and stay that way, only he can.

Answer 10

1) ever hear or narcotics anonymous?
2) sounds like you have an addict on your hands.
3) best advice - get in touch with NA, ask some questions and follow their advice.
Addicts are very good at BSn the normies.. they can't BS the addicts because they have been there and don't tolerate it.