cant let go of my past and it keeps coming back to me and upsetting me?

Question

im 17 but 18 soon and well i realy need advice i keep getting me, memories of the past,when i use to get bulled and what they did to me.this always makes me cry and i cant seem to forget them.i find i cant trust my friends anymore as 2 of my friend they was the ones who bulled me and this happen when i was 5 and carryed on till i was 16.i realy h8 it i try to let it all go but i cant.i dunno what todo anymore. i feel depressed alot cause of it.what can i do

Answer 1

Get out as much as you can and make some new friends. The "friends" who bullied are not good to be around as they are a constant reminder of what happened. Also talk to your doctor and explain that you are feling sad, you may benefit from some councelling to help you through this rough patch...;

Answer 2

I had a bullying problem once and what helped me was admitting that I was depressed enough about it that I needed medication. It helped, not the first medication tried but the third, and I was amazed after a while at how much more clearly I could see, understand and deal with the situation after that pressure was taken off me. A family doctor can prescribe, but it's better to see a psychiatrist. Bullying is a serious issue, and you don't have to come out of a war to suffer post traumatic stress. Your reaction in NO WAY means that you're a weak person. It's a normal response to continued, unrelieved stress.

Answer 3

you might be suffering from an anxiety disorder along with depression and obsessive thinking which is a form of anxiety disorder.
if this is messing you up and it sounds like it is see the doctor .
your not nuts but if you don't treat this now it can become a big problem as time goes on .
this is common thing to have so don't be ashamed of it or worried that your nuts . your not nuts your just a person that has this kind of illness as a result of lots of stress over a long period of time. this could have resulted in physical illness but it didn't but its all the same anyway one way or the other its just something you need some help with and then you will be able to carry on and have a happy life free of this problem or at least have it a lot less then you do now or will if you don't get some medical help now . this can come from a MSW.doctor of psychology or psychiatrist

Answer 4

Those people who bullied you are not friends, it would be healthy if you could stop thinking of them as friends. It's natural that you will not trust them any more after what they have done to you. You are their victim, not their friend. Stop being their victim and stop being in their company, you would be better served by meeting new people, folk who will be good company with you and will not be horrible to you.

The memories of the past would fade if you could have nicer memories to think of instead, newer ones. Memories of things you have done recently that are of good events, good social events and interaction.

If you could get to join a new club or gathering of people that would be really helpful to you, to get something different happening that did not involve those people from before.

Good luck. Stay optomistic, things will get better with time and change. Try and be cheerful, becuase people will not be drawn to a person who seems down all the time. Try and focus on the good things in your life, the happy times and the nice events.

All the best
Love
Claire XXXXX

Answer 5

Remember, when you keep reliving the injustices that you faced, you are letting them hurt you all over again. It's not good for you as you know. The thing that helped me was, I would think of kids that got it worse than I did when I was in school. Also, trying to forgive them for what they did is a good step, I know you probably really can't stand what they did, kids can be so mean! but forgiving them helps you in the long run, as you can learn to let go of what happened to you easier. A good book to read is, "The Art of Happiness" by the Dalai Lama.

Here is a website with links on bullying at school:

http://www.guidancechannel.com/default.aspx?M=a&index=510&cat=50

Hope this helps! Remember, you aren't alone.

Answer 6

trust me, i know the feeling. When i start thinking of things people did, i find it really helpful, to jump around and just yell random things. It sounds ridiculous, and maybe that I'm not being serious about the issue, but trust me, it really helps me. If you don't exactly want to do that, (not many people do, i'm not very mature so people don't think much of it because it's just the way i am) find some way to take your mind off the matter. Take a walk, listen to music, things like that. Try talking to someone you do trust and that won't judge you, like a teacher, relative, or even an older sibling.

Answer 7

Maybe you should talk to your doctor, he could refer you to see a councillor who will help you talk through your problems. Alternatively you could cut these so-called friends out of your life. They're not your friends if they can make you feel so bad. You don't need people like them in your life and even though they may have stopped bullying you when you were sixteen, having them around you may still be too upsetting for you. Listen to yourself, what do you think is causing you to still feel so much hurt? I hope you can find your way out of this. DON'T LET THE BULLIES WIN!!!

Answer 8

The past things will always be a part of you, but see if you can manage those memories, and look at all the positives you have in your life no matter how small. A positive approch to life works wonders. I have cleared out drains and urinal wastes, and i can still get a positive thought out of those jobs, not easy but i did.

Answer 9

Bullying is really awful. Just remember they are only people who seem like monsters. What they need is a good kick in the crotch, if you dare? There is nothing wrong with you, they are just pathetic and will no doubt grow out of their bullying. In the meantime, try and avoid them, there are nice people out there, you are one of them. Try not to let them get the victory, it will go away. I was bullied at school, I know what its like, and in the early teenage years it is magnified in our minds. Believe me as you get older you will start to feel stronger. So, chin up, there are a lot of people hoping for you. Make us proud.

Answer 10

read your message. it is so sad and sends put so many negative thoughts. Im sure youve been told this before, but you need to be positive! It gets people so far in life. One lady was so positive she dissolved her own cancer without chemo! I know it sounds crazy, but it is true! :) so if you just think things everyday, like "I am so thankful for my wonderful life and that everyone loves me" you will be sending out positive messages. people will stop bullying you, and you will be happier. please just try this! It will work if you try hard enough, and just try not to think of people bullying you. Im using this same method to get a Wii. i just think "I am so happy that im going to get a wii" i have put up wii stickers everywhere to remind myslef that im going to get one. and it has been working. ive already started to figure out a lot of ways to make the money to do that. I hope i have helped! :)