A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ***.
6We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
2006-11-25 08:20:21 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
9When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ***.
10We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me".
12The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,.
13The recommended grace before a meal is not: Ru b-A-Du-b-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
2006-11-25 08:21:12 · update #1
hahahahahah
OMG
LOL
that was the best!!
thumbs up!!
2006-11-25 08:31:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
har.
mary with the cherry.
i've always loved that one
2006-11-25 08:30:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL
I hope no one is offended.
2006-11-25 08:47:33 · answer #3 · answered by curious 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
good one cheer
2006-11-25 08:28:59 · answer #4 · answered by Friend from heart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol funny
2006-11-25 08:25:38 · answer #5 · answered by im lost come and find me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
man, thats good!! vodka can make you say stupid things....
2006-11-25 08:52:10 · answer #6 · answered by rhay ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋