My bf and I have been dating for 3.5 months. He's 23, and I'm 22. Everything has been great - he told me he loved, he shows me by his actions that this is true, and we love spending time together. Recently, he found out that his ex (the only other serious gf he's had - he dated her for 3 years) is dating. He was surprised to find that he was kind of jealous. Now, he's told me that he's worried this might mean he still has feelings for her. He says he's in love with me, but he doesn't understand why he would feel this way about his ex. I know what he's going through - I was jealous when my ex started dating again, but I didn't think anything of it. But, he says he needs to see his ex (who lives in MN..he and I are in VA) over winter break. I asked him how he was feeling about the situation and he said he's not going to think about it with the hope that these feelings for her will go away. Given that he's inexperienced with girls, should I be worried he might choose her over me?
2006-11-25 08:05:06 · 11 answers · asked by skichamonix515 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's going to see her because his family lives in MN...he'll be going home over break. He's not going specifically to see her.
2006-11-25 08:11:11 · update #1
it's an ego thing, ,we all have it !! we all would like to believe that the one we left still should be mooning over us.. and we don't like to think of them with someone else, I'm sure this will pass.. !
2006-11-25 08:11:34 · answer #1 · answered by Lorene 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, he doesn't need to go see his ex over winter break. He should be spending that time with you or his family. They did date a while, so of course there will always be feelings left. However, he needs to concentrate on you. Keep him occupied: go see a movie, play games, etc. If that doesn't work, you need to sit down and ask him what the chances of him ever dating her again would be and be honest about how you are feeling about the situation. Good luck!
2006-11-25 08:09:48 · answer #2 · answered by freakykittygoddess 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry. It's a wast of energy. All you can do is let him figure it out for himself. If it is true love for you two everything will work out. If he chooses her it wasn't meant to be for you guys. Be happy if it goes bad for you that it happened now instead of after you were married with kids and your body wasn't as sexy as it is now. There are always more guys to choose from.
2006-11-25 08:12:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could see that you are feeling concerned and worried...but, if he is having doubts at this point...you should let him figure it out. His feelings of jealousy are normal...and if he decides that he does still have feelings for and "chooses" her, then it is better for you to find out now versus later...Remember that sometimes God introduces us to the wrong people so that when we meet the "right" one, we know how to appreciate them :)
2006-11-25 08:13:24 · answer #4 · answered by cinnabunkel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont worry about it honey, chance are that even if he was inlove with his ex, she probably wouldn't go back to him. this happens to everbody, people just seem to get jelouse when there ex start dating, it's a normal reaction, there's no need to be afraid
good luck!
2006-11-25 08:10:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't show him any jealous signs and let him go. If he really loves you then he will choose you over his ex.
2006-11-25 08:08:33 · answer #6 · answered by Push it. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why is it that it is okay for him to move on and be with you and not okay fro his ex to find start dating. He has to make up his mind who he wants to be with. I know he's being honest with you but its not right for him to have any say in his ex's life. He needs to move on with you and forget about her. You need to tell him what you need in the relationship not his ex.
2006-11-25 08:09:52 · answer #7 · answered by Ankit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go with him! i would lol or dont let him go if you are worried i wouldnt. I would tell him that she moved on and he needs to to and if he goes to see her then he will lose you, because he just needs to get over her!
2006-11-25 08:10:26 · answer #8 · answered by Sabrina P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly, you should allow him to go and see what happens. life isnt about keeping the person you love on a leash but its about letting them go and make their life. if they come back (which they would do if they really love you) then you know they are worth it and so are you and everything should work. if they dont then you know you are better off without them.
2006-11-25 08:09:27 · answer #9 · answered by sathia m 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He is obviously NOT over her and it really REALLY concerns me that he wants to see her??? And she lives out of state???
I'm afraid you may be history, honey...:(
2006-11-25 08:09:47 · answer #10 · answered by Maggz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋