Question for Islamic Reverts or other Muslims that have Christian family members?

Question

How do you deal with the Holiday Season? My family was never religious, Christmas for us has always been a time to get together and give eachother presents, not as a religious holiday.

1. I WOULD NEVER LEAVE ISLAM! I did not say that.

2. mlaheji, please feel free to answer.

Salam

Answer 1

Assamalu Alaykum Sister.

I am also a convert to Islam, and my family is Christian. The family of my significant other is also Christian, and all of them do "celebrate" the "holidays." However, I do not think it is wrong to visit with your family during these holidays, or to accept gifts from them or to give gifts to them-- unless it is explicitly stated that this is a form of worship of Jesus. If your family is similar to mine, then the is probably no mention of Jesus at all when exchanging gifts.

Our family are our most important links in this world, and if the holidays are an exceptional opportunity for you to spend time with them, then it cannot be wrong. When the Qur'an was first revealed, it was important for the believers to stay together, because there were not so many of them, and they had many enemies who wished them dead. Times have changed now, and I believe that Allah wishes us to honor our parents and family no matter what religion they choose. Family is the foundation of society, and we should not let our religious beliefs rip our foundations apart because of stubbornness.

When it comes down to it, Sister, you must choose what makes you feel most comfortable. Allah does not wish hardship on us, so do not make more hardship for you than is necessary. If you will feel pain because you are afraid of committing shirk, then do not spend Christmas with your family (please note the difference between the word "celebrate" and "spend"). However, if you are certain you can spend Christmas with your family without shirk becoming an issue, then do not give up your family because you think it will be more righteous.

This decision is entirely yours. You can seek guidance from anyone.. converts, Imams, friends, but ultimately, your decision will only be between you and Allah. Inshallah, you will do what is right for you.

And Allah knows best.

Answer 2

My dear sister in humanity, unfortunately your experience is not all that rare. It has happened many times before that a Muslim who knows little of their religion (or simply doesn't follow it) asks their spouse to become Muslim, only to have it bite them later, when their spouse starts to see their sins. I'm sorry your husband is acting in such a way, and I hope you will be able to understand that Islam is not always best represented by Muslims, especially in this case it would seem. While I would encourage you to become Muslim, as it is the right path, nobody has the right to make you do so. You also have all the rights afforded to a Muslim wife. While I don't know all the details, from you have said I would say divorce is probably your best option, as this seems to be more about his control issues than your religion. If you are determined to try everything to save your marriage first, you could try finding a good and learned imam to talk to him, possibly get first him (then maybe both of you as a couple) into counseling. Believe, me when you see a Muslim, male or female, with true Noor (the light of faith), you'll understand the difference. God bless you, and may you go in peace. Please e-mail me if you want any help or advice. I'm no scholar, but I promise I'll listen and do my best.

Answer 3

Assalamu Alaikum!
I'm lucky that my family itself never expects me to take part in any part of Christmas unless I make a move to do so. Also, my family isn't very religious. I often lead a small prayer before we eat dinner, though. I simply leave it unspecific so it suits all of our beliefs.
I do not accept gifts, though. I'm very clear about that... but this is simply my own decision. I tell people I don't want gifts. If they insist, I accept, as to not be rude.
I used to continue to go to church with my family on Christmas eve (it's a tradition, and we usually only go as a family once a year), but I sat seperately and in the back as to not impede the flow of people going up to take the host, and pray. I see no problem going to a church as long as you know what is haram and what is not. Ie: no host, no praying to Jesus, no woshipping idols, statues, etc)
We have wine at our Christmas dinner, and I simply don't drink it. I ask that no alcohol is used in the cooking. Sometimes, my family makes pork roast and I simply stick to salads and veggies. If you eat hilal foods, you can always cook yourself something small before dinner and eat that instead.
It's a bit of a hassle, but it's definately possible to remain connected with your family during the holiday season. I manage.
This year, however, is my first year away from home for the holidays. Insha'Allah, it will be good. I've been invited to have dinner with a friends family, and I 'll go to that. Building bridges is a good thing!

Answer 4

Before Iraq went to the nut house, it was very common for Iraqis, both Christian and Muslim, to celebrate Christmas.

I know some Islamic purists jump up and down about celebrating Christmas, but not all. I live in a city with 65,000 muslims, many of whom do Christmas in some way.

There's two angles you can take:

1. It is as much a secular holiday as a religious one anyway. I know Hindus who put up trees and let their kids hang stockings.

2. Isa (Jesus) is a prophet in Islam. That's what muslims tell us all the time anyway. Since they celebrate Mohammed's birthday, and even celebrate the day Mohammed broke his fast by eating a grape, what's so bad about letting prophet Isa get one day from you a year?

Answer 5

Leaving Islam is punishable by death. In all countries where sharia governs either formally or informally, this is institutionalized. In the western world, it is still fairly common but those people are usually sent to prison (unless you live in france, in which case, the police are not allowed in muslim neighborhoods).

To answer your question, the huge number of people who leave Islam each year are terrified of muslims and rightly so. They almost always have to stay away from their families because they now want to kill them.

I cannot think of a better reason that people should want to leave Islam.

Answer 6

I'm Muslim and the rest of my family is Christian!! I don't celebrate Christmas with them! When they give me gifts I accept them, say thank you, and move on!! When they say merry Christmas to me I say "the same to you", thank them and move on!! Its not really a big deal!!!

Answer 7

In my opinion,you must not go to christmas festival to your house.You should try to find out other festival to meet with your whole family.Or if you want so much to go to the festival of christmas you can go but you should remember one thing always that"NEVER GET WEAK FOR THE OTHER RELIGION."You can go and enjoy your self by the muslim method.When i used to go to my uncle's house who's chirstan,i stayed whole the festival but never get front of the cross or bowed it never.Because in mind one thing lives that's "ALMIGHTY ALLAH SUBHANA WATALA".Wish you good luck to recover this problem

Answer 8

I think it's ok to share them their festival. It's a family gathering which Islam encourage you to do.

Answer 9

You are hurting Allah's feelings by taking part is this seasonal event. Stop hurting Allah...its very painful and emotional for him...

Answer 10

I'm not allowed to answer.
:-(