How do I not worry what others think?

Question

I'm not sure if anyone has experienced this, but if you have or know any ideas, please help me!

If I'm sitting at my desk at work, I sometimes have a hard time concentrating on my duties because I'm thinking about who might come up to my desk. I don't want to be caught off-guard and look surprised or embarrassed when someone comes up to me.

I guess I'm self-concious about my expressions. I don't want to look mean or dumb.

How can I let go of thinking who might come talk to me and concentrate of my tasks at hand?

Sometimes I feel the same way when I walk into a supermarket or other establishment. I wonder how I'm perceived by others. How do I gain the confidence and not care?

Answer 1

Just don't pay any mind to them.

Answer 2

It sounds like you're a person who wants to be liked by and please others. It may take some time to get to the point where, even if you still care what others think, it doesn't paralyze you.

I'm the daughter of a woman who is clinically paranoid, so assuming that others were thinking about me critically all the time came naturally. Years ago I decided to try an experiment, and it helped enough that I kept doing it. Now I'm pretty much worry free.

Instead of assuming that people's moods and actions were caused by something I did, I started pretending that they had nothing at all to do with me. The guy with an angry expression wasn't mad at me - he'd had a bad morning, or he had indigestion. And so forth.

Most of the time this turned out to be true. And when it wasn't, people would usually let me know. As my husband tells me, "everybody's the star of their own movie", so most of the time people aren't thinking about me at all - they're thinking about their own lives.

Along the same lines, another thing to try is focussing on the other people instead of what they may be thinking about you. How is so-and-so feeling? Where did the lady at the supermarket get that "incredible" (aka awful) dress? Strike up conversations and see if you can get people to talk about themselves, thereby mentally drawing the focus away from you.

Finally, do whatever it is you need to do to build up your self-confidence. You need to be able to walk through life knowing that you're a good person, good at your job, and so forth. There will be occasional mistakes and conflicts with other people, because that's part of life, but when they happen you'll handle them like a good person. And that means that in the meantime, you don't need to focus on worrying about what people may think.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 3

this may sound weird, but go home, look in your mirror and say to yourself: i'm beautiful. i believe in myself. nobody can take me down.

it really does work!

and talk to people. the cute guy at work that makes you blush and hide away.... go talk to him. talk about the weather, his new shoes, anything!

do things you normally wouldn't do (as long as they're acceptable). tell the guy behind the checkout int he store when he gives you the wrong change. ask for a refund when you give something back, don't accept vouchers. complaint to your boss when you have a problem instead of forgetting about it.

keep your head held high and walk with confidence girl! you go girl!

(don't take it too far, you want to be admired by co-workers, not despised)

Answer 4

Accept yourself and be proud of who you are, sounds like your self esteem is a little low, rebuild yourself little by little, and soon these feeling should leave you, remember you are an important part of our world, and you have many gifts

Answer 5

I give all my problems to God and he takes care of them. He loves you very much and he will give you the confidence you so very much want and all you have to do is ask. Works for me every day. The secret is when you give the problem to God Don't keep taking it back.....Love your self after all you were made in His image.

Answer 6

QTIP: Quit Taking it Personally.

And I also tell myself over and over again: what people think of me or of anything in general is none of my business. What people think or say that isn't directly to me...is none of my business.

Then I tell myself: I am worthy and worth enough.

Answer 7

it is totally normal to worry about what others think but as long as you are happy and self-confident, that is what people will think of you!

The best thing to do is give them something good to think about you.

Answer 8

It sounds like you have some generalized anxiety disorder try and breath through it.