My g/f says my "technique" is like a labrador eating custard. Any tips ?

Answer 1

Yes, shave your fur, it stops the custard matting it...... ;)

Answer 2

Wait, is that a good or bad thing? What kind of technique anyway? If you ask me, for kissing, try not slobbering all over her, keep your tongue inside of your mouth or hers. Or at least, this is what i think you meant by "labrador eating custard". lol!

Answer 3

Heck, my g/f would love me to be like a labrador eating custard !!!

Answer 4

Master these techniques and she'll love you forever...

The classic

Separate the vaginal lips with your fingers, find the clitoris and lick around the edges, slowly and gently. Then relax your tongue and wiggle it side to side and up and down over the clitoris and/or clitoral hood (depending on how sensitive she is).

On orgasm, press your flat tongue against the clitoral head, continuing to lick, or simply let her push against you. Don’t remove your tongue until she says so - women’s orgasms last much longer than yours!

The ice-cream

Make your tongue flat and wide, like you’re licking an ice-cream, and start with long, slow, wet licks on the inner lips. Move from this into a swishing motion - imagine you’re catching the drips off an ice-cream. As your tongue swishes randomly, you’re now teasing the edges of the clitoris.


Next, alternate long, flat, ice-cream licks on or around the clitoris with firm, short, fast licks using a tensed tongue. (If the clitoris shrinks or she pulls away, you’re being too rough.) Alternate the techniques, then settle on the one she seems to like the best, continuing it through to orgasm.

The zig-zag

This technique stops you over-stimulating one area and making the clitoris over-sensitive. The zig-zag involves alternating vertical strokes of the tongue on the bottom of the clitoris with horizontal strokes across the whole of it.


Horizontal strokes are usually more pleasurable, so do about seven of those to one vertical. Once she’s highly aroused, add in some diagonal licks. Tilt your head to the side (your ear to her thigh) and, using the side of your tongue, start from a low corner point and finish by brushing up against the clitoral head.

Hands on

Let your finger follow behind your tongue so she has a contrast of sensation (soft tongue, firm fingers) or put a finger in her mouth. She’ll either give it ‘mini’ fellatio or suck in the way she wants you to lick her.

Insert a finger inside her vagina and thrust it in and out; reach up and use both hands to play with her breasts. If she likes anal stimulation, try simultaneously putting your thumb inside her anus, a finger into her vagina, and your mouth on her clitoris

Answer 5

Try around the slit, rather than inside it The best spot is towards the front of it - they like it when you stimulate that little hill there right above the front of the slit.

That's where their cl*****s is, and it kinda hurts if you go directly for it, but if you stimulate the area right around the skin that covers it, she'll go nuts.

If you're doing it right, you'll notice her breathing changing - you'll know what I mean when you hear it.

Good luck!

Answer 6

My girlfriend says that my "technique" starts like a Butterfly landing on a leaf, but ends up like a Bulldog eating porridge.

I dont know what she means!

And I dont care.

Answer 7

Yeah, next time you go down on her, sneak a labrador in there and see if she notices the difference.

Answer 8

Try giving the labrador a chew toy.See what she thinks then.

Answer 9

tell her she responds like a custard being eaten by a labrador, see if she likes this metaphor! Don't think it will enhance her sex drive much either!

Answer 10

LMAO! Try going through the alphabet with the tip of your tongue, making the shape of the letters as you lick. Try spelling some words and asking her afterwards if she knew what you said to her.

Answer 11

Ask her to show you what she likes ..buy eating 'custard' off your finger.. then you try it, until you get it just the way she likes it....

When you know the motion she likes, vary it a little ..like instead of up down. try side to side...loose tounge/hard tounge..fast slow you get my drift I hope.