My girlfriend recently broke up and got back together and then moved in with eachother. There are still issues that we are trying to resolve with what she did while we were broken up and my own sense of ego. But rather than being this joyous occation filled with plans and excitement for the future we both have started to feel underwelmed and confused. We've been talking about it but we're both unsure why this happened other than it was a combination of things. I was stressed with work, having emotional issues (and recently put on meds for it), she doesn't know how to deal with me, not sure where her life direction is going and needs more space, etc. We both love each other very much but something is askew. My question is, how do you keep things fun and romantic when you live with your significant other. We were contemplating marriage and this has really thrown a bit of water on all of that. I'm just really confused.
2006-11-25 06:49:52 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well I think you got more than just one problem there. It seems like you have some issues that you and your gf need to work on. First you guys broke up and then got back together and THEN moved in with eachother when things were still rocky??? That just doesn't make sense. My first suggestion would be to move out. Take things back a step. That might help both of you think better. Marriage doesn't sound like something neither of you should be talking about, doesn't sound like either of you can handle that right now with the way your relationship is at the moment. You need to help rebuild your love, make it stronger! Kinda like if your building a house and you forget some of the foundation but yet you build on top of it. It make look strong from the outside but when with pieces from the foundation missing it's a waiting disater. You need to fix what's broken first. Starting with trying to keep the romance is a good start, but don't forget about what needs repaired.
I hope that I helped you out some. Also you should check out this site. I use this site out a lot to give me some great ideas to use on my bf.
WWW.LOVINGYOU.COM
2006-11-25 06:59:48 · answer #1 · answered by browneyegirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that things are not quite at their best right now. I think understanding and respecting that each of you may need personal time in spite of living together can be very important, especially if you each have certain personal things to work through. However, in having said that, try to remain close in a non-pressure way. For the time being, I would hold off on discussing potential marriage plans and allow things to simply be, and to enjoy them.
I think having both fun and romance can really help your relationship. If and when the time is right, maybe you will both feel comfortable and ready to take on the next step in terms of marriage, but for the moment, I would focus on lighter things, respecting each other's space when needed, communicating and discussing and turning to each other, and spending enjoyable quality time together.
Here is a link with some nice simple ideas that could perhaps add a sense of romance and closeness to your couple.
I wish you both all the best.
*Some of the answers suggesting keeping things light, fun, simple, thoughtful, spontaneous can be good to help a little bit of the routine that can sometimes present itself while living together.
2006-11-25 07:07:53 · answer #2 · answered by Li 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My God man, are you insane? Hit the brakes. What in the world were you thinking moving in with this chick? Underwhelmed and confused, and taking meds for emotional issues, yet contemplating marriage? I am guessing you are young. Far too young for a relationship and marriage should not be on your radar at all. Get out of the living situation at the very least. Start seeing other people. She needs to go to school or something and figure out her own life before she can commit to living a life with someone else. You should listen to Tom Leykis' show and do it soon. Find him at blowmeuptom.com if he is not on your local radio. You were made for that program.
2006-11-25 07:27:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try surprising each other with small little gifts for no reason at all other than just because. Plan a romantic dinner for two and surprise her with it. Make sure that just because you live together, you do not fall into the trap that you think you have to be together 24/7. You each need to do your thing as well as making sure you have time for each other. Still go out on dates.
And I dont know what she did while you were broke up, but who cares. You were broke up. Understand that while you two were together nothing bad happened and that you have to have faith and trust in one another to make something work
2006-11-25 06:55:05 · answer #4 · answered by chevroletgal06 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep it fun. Forget the ego issues and let her know that you love her. Take the time to prepare a romantic dinner for her (even if it's just a big mac on a fancy plastic plate) and suprise her when she gets home from work. Just be romantic and eventually, propose! Don't let it be something that you plan... Be spontaneous! Come up with a fun way to propose, put a ring in a twinkie! Whatever, just keep it fun, simple, and loving and you got it going on! Good luck!
2006-11-25 06:54:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the best thing to do is suck it up and go out of your way to make things pleasant for her, keeping the attitude that change is not always immediate and you can only do the best you can do.
Cook her a nice dinner when she gets home from work, and just be a model boyfriend for awhile. Treat her the way you want to be treated, and maybe she will let her guard down (it sounds like you're both acting guarded now, but the only person you can change is yourself and set an example). Do the best you can, ignore any bad moods for awhile, and just act like everything is fine. Maybe it will become that way. Good luck.
2006-11-25 06:58:26 · answer #6 · answered by sarcastro1976 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing romantic about being just a live-in girl friend. If you love her, marry her. The situation she is in right now does nothing for her self-respect. She is either being used or feels she cannot take care of herself. Either way, it's a pretty horrible way to live.
Talk to her, find out how you can help her build her self-confidence. Whatever happens, be supportive.
2006-11-25 06:58:46 · answer #7 · answered by Suzianne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
once you get in a courting with somebody with infants from a prior marriage you address each and all the baggage with it. It feels like they get alongside properly and for the baby's sake it particularly is large. they are able to purely income from their dad and mom potential to make the divorce as painless as achieveable. I agree that he desires to do away along with his products from the homestead as this would lead the youngsters into thinking there could be a hazard of them getting decrease back jointly back. regrettably there is not any longer something you have a say on in this occasion until eventually it exchange into your place he's strolling in on. i'd propose having her set some floor policies as far as letting her understand whilst he's coming over in improve and making a flow to do away along with his products a minimum of to a storage unit if he does no longer have a place of his own.....yet on that notice it particularly is been 3 years the place is he staying now???
2016-10-04 08:45:57 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get married.
2006-11-25 06:52:50 · answer #9 · answered by flesh_of_daisy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋