This kid I know, whom I will call C, likes one of these girls I WAS friends with. I will call her N. C happens to be half african-american. N is not. The other day, C worked up the courage to tell her face to face that he likes her. N smiled and nodded and walked away. C was happy, and he thought that this was good. When I asked N if she liked C she says "umm....No...why would I?" When I went on to name all of C's good qualities (it took a while to do so...) she said "shut up..you are NOT going to change my mind." When I asked our good friend S if N had a reason for not liking C, she said no. I thought a while and asked N....."Is it cause hes black?" she avoided the subject. I dont want to talk to her and she keeps calling. I dont want to continue a friendship with her if she has a problem with black people......I really dont know what to do... :-(
2006-11-25 06:21:26 · 14 answers · asked by gigi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
when i asked her AGAIN she said " I dont want to talk about that" and walked away
2006-11-25 06:25:41 · update #1
She is calling saying she dosent get why i think hes so great. One message said " Ok. I dont like C because my parents wont let me date him cause hes black, and hes probally going to get in trouble." when I called her back asking what she ment about that she said that most black people get arrested for doing drugs and people are going to think shes weird if she likes C. C is a GREAT, guy
2006-11-25 06:29:51 · update #2
Is she a racist or just have other preferences. I have plenty of black and hispanic and oriental friends but I LOVE tall blonde guys. The more country the better. Am I a rasist? NOPE I just know what I like. Maybe she does too.
2006-11-25 06:27:14 · answer #1 · answered by Becky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she is calling, maybe she has something important to tell you... about how she changed her mind.
you can have a friend that is racist, it won't kill you. although it's stupid of her to not like a wonderful guy because he is black, she is still a good person...
as a matter of fact, why don't you give that girl a lecture?? be like "look, i think your racist. it's stupid of you not to like C, who is a wonderful guy, just because he is black. thats completely wrong. just try with him and you'll see how mistaken you were!!" and if you want to get her mad, add in "if he will even TAKE you after this, which i don't think he should."
although she may just NOT be attracted to men who are black, and is not racist at all, or maybe she has a whole different reason of not liking him.... still, though, i think you should tell her that.
2006-11-25 06:25:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a difference between not wanting to date someone of another race and being racist. As bad as it sounds, some people just aren't attracted to members of other races. If there's no attraction, then there's no basis for a relationship. However, if your friend is refusing to even find out if she's attracted to the guy, then maybe she is racist. I would talk to her and say that it's not a big deal to date someone of another race. Maybe she's just scared.
2006-11-25 06:24:41 · answer #3 · answered by skichamonix515 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you trying to make N go out with C?
If N doesn't want to go out with whoever for whatever reason it's not your concern.
Maybe to N, C is a jerk.
It seems you have a very narrow interpretation of friendship. (You do what I like you to do or you're OUT.) Your relationship with a person should be relative to your own interaction with them.
One general rule of thumb is that you marry whom you date. Maybe she is opposed to marrying someone of another race than her own. So what? Maybe she doesn't want her children to inherit the characteristics of that race. So what? That's her. If you don't care, so what?
If you do care, maybe you should only hang with people who are like you.
2006-11-25 06:35:37 · answer #4 · answered by CJohn317 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People do get to choose why they date others. For some people race is an issue. With other people it's weight, height, intelligence, or even hair color. Who knows, but you can't force her to like anyone for any reason. Her loss though, she'll miss out on getting to know alot of great people.
2006-11-25 06:26:04 · answer #5 · answered by ~Leading Lady~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u prbably feel like its tug o war
2 sides pullin on u
i know how it feels
try talking to N about it
tell her what u told me
that u dont want 2 continue
a friendship if shes a racist
if she says shes going to
sleep on it then give her a chance,
but if she says so what then drop her
who wants a friends who treats other ppl bad
and (i've said this many times but,) just think to urself its her loss
u and her could've been good friends
but she wants to miss out on it
thats her own problem.....
2006-11-25 06:30:07 · answer #6 · answered by ☼tough lil cookie☼ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her frankly you dont appreciate racism.
At the same time, if she doesnt prefer black men, its her business. After all, its not obligaotry to date a black man to prove she isnt racist.
2006-11-25 06:25:16 · answer #7 · answered by Joe Shmoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're making up the black thing - until she tells you she doesn't like him because he's black you have no idea what she's thinking. Accept that you can't know everything.
2006-11-25 06:23:24 · answer #8 · answered by E A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She didn't say why she doesn't want to date him. It is not fair to assume that is the reason why.
Keep talking to your friend. If she is truly racist, it will come out eventually.
2006-11-25 06:30:01 · answer #9 · answered by tbonz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she aint a good friend what if you were mixed just keep telling her
2006-11-25 06:24:27 · answer #10 · answered by suri c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋