since i was born,my parents (mainly my dad) controlled everything i did.and academic excellence was the most important thing.i was very sheltered.i felt like the only way to gain appreciation from them was to make the grades. when i reached highschool, i became a "serial" dater and stopped making perfect grades.i seeked appreciation from the boys i dated, and then i would dump them and continue with other boys(this didn't include sex).when i reached college,i missed my friends horribly and was jealous that they were going to the same colleges with eachother,and i was stuck at a college that wasn't even my first or second choice.i hated it.and then my sophomore yr, the close friends i made at college all transferred to diff colleges(they too didn't like it there).this made me sad,and my grads plumetted.i also started dating a boy that was just as controlling/obsessed with grades as my dad.now it's my junior yr,and he left me for a really topnotch student.i feel like my life is a failure
2006-11-25 06:05:43 · 4 answers · asked by l_brew0 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds to me like you need to figure out what you want for YOU.
Your parents want you to have good grades. Fine, good grades can open up a lot of doors, but they don't do crap for you unless you know what you're trying to get out of life.
Dating can be a real rush. The opposite sex is a lot of fun to fool around with. But if all you're doing is fooling, they won't stay. If all you want to do is get that rush, eating a lot of chocolate is pretty similar, and it won't break anyone else's heart.
Your friends are all great people. It's good to have good people in your life, but other people aren't you. Keep in contact if you like, but understand what you're keeping in contact for.
You say you feel like a failure because the guy you were dating was controlling, and obsessed with grades, but you feel like a failure because things didn't work out between you? Why? If he's a control freak, you've done well to get free of him.
What are grades anyway? They're just letters on a report card. It's not like they get tattooed on your forehead or anything. Once you get a real career, they mean absolutely jack ****.
I think the problem is that you're measuring success by other people's standards: Does having good grades make you a good person? Does being able to keep a boyfriend for some extended length of time define you as a person?
Why not sit down for a little while, and ask yourself a few questions:
1: What does success mean for you?
2: How can you attain that success?
3: Why is it important to succeed in those ways?
4: Will this sort of success really make you enjoy life better?
Keep an eye on the answers to 3 and 4. If you have no answer for them, or if the answer is no, you should probably come up with some new answers for 1 and 2.
2006-11-25 06:23:26 · answer #1 · answered by ye_river_xiv 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop dating. Spend time with you and discovering what you want out of life.
Unless you plan on going to post-grad, nobody cares about your grades, just that you graduated. But please realize that bad grades are not hurting anyone but yourself. You have two years left of school and I suggest you get it together because Daddy will not always be there to tell you what to do...you need the education for the job.
Don't worry about your lovelife. Nobody expects you to have it all figured out at this age.
Do not transfer schools just to be with your friends. If they all get job offers in Alaska after grad are you going to move there too? You can't plan your life around your friends, your father, or your boyfriend. You have got to put your own interests first.
Failures are the people who don't have any future prospects and are not interested in any. You are hardly a failure!
2006-11-25 14:17:24 · answer #2 · answered by tbonz 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should consider transferring yourself. If you are truly unhappy there and you want to be somewhere else than I think you should go. If you think it would help with your studies too then it would be a definite help to you to go. Just tell your parents you think you would be happier and do better in school if you went where you wanted to be. Just a suggestion. I hope it helps.
2006-11-25 14:15:20 · answer #3 · answered by CGS 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
me dad told me "life is a ***** then you mary one then you die lol
2006-11-25 14:08:35 · answer #4 · answered by carnivore93@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 4⤋