Healing Pain - a few months after a break up - false pretence of being happy-so much 2 deal with, what do i do

Question

okay, i guess its nornal, tough i am really not sure.
I had got out of a relationship sometime back - abt 4 months back, and i seem to still be in love with him. I am not sure but, i do think abt him all the time, and dream abt him often. This is not like me, but its happenin......
He belongs to someone else, he moved in with his ex girlfriend, there is 0 CHANCE of anything happenin with us, i must let this whole thought go......... i seem to only think of him,,,

I am trying to move on, but i seem to be cauht in a web of false pretence: to the outside world, i look like i am compleatly at peace, and happy with the way everything is. However this is not the case, I just am not..... A friend told me to stop hiding it, i mean everyone has a opinion of me thats false, and i dont know what to do, howvere i am not that strong, i am extreamly vunurable, esp right now. Ive tried to to get interested in other guys, but everytime i do i seem to just not be into them when they ask me out

ONCE he told me abt his ex after our break up, before she moved in we did get back together, then again, we broke up cause of her moing in.,.... its just a whole lot of emotions riht now.....


after that i did do all this

blog, cry for a week or a month, then take a vacation, catch up with some old friends..


i dont know how to say it.... i mean, i dont know what to do now.... its all there, the love the pain, and all the in betweens

need to know what to do, i need help and advice, cause i am so caught up in this web, i dont know where its at from here on
do u jknow what i mean??

plz advice, i am in dire need for some serious advice or help

thanks

Answer 1

I know exactly what you're going through. There's no advice that anyone can give you to get you through this, which makes it so much harder. And I think you're doing the right thing by acting happy and like you're fine. You don't want to wear your heart on your sleeve. That's only for your closest of friends to know - and that's what they're there for. You need to continue your life without him as hard as that is.

If you know there's 0 chance of getting him back, just realize that that's the reality. You're probably beating yourself up trying to figure out how to win him back, but reality hits hard and you just need to accept it. You have to be happy for him if he's happy and just know that you did what you could and you can't do anymore.

Someone once told me that guys always realize what they've done wrong when they're older and wiser, but they'll never admit to it. Just continue with your life the way you are and cry when you need to. If you live day to day with a sad face, it' s not going to help your situation any more. It's not going to bring him back, not going to make you happier, not going to change anything.

Time is the only healer. I think about my ex all the time. He won't return any of my calls or talk to me. So I just leave him messages telling him I'm thinking of him and if he needs anything I'll be there. But I still don't hear from him. So slowly, I'm letting go. I know it's already been 4 months. But I've known people that it's taken them a year or more to get over someone.

Maybe it just wasn't in the stars for the both of you to be together. Take what you've learned in the relationship and only remember the good things. I'm sure he's a wonderful guy, but that doesn't mean you'll find someone more wonderful who will make that committment to you and stick with it. Don't rush into another relationship because you know you're still not over him. Be honest with yourself. That's fine if you think about him all the time - you really love him.

But if you really love someone, let it go. If it comes back to you it's meant to be. And in this case, since he's moved on, it just wasn't meant to be. I'm sorry. I definitely know break-ups are not easy, but don't forget to continue respecting yourself. You're not alone...

Answer 2

It sounds like you are extremely depressed with this it is so hard to make a logical discern you need to step back and every time you think the best of him remember the reason why you called it off and all the heartache it has caused you and how does he move on so quickly to other women yes it seems mean but you have to be angry and realize why it went sour in the first place good luck

Answer 3

You describe your "web of pain" very well. While I understand the want of another relationship, this would not be a good thing. You want to fill in the void, but unfortunately, one cannot with a rebound romantic interest. Take some time to explore the feelings you're having. You sound fairly eloquent despite your pain. You will find that it gets easier and in the process you realize how strong you truly are. After you have had time to readjust, reassess, then you will be in a better frame of mind to find someone with whom you can share the deep kind of relationship you want.
Take your time.
You are worth it.

Answer 4

Come on... you know the answer. The answer is to close the book on this guy and move forward. Why would you want to spend another minute thinking about someone who dumped you for his ex? You deserve someone who will love YOU and respect YOU and not go running away when things get tough. Now go fluff up your hair, dab on some lip gloss, and head out to the mall and get yourself a new outfit. YOU have a love to give to someone else... he's waiting to be found so go out and find him!

Answer 5

Stand in front of a mirror when you're emotionally strong.

Tell the person in there to understand these facts: he's gone. He's with someone else. He doesn't love you.

Tell the person in there to take a deep breath, and move on. Lesson learned.

Then go shopping.

Answer 6

honestly, i'm not sure what to tell you. i know that with time the pain does stop. since he is with this other girl you really need to let him go. i know it is hard and i am so sorry you are still hurting after this much time. i wish you the best .

Answer 7

It's sounds to me like you sure enjoy wallowing in your self-pity and making sure everyone else knows about it (you wrote about it on here didn't you?), so they can give you a lot of attention.

Move on. He did.

Answer 8

I went through the same thing. OK, here's what WE have to

do. Improve ourselves?? Let's exercise, fix our hair, go to

church, do volunteer work; Let's get a new boyfriend -- we

know ________ (fill in name) was wrong for us anyway!!!!!