HELP: I seem to be caught up in my own web of false pretences..... i need help and advice, i dont know what?

Question

okay, i guess its nornal, tough i am really not sure.
I had got out of a relationship sometime back - abt 4 months back, and i seem to still be in love with him. I am not sure but, i do think abt him all the time, and dream abt him often. This is not like me, but its happenin......
He belongs to someone else, he moved in with his ex girlfriend, there is 0 CHANCE of anything happenin with us, i must let this whole thought go......... i seem to only think of him,,,

I am trying to move on, but i seem to be cauht in a web of false pretence: to the outside world, i look like i am compleatly at peace, and happy with the way everything is. However this is not the case, I just am not..... A friend told me to stop hiding it, i mean everyone has a opinion of me thats false, and i dont know what to do, howvere i am not that strong, i am extreamly vunurable, esp right now. Ive tried to to get interested in other guys, but everytime i do i seem to just not be into them when they ask me out

i need to know what to do, i need help and advice, cause i am so caught up in this web, i dont know where its at from here on
do u jknow what i mean??

plz advice, i am in dire need for some serious advice or help

thanks

Answer 1

This is tough to answer. My guess is there is a lot more going on here than you've said or can even say in a yahoo question post. My advice is to sit down with someone and really talk about this. A parent, a teacher, school counselor, or even a professional counselor. It sounds like you may be having a bit of an identity crisis. I know because I had one in my teens. Due to gorwing up in a dysfunctional home I didn't have an identity. So I picked personality traits and magnified them thus living a false pretence just like you are.
Good luck to you and I will pray for you.

Answer 2

This is difficult. I've been in a similar situation before and it's not fun. Don't take me wrong on this, and don't be offended, but are you sure you're still in love with him and not just how it was like when you were together? There must have been a reason for you two to have broken up in the first place. So are you sure that it's him and not how you felt in the "good old days"?

Don't hide under a big smile. I do it a lot and it's not being true to yourself. Talk to your friends about how you feel about this guy but you have to kind of try to move on. Nothing is forever, there's always a chance that you two will get back together in the future. But for right now, think of yourself and making yourself happy. Date other guys. If you don't want to commit, then don't. Go out and have agood time. Good luck.

Answer 3

Firstly, you need to take a long hard look at yourself. Are you just thinking about him all the time because he's now off limits??? We all do it, break up with someone then when they move on, think maybe we made a mistake. I think you need to relax a little and not get so worried about anything. Don't worry about what everyone else thinks about you so much, not even your friend. There are plenty of times when we all put on false facades to the rest of the world. It's really not that big of a deal, you just need to concentrate on you at this point in time. Don't pretend to be happy if you're not, but look for other ways to take your mind off your problems, stop trying to replace this guy, start looking out for you and doing stuff that makes you happy. You'll eventually either get over him or realize that you weren't really in love with him and when you least expect it you'll meet someone else. Just let him go. Enjoy being single, make the most of your free time, and just stop caring so much about the rest of the world!

Answer 4

Ok, if you don't want it "straight up", don't read any further:

I'm proud of you for not trying to break up the happy couple. That's a positive thing. The other positive thing is that you are grieving for him, for something you lost. That is completely normal. HOWEVER, you CAN get over it if you want to. You've got to stop the drama and move on. Purposely go out with other people. Just cause you date doesn't mean that you're marrying someone! You can have dates with other guys and just hang out and have fun and you sound like you need it. If you "act" happy, you will be happy. "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be" Abe Lincoln said that and it's true. So do this: Write all of your pent up feelings down; talk about the love and the hurt and the grief and how much you miss him. But also talk about how you're growing emotionally and willing to learn from this experience. Then make yourself a nice ceremony, candles, maybe a drink; take the papers that you wrote on outside and light them up; as they go up in smoke and ashes, send all these feelings into the smoke with them. Cleanse yourself emotionally, and watch them go away. This will relieve your heart. Godloveya, honey.

Answer 5

Love is strange...and sometimes cruel. Maybe you miss him just becasue you know that you lost him. cuz if there was a reason that you broke up than, probably that reason still exists. Plus he moved with his ex girlfriend which means that mybe just maybe he didn't love you so much.
My advice would be...feel the pain and face it, and then after that you just need to move on.

Good luck, and don't worry...everything happens for a reason.

Answer 6

Out of sight, out of mind.

By the way, why would you want someone who left you to go back to his old flame? He's always going to think that he was made for her and that she's the one he's destined to be with from the beginning. I know that it's not what you want to hear, but who says you can't belong to someone else like that?

Think about what happened for him to leave you, and think about the life you'll have with him EVEN if he did get back with you: Will you ever be 100% sure that he's not going to ditch you again for her?

Answer 7

well..
have u considered telling him. just tell him. if he says no, it may help u to get out of it..
no point in hiding it.
get hurt. its fine.. u'll come out of it.
atleast u would have given it a honest try.

if he says no,
blog, cry for a week or a month, then take a vacation, catch up with some old friends..
keep ur chin up girl..
im in the same place.. im hopin i will come out of it.. my ex doesnt want to be with me..
hope whatever is best for u happens... it will

Answer 8

So you;'re supposed to show the whole world that you;re in pain? THat's ridiculous. You miss him, that's understandable, you'll get over him in time. Maybe it's just too soon.

Answer 9

i have the same problem!!!! My ex bf is back with his ex and i love with her :( and i smile and pretend i have moved on, but i still think about him a lot.... and only him, i dont want anybody else....

only time will help, i hope!!

Answer 10

Dire help? Move on, he has.