I'll keep this as short as possible: We meet, hit it off real big. Things go great for a few months. She starts to go distant. Hot and cold for a while. We talk. She says she is always like this. OK, I have heard the, "It's not you, it's me" thing, you know what I assume. But things stay hot and cold. We start getting closer, she starts to push away. Up and down, like a yo yo. I start to push a little, figured it's only a matter of time that the "truth" comes out. We keep talking, she keeps saying the same thing though. I let up some, but the back and forth drives me nuts, just totally plays on every insecurity I ever had, and I back off some, push some. WTF? Finally occurs to me that she really meant what she said, something big and bad in her past. But now I've pushed her further away (not gone, but on a "break"). If I explained this to you, what would you say? I mean, what should I have thought? I have to look out for me, and who hasn't heard that line before?
2006-11-25 05:26:59 · 10 answers · asked by randyken 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She is seriously one of the nicest people I have ever met and I assumed she was just too nice to break it to me. So if you were in her shoes and you heard this account, do you think you could look past it eventually? Or is it gone? This is seriously just a misunderstanding, one that I originally thought I was protecting both of us from.
2006-11-25 05:27:34 · update #1
from the sound of it she's like me.... and if you were to come to me and tell me that you are sorry to have pushed me away but you thought my acts were something they werent (a resonable assumption... even she should see that) and you would realy like to try to make this work i would forgive you and try to make it work too because obviously she means enough to you to have you stress out like this...'
good luck
2006-11-25 05:38:27 · answer #1 · answered by NewMommy!!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Story is a little confusing but I think I got the jist of it. I would definatly say that she has had a relationship or two in her past that have gone wrong. Maybe she is just feeling insecure or maybe she really likes you but is afraid of being hurt again. Your best bet is to try being her friend first, let her know you care but be willing to take it slow. This will show her that you are true and not just some jerk like some of the guys she may have been involved with in her past. Go the romantic route- try sending her flowers when she is pushing you away. Always make her feel special. Don't try to smother her though. If this back and forth thing continues in the next month or two, maybe you should move on. Maybe she just isn't ready for a serious relationship yet, it really doesn't sound like she knows what she wants. Like I said, try just being her friend, maybe this is what she needs right now. Good Luck to you, you sound like a nice guy I'm sure something will work out for you.
2006-11-25 05:42:40 · answer #2 · answered by burnettebreeze98 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really think she wants to break up, then just ask her if she wants to. It'll give her a little push into breaking the truth out.
But ONLY if you're 100% sure what she's thinking. If not, you need to sit down and seriously talk to her. Tell her everything you just told Yahoo! Answers. Say that her actions make you feel insecure. It's not like she can read your mind.
2006-11-25 05:33:23 · answer #3 · answered by abcdefgh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she means this much to you then you should try to wait it out and be as understanding as possible. Eventually she should start warming up to you. Tread lightly and don't do anything that would make her think that you could hurt her in the future because that will just push her away farther. Just give it time and she should come around. P.S. tell her how you really feel about her, that always helps
2006-11-25 05:32:38 · answer #4 · answered by chicadelsol 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not ever too late. Tell her that you're not giving up on her yet, but sense that she needs her space and are open to reducing things to a friendship for an indefinite period of time. Hopefully you can get a clearer picture of what's going on... whether she wants to be with you, and what happened in her past. Good luck.
2006-11-25 05:32:01 · answer #5 · answered by solaralley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry i do no longer think of they are in a position that might assist you however the subsequent time you're making a huge purchase confirm you write the astonishing handle down in case you tell them the mall which you have been at they are in a position to call over there and be sure tho :)
2016-10-17 12:58:12 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two need to talk , not word games or cliches or BS , talk and tell the truth and do not hold anything back. If she holds back or doesn't feel comfortable , forget the whole thing
2006-11-25 05:33:37 · answer #7 · answered by DEADGONE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on dude- this chic is yanking your chain. She isnt emotionally mature enough for a real relationship or its just not you she wants to have one with. Quit wasting your time with little girls who play games.
2006-11-25 05:30:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is probably the simplest answer I've ever given:
TELL HER WHAT U JUST SAID! EXPLAIN IT TO HER THOUROLY WITHOUT BEING RUDE.
That's all u gotta do.
2006-11-25 05:31:28 · answer #9 · answered by boy_skowting 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. Explain this to her, and ask her to talk to you and to trust you with her past.
2006-11-25 05:32:29 · answer #10 · answered by Justsyd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋