My parents tend to try to make decisions for me...yes, I'm bordering 20 years old, but I want to visit my boyfriend in New Jersey. His family and all his friends want to meet me, and I want to see him(i miss him!!) and thats where I want to go for Christmas. It will be a cheap flight because Im a college student. My parents have not met him, and it's all for several reasons because they dont like him and don't really approve of me being with him...so he and I decided to wait until he moves here in January and just get it over with. But I want to go spend like a week with him, I really do...but my mom is already making plans about "I'll drive you to see you grandma and grandpa." I can drive myself, and maybe I want to see my boyfriend for a week before I go spend the other 3 weeks with my grandparents. They assume, and I think they will give me a problem about seeing him. How do I approach it? Do I ask or tell them I'm going? What do I do?
2006-11-25 05:17:34 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
School gets out for Christmas break on the 6th of Dec...and I wouldnt leave until after that...Im only planning to stay a week and also..they wouldnt be paying for the flight...I would.
2006-11-25 05:18:20 · update #1
First off, are your parents living in the dark ages...
Go and do what you want [Not what they want] go see your boyfriend and his family..
Tell your mom in a nice way NO I am going to visit with my boyfriend and his family and that is final.
You are 20, you tell them what your plans are and go for it..They have no hold on you anymore...
Some parents just don't want to let go, but now is a good time to stand up for yourself....
2006-11-25 05:24:41 · answer #1 · answered by Angell 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Things like this are so difficult. I kind of know how you feel. I can never make my parents happy. I'm 20 and doing a degree course and working 30 hours a week. They have always said that if I am in education, and as long as I am working, I will not have to pay rent. But now, their argument is, that because I'm working so many hours, that I have too much disposable income and that I should contribute to rent. I dont' mind this, but it kind of conflicts their statement in the first place. Anyway, well done for finishing it with your boyfriend, it sounds like he wasn't right for you, and his behaviour is bang out of order. I dont' really know what to suggest with your parents, I dont' really understand my own nevermind anybody elses. I just don't think that parents have a clue what goes on, but make out that they know everything, and that they have to control every single movement. Hopefully now that you are home a little more, they will stop giving you hassle and stuff. I totally know what you mean about not wanting to be around your parents, I feel the same, I feel so unwanted, but I can't really go anywhere else, and I feel trapped. I really do hope that things get better for you, and I really am sorry that this answer hasn't really been much help, and has been more so me moaning about my life too. Good luck with everything. You haven't done anything wrong in my opinion, stay strong. xxx
2016-05-23 01:37:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why haven't your parents met your Boyfriend? How can they like or dislike him if they haven't met him? Could it be that they don't approve of the changes/decisions you have been making since starting to date this person? If you are going to be off of school so long, can't you visit him before Christmas? Can't you think of some sort of compromise that would work for everyone? Can't he meet YOUR parents and family first? You need to be honest with yourself and your parents ASAP instead of sneaking around and dropping a bomb of a plan on them that will only hurt them! You are setting up everyone to be unhappy and hurt. The best thing to do may be to wait a month and see him in Jan. Don't burn any bridges with your family...when it all comes down to it they are the ones that will ALWAYS be there for you....boyfriends come and go until you find one to marry! If he's the one you want to marry then he needs to be right with your family!!
2006-11-25 05:29:51 · answer #3 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow....
The simularities between your situation and mine are striking.
I'm also in a long distance relationship, although my boyfriend doesn't live near his parents, we're going to spend Christmas with his family and I will be moving closer to him in January....
My parents have no idea that I even have a boyfriend or of what I'm doing, since I'm also nearly 20 and they try to run my life...
I see it as...you're old enough to make your own decisions, it's time to step out of your comfort zone and just take chance.
Good luck!
2006-11-25 05:23:12 · answer #4 · answered by x_athymia_x 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all your over 18 tell yours parents I am out of your house I am to make my OWN descions. I am 19 right now and I live on my own. My parents dont make my descions. If your parents have never met your boyfriend then how can they like him. Tell them.. You can judge him all you want after you meet him but I am not going to change my mind about him. They need to accpet the fact that you have grown up. Call your grandparents and explain the situation to them they should understand. Then tell your mom you talked to them and they were okay with it and go see your boyfriend. Your parents cant control your life forever. They think they can and that is when you need to put your foot down. Good Luck hun and if you have anymore questions shoot me a email.
2006-11-25 05:24:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Whose paying for school? If you're living independently, then you should do what you think is right. They're going to get upset, but it is christmas and you're old enough to make your own decisions. It's only a week. Just handle it with care. Don't let them bully you, but don't lose your temper. Growing up means being able to take an *** chewing.
2006-11-25 05:26:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
good for you!! thats what i did for thanksgiving, i'd rather spend it with my man, than grandmas. i'd ask your mom when she is leaving to kinda bring it up, and just tell her dont sugar coat it, say cheap flight to jersey, i'm spending christmas w/ man, let her see your responsible. hope all works out. dont let her put a guilt trip on you either!!!!
2006-11-25 05:22:03 · answer #7 · answered by collegechick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as your bf to meet ur family and settle every thing
but 1 main thing is that ur parents would be thinking right thing for you so u must 1st listen to your parents
and wait for the day when they will acept ur bf
best of luck
2006-11-25 05:24:59 · answer #8 · answered by ravi s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents worry about you. Today parents don't give a hoot about their kids and what they are doing. Stop for a second and thank God you have parents that care about you.
2006-11-25 06:10:41 · answer #9 · answered by kayef57 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋