I have an interesting, potentially disastrous problem...?

Question

So... My boyfriend of a year (we're in college) is not exactly the most high-maintenance guy, and doesn't really do super special things for me like flowers or really nice dinners... but he does what he can and I really appreciate the small things. I know his heart; I know he loves me, and that's all I need from him. He has this "friend" from high school who has always competed with him, athletically and academically, and probably is kind of jealous of my bf. We'll call this guy Andy. Andy found out about me, and started to IM me a while back. I didn't think anything of it, because it was just normal talking, and my bf knew about all his friends that were curious about me and liked to talk to me, and he was fine with it. This guy Andy, however, is always trying to get me to feel dissatisfied with my bf, trying to convince me that my bf is not considerate or caring. I met him in person for the first time yesterday, and I guess he thought I was kinda pretty and tried to flirt.

And then he proceeded to IM me again today and talked about Madame Bovary in French Literature and how she was silent about the man she was promised to, and her silencing of herself caused her to be irrational and unfaithful to her husband with a more exciting, romantic guy... I told him I was fine with my bf's actions and efforts... and this guy was kinda put-off and I signed off. He really is starting to bother me. What is he trying to do? Should I tell my boyfriend about this?? Thanks!

Answer 1

well dont be an idiot about it. you obviously know what he's trying to do...so dont let him..tell him what the deal is, and that hes not going to use you to compete with your bf

Answer 2

Go ahead and contribute money to the author, James Peden. Writing script for snake oil is an art and his talents ought to be recognized. There is not a single paragraph in the article that would pass a peer review process for publication in a reputable scientific journal and Peden knows this. It the article was worthy of publication, he would publish first and then post the reprint. Peden also knows that he can fool most Americans because fewer than 30% of Americans have taken a high school course in physics and only 0.02% have an advanced degree in physics. Some of the more amusing comments "Steve McIntyre, a Canadian analyst, who spends two years of his own personal time reverse-engineering Dr. Mann's PCA program." The PCA method is freely available. I used the C++ code in Numerical Recipes to code and debug the method in a day. (It took more than half an hour because I embedded the routine in a linear algebra class.). If it took two years, well that is an indication of how well McIntyre understands mathematics. " McIntyre subjects Mann's PCA program to a "Monte Carlo" analysis - which inserts random data sets into the function - and discovered that no matter what data he fed it, the result was always the same. The arm of the "hockey stick" ( paleo-record ) always came out straight." Duh. If the numbers are random the trend line has zero slope. You don't even need to use the PCA program to figure that one out Steve. At least you proved that the program works. By the way, did you have problems with singular matrices or did the round off errors hide the problem? McIntyre's work was rejected for publication in Nature. Go figure. "In reality, the two smaller peaks don't account for much, since they lie in an energy range that is much smaller than the where the 15 micron peak sits." Hm, E=hc/L so the 15 micron band is a lower energy than the 2.7 or 4.7 micron bands. Peden can't even get the energy scale right. "Man-made CO2 doesn't appear physically capable of absorbing much more than two-thousandths of the radiated heat (IR) passing upward through the atmosphere" Get a FTIR spectrometer, open the sample compartment and exhale once. You will easily see the change in absorption in a path length of 20 cm. Get some real lab experience Peden and do a reality check before writing. Believe it or not, real scientists base their results on experimental evidence. By the way, CO2 and H2O are the two easiest molecules to measure with an infrared spectrometer and they have infrared absorption cross sections that are much larger than the size of the molecules. All research grade instruments are purged with dry air to remove CO2 and H2O. Again do a reality check, CO2 molecules are little dipole antennas. Go back to a first year E&M class and figure out why your radio, which also contains a dipole antenna, works. Peden's article is rubbish. Enough said.

Answer 3

Wait just a little while.. and make your intentions clear to this andy guy. He's obviously just jealous of your boyfriend and what you two have. Tell andy that you have found someone and nothing is stopping him from going to find someone for himself... and everyone has good things about them, but you are interested in your boyfriend. By saying this, you're giving him advice and doing him a favor in the long run, but if he persists... just block him. you've tried to help him out, and now all he's doing is bugging you about something special you have with someone else. Good Luck!

Answer 4

What do you want? If you want to stay with your boyfriend, then be a good girlfriend! Call Andy on his bullshit. Tell him he's a prick of a friend, and let your boyfriend know, too. I personally wouldn't go for someone of Andy's character. He was trying to make you feel disatisfied with your boyfriend even before he met you. He is motivated by great insecurity and would make a bad friend (or more) to anyone. This only speaks volumes about your boyfriend (that he's worth a bit of jealousy).

Answer 5

I think that you like the fact that this guy is paying attention to you. Your ego is of the utmost importance. You probably are pretty which would explain a few things that I notice about you in this post. Naturally, you know what the right thing to do is but you refuse to tell yourself this because you want to keep open the option of playing with this guy. You likely will end up with neither.

Answer 6

yes tell your boyfriend and then put this "Andy" guy on ignore! Just tell him flat out that you are a one man woman and you think he is a lowlife for even trying to steal you...oh by the way, print and reread the IM archive so you have proof when you tell your BF! K have a great day!

Answer 7

Andy's looking for trouble; looks like the competive edge hasn't gone out in him does it? Get rid of him quick.

Answer 8

you need to tell your boyfriend about his friend(andy), and i dont think you should talk to andy untill you told your boyfriend, seems as though andy is competing with your bf for you.

Answer 9

Let him know that you and your bf are happy and that you like him just the way that he is. It sounds like he is trying to "steal" you from him just to get one up on your bf. DON'T LET HIM!!! Let him know that you don't appreciate him talking bad about your man to you and that you'd rather not talk to him anymore!!

Good Luck to ya!

Answer 10

there are guys who love you and guys that use situations in which you will need a shoulder to cry on. dont let anybody change your mind about your bf.