I have just learnt that you have to be happy with yourself first before?

Question

you start dating is this true if so how can someone learn to be happy with them selfs. Its just I have so many emotional problembs I don't know where to begin. I was wondering was anyone else like this if so what emotional problem did you deel with first. And how long did it take till you started dating. I know this is kind of a personal question and I understand if you don't want to say. But I really need advice please.

Answer 1

This is true, you should definitly feel good with yourself before your ready for a relationship.

Answer 2

In theory you should feel happy and emotionally sorted. But to be honest, I dont know who actually really is sorted! Everyone, or most people have a few emotional things going on. We all have some baggage we are carrying around so dont worry about it too much! If your emotional problem is because of a relationship in the past, then I'd leave dating for now until you feel stronger. If its something else, then talk to someone who is qualified to help you work through the things that are bothering you, and again, once you feel your getting mentally stronger, then you can think about dating then! Good luck!

Answer 3

I myself had a lot of emotional problems in the past and wasn't able to talk to anyone. Maybe you can. And if you can't, do like I did: I wrote everything down. It didn't have any structure, but you can get everthing off your chest. Later on you can look at your problems one by one and try to solve them. You'll notice that you are a lot happier if you get your problems out of your head for a while, and not deal with them all at once. Life gets a lot easier if you can do it at your own time. Once I was handeling my problems, it took me maybe two or three weeks before I had any interest in any other person. Now I enjoy my life more than I ever have. You'll know when you can go dating again.
I hope this information helps.

Answer 4

Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On top of one column write positives. On the other side write negatives.

List all the pros and cons then rank them each side from the most important to the least important. It's important for you to know what you like about yourself. Writing things down on paper allows you to see the pluses and minuses.

No one is 100% happy with him/herself. Look at the number 1 in the negative column and try to work on that. Let's say, you wrote not friendly. Try to work on that by going out of your way to be friendly to people.

Go down each item and try to correct what you don't like.

When you start to feel down, look at the positive column and reinforce those feelings until you feel good enough about yourself.

Answer 5

There are many people in dysfunctional relationships, they get pay offs that feed the emotional issues. I went into therapy for a year to deal with mine, but I have to say It wouldn't of been easy without my husband being there for me. You can have a partner but make sure you don't choose someone that reinforces your crap.

There are many websites for self help around self esteem.
Books
affirmations etc


Good luck

Answer 6

I was with my boyfriend( now hubby) before I was happy with myself I suffered post natal depression and have been a self hater since childhood. I never took any meds even though I was offered I knew It was somthing i had to deal with myself.start by thinking what made me dislike myself was it lots of thing or is it one defining moment.mine was when i got taunted over and over again for being fat by teenage boys,at one piont I went to 7 stone (i'm 5'8) which made me skeletol but because they taunted me i believed them. if you don't have courage or self asteem you end up in bad relationships because you think it's o.k to be a doormat just to hold on to that person or not be alone (trust me I've been there) i am luckey in that because my husband believes in me and loves me we have grown together.I 'm now doing a diploma course in psychotherapy which 3-4 yrs ago I would not have been able to do because I thought of myself as unworthy and stupid.my advice is don't overanylise things ,learn to accept you don't get everything right first time and that you can do ANYTHING if you set your mind to it. everyone has faults so why stress ?you can only make a concerted effort to change these things gradually. my biggest problem is going over and over all the bad things i've said or done or people have said to me.it does me no good it just makes me feel worse.decide what needs changing in your life to make YOU feel better and set targets .think about where you want to be in 10 yrs. I spent half my life complaining and had no right because i never done anything to change it.the more you feel good about yourself the more sexer and self assured you will seem to others.most of all laugh at your own jokes love your body love yourself.

Answer 7

I don't know who told you that you have to be happy before you date. This assumes that women are perfect and will turn you down if you are rather unhappy. This is tosh. People can like you despite yourself. The idea that people will not like you if you don't like yourself is a very imbecilic notion put about by cretinous psychologists and manipulative psychotherapists. Avoid those c*nts like the plague, they will hurt you. Punch them very hard in the face.

Answer 8

of course. a relationship takes confidence in others, if you don't have confidence in yourself before you find someone else, it won't get very far. get to know yourself first, understand your morals, beliefs, and know where you stand with issues. it'll give you the confidence to go out there and find someone who thinks you're an amazing person. it'll all come into play.

Answer 9

It is important to love and revere yourself.