Say your parents want to give you a arranged marriage but you want to marry a person of a different race that you love but your parents will leave you for this and not ever speak to you again as well as your community shunning you. What would you do?
2006-11-25 04:28:21 · 23 answers · asked by ╦╩╔╩╦ O.J. ╔╩╦╠═ 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I have never supported the idea of arranged marriages for the simple reason whose life is it to live? Part of being human is to make our own decisions and take the good or bad results of these. Your parents are living their lives, maybe they should let you live yours and forget about the cultural stuff. If you live in this society, you have an obligation to live as we do.
2006-11-25 04:33:22 · answer #1 · answered by ron k 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Arranged marriages have a better chance of success than those "love" marriages. Usually, the young people want to marry because of immense sexual attraction. Unfortunately, this is not the basis for a good marriage.
Arranged marriages, on the other hand, are usually decided upon by rational choice rather than passion.
Many parents who arrange their children's marriages compromise nowadays in that the young people get to accept or decline. I saw this happen with an absolutely beautiful Muslim girl. Her family was presented with one young man after another. The men who were considered eligible were told to wait for an answer. The family asked the young lady how she felt. If she said no, the marriage did not happen. Eventually, a very attractive young man with good prospects and a nice personality came along. The family approved, the girl approved. Wedding bells. years later, they are doing very well.
Old fashioned cultures are really strong supporters of family and community. In the long run, marrying someone of whom the family does not approve will cause immense problems down the line. you cannot possibly imagine how serious a decision you have. All the things that are in place to help you survive will not be there for you. think long and hard about going against the family.
2006-11-25 04:47:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one cuz we are taught that our parents know what is best. I have this way of thinking once we move out or have become adults it is time to cut the strings and to make our own decisions. You need to ask yourself if you marry the one you love, are strong enough to handle the anger and the hostility?
Just so you know I've been in a similiar situation with the community thing and partially arranged marriage thing, my parents were not involved, and I decided that when they started shooting hypothetical bullets at me I would catch them in midair and eat them, and as often as I could I would let them see me. Like I said this is a tough one, I could be at risk of poisoning you against what you hold dear, so think it over very carefully before you come to a decision.
2006-11-25 04:45:00 · answer #3 · answered by Laela (Layla) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know a few people that have married someone that their parents did not approve of and their parents were mad at first but they eventually get over it. Most parents love their children too much to cut them off for good even if they think they will. As for the community? It should only matter what the people you love most think.
2006-11-25 04:32:03 · answer #4 · answered by Charlee's Mama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I grew up a Muslim and my husband is Jewish and I have converted to Judaism. Some of my family members were appalled by my decision but others were extremely happy for me. The ones that were happy for me are the ones who also married out of our race.
I would suggest go with what you feel...if your marriage is arranged, will you be happy in that marriage? The person whom you love who is not of your race, do they fulfil you?
2006-11-25 07:41:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well u should marry the one u love and not who ur parents choose, they are not gonna be the one living with who ever u marry and what if u marry the one they choose and u dont love him and he's bad in bed then thats a mistake u have to live with and on the other end if u marry the one u love well at least u're with the one u love and the one who loves u.
2006-11-25 08:59:32 · answer #6 · answered by ms_tat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Arranged marriage allows you to comment,love marriage doesn't.
2016-05-23 01:28:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it really depends on how much you love this person you want to marry ... are they worth being shunned by your family & community? do you think you can live away from where you grew up? I know arrainged marriages are hard and sometimes cruel but in your culture it's probably expected and you need to really think about your family as well when making this decision, this is not something for any one but you to decide. i wish you luck
2006-11-25 07:22:33 · answer #8 · answered by emnari 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say go with the arrange marriage plus they will always last. But if I was your mom I would tell you to follow your heart.
2006-11-25 04:31:32 · answer #9 · answered by jenny21gon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that if the parents threatened this, then this would be proof that the parents DID NOT love their child. Just knowing that they didnt love you would be a good enough reason to marry someone who does love you!!!
2006-11-25 09:14:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋