Am I wrong?

Question

My girlfriend of almost 20 yrs came to visit my boyfriend and I about 1 1/2 ago. I had to go away for an emergency for about 4 days. During this time, my boyfriend (of 3 yrs) tells me she walked around w/ a wife beater and boxers on revealing the obvious body parts, while showing him photos of herself in a bikini in Cancun. I was of course livid and just cut off all ties w/her instead of fighting. She now conveniently lives 5 minutes from us w/ my boyfriend's mother while she "gets her life together." My problem is my boyfriend says there should be no problem w/ him being friendly to her. I agree that "hi and bye"should be ok because it is his mother's home, but that should be it. She steps beyond boundaries by having his mother call to get directions from him and to ask him other random questions. I think I'm ready to stop being patient! To top it off, I had no Xgiving because she opted to stay there! Am I overreacting? It just eats me up. Ladies, Men, Help ME!

I have known this girl for almost 20 yrs. We are both in our late 20's now. And yes, his mother knows OF her but only because of my boyfriend's cousin, who happens to be a long childhood friend of mine. This whole thing stinks. I think he is too passive to take a position. I'm wondering should I just let him go? I have other posts that show what a pain the a$$ his mother is and how he is mister fearful of commitment. I need advice, so I don't do the wrong thing. My gut says leave and start over, and my heart says stay.

Answer 1

YOU have outlined the PROBLEM:

"...my boyfriend says there should be no problem w/ him being friendly to her."

Now, with THAT statement, you should really be CONCERNED with BOTH that girl and YOUR BOYFRIEND!!

I'm sorry, but any man that tells you something like THAT in a situation like THIS clearly has a little "Player-Mode" up his sleeve.

Watch out!

-----Good for YOU!!!

Answer 2

First of all, why does your boyfriends mother do this? Maybe you need to tell her to stop being a middleman. Your girlfriend is definitely overstepping her boundaries. Maybe you should settle this once and for all. If I were you, I would call her and let her know that by showing your boyfriend pictures of her in a bikini, while she was wearing a t-shirt and boxers was not being a loyal friend. Ask her why was this done when you were gone. Tell her you feel betrayed. If there is no trust, there cant be a friendship.

Answer 3

Gee, this whole scenario makes me think you slipped down a rabbit hole and ended up at the Mad Hatter's Tea Party. Any moment now, you are going to turn around and see a caterpillar sitting on a giantsized toadstool, wearing a top hat and smoking a pipe; and a Walrus and a Carpenter will stroll by hand in hand.
Methinks 'tis time for you to drop the friend, drop the boyfriend, and try to get out of Wonderland and back into the world of rational, normal behaviour, before you forget which is which.

Answer 4

It is just too convenient on how she moved into your bf mothers house.....WOW...I would have been tearing her up ..She has no right to be there...but then you can't be mean and tell her to leave because then you would come across as a real ***** to yoour bf mother ....Tell the mother that it is hard on you with her living there and see if she could find somewhere else to stay.....This woman is only going to cause more trouble .....You need to explain that if she was walking around your house with almost nothing on and then she conveniently ends up at his mothers.....NOPE THIS GIRL IS UP TO NO GOOD !!!!!! and the sooner he realizes it the better and mom too

Answer 5

OK this is really a nerver-racking situation. Stop that girl doing all those things. You are not overreacting at all, you have the rights to lose your patient. Pay attention on what is that women doing and try to put an end to it, I think you know better than I do how to stop her because you know her.

Answer 6

Oh, they are doing it.