I'll keep this as short as possible: We meet, hit it off real big. Things go great for a few months. She starts to go distant. Hot and cold for a while. We talk. She says she is always like this. OK, I have heard the, "It's not you, it's me" thing, you know what I assume. But things stay hot and cold. We start getting closer, she starts to push away. Up and down, like a yo yo. I start to push a little, figured it's only a matter of time that the "truth" comes out. We keep talking, she keeps saying the same thing though. I let up some, but the back and forth drives me nuts, just totally plays on every insecurity I ever had, and I back off some, push some. WTF? Finally occurs to me that she really meant what she said, something big and bad in her past. But now I've pushed her further away (not gone, but on a "break"). If I explained this to you, what would you say? I mean, what should I have thought? I have to look out for me, and who hasn't heard that line before?
2006-11-25 03:43:41 · 10 answers · asked by randyken 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She is seriously one of the nicest people I have ever met and I assumed she was just too nice to break it to me. So if you were in her shoes and you heard this account, do you think you could look past it eventually? Or is it gone? This is seriously just a misunderstanding, one that I originally thought I was protecting both of us from.
2006-11-25 03:44:20 · update #1
I know where this girl is coming from. I think she is pushing you to see if you will take off at the first sight of trouble. Thats what I do. It's a way for her to protect herself from jerks. It's not fair to you but it sounds like she's been hurt before. Go to her and talk to her face to face, not on the phone. Tell her that she is pushing you away and that is why you are pushing back. Ask her flat out if she wants this relationship to continue. If she does then you have to make a personal decision, can you stick around through the ups and downs? If so then tell her you will wait it out. Let her get comfortable with you and trust you. If she pushes too much and you no longer feel wanted at all then tell her that, let her know that it can't continue, and that you need more than that.
2006-11-25 03:50:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's confused and not ready for you. One of you needs to draw the line. She feels like she wants you but also wants the world. It may be something she's going through or truly maybe a mental issue. She may also be afraid, but then again that is not your problem. I would not push her anymore just live your life and if it's too late when she comes back that is her problem to deal with if things were meant to be they will happen. But it's not healthy to do the back and forth thing. Life is too short to deal with that. When things get to the point they are driving you nuts...time to go and move on.....as I always say just be civil....you do not want to regret this later...what I mean is do not burn the bridge let her do that. She still has somethings she needs to learn, it sounds like she doesn't know what she wants!
2006-11-25 11:50:35 · answer #2 · answered by ~Another Day~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been where she's at so many times and what she has said is the truth and not a line and no she's not playing games either... Be patient with her and quit thinking that she's trying to mess with your head... the woman has issues that she hasn't dealt with and you have every right to back off and should but don't think that it all deals with you... You should go and talk to her and tell her how you really feel. then you should try to be her friend and not get expectations going. being her friend is the best thing you can do for her and your own sanity...
2006-11-25 12:08:08 · answer #3 · answered by sexton 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard to tell what she is doing..But whatever it is she needs to be up front with you ...Ask her what the problem is and don't let her dance around the truth...Tell her how you feel about her and that you want to know if you should continue or stop now...If it is something from a past relationship tell her that you will help her get past it but that you need to know whats going on and that she really needs to quit playing around with your feelings.
TRUST without it the relationship will go nowwhere
2006-11-25 12:03:40 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lets see, well if she truly loves you then all will work out, sounds like to me there might be a communtation problem here, maybe if you two sit down talk things out let her know how you feel and ask her how she feels about it, but if you truly like or love this girl then you will do what ever it takes to make things work, also try role playing, you be her she be you. and if you are wondering , yes i am a shrink, anyway, if that doesnt work, give her , her pace, dont run just give her her space, sometime us laides need time to our self, i know you guys do not understand that, but just like you guys need to hang with your guy friends we need need to hang with our friend girls. but again, truth be told, you two need to talk and see if you can find out where the problem lies, it might be with you or her, but which ever it maybe , when you find out where the problem lies then and only then can you fix what is wrong. i my self see one problem you two do not talk, openly about how you to feel. i hope i have help you and i wish you the best.
2006-11-25 11:59:34 · answer #5 · answered by angie c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is for a reason that she is like this, but I know she not trying to drive you away from her. You have got to take care of yourself also...so I guess think on it a while, talk to her about it, and do what is best for you. Sounds like your friend needs a lot of hugs.
2006-11-25 12:25:19 · answer #6 · answered by Honey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to tell you the truth it seems to me that she is the one with the problem and if you dont like how she is try to talk to her and explain to her what is bothering you and try to work it out and if that doesnt work than you need to get rid of her cause there is a reason why she acts that way....
good luck..
2006-11-25 11:48:06 · answer #7 · answered by SHORTY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this girl has been using you... why would you want to be with a person who likes you one day and ignores you the next? Find someone a little more consistant with love... she's playing your heart.
2006-11-25 11:48:06 · answer #8 · answered by live*laugh*love 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This stuff is the reason I am a crossdresser. It is simpler than dealing with all the crap.
2006-11-25 11:47:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she sounds like me so dont count on her coming back but if she does she will just break your heart
2006-11-25 12:15:57 · answer #10 · answered by india 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋