Advice needed from mothers with many children close in age...?

Question

I have had 4 children in 6 years...I am struggling with adjusting to all of the changes...any tips on how to get back into feeling more in control and less chaotic? Virtually every aspect is chaos...from the laundry, to finding quality time to spend, to my emotions...it seems my priorities are out of whack, meaning that EVERYTHING becomes a priority and I don't know what to tackle first

I am married to their father, and I am a stay at home mom. Serious advice only, please.

Answer 1

Bless your heart! What you need is some rest, some help with time management, and some sanity. I really don't know much on the time management, other than if your kids are old enough (even 3 years old!) they can help with laundry, etc by doing little things like sorting clothes, bringing clothes down, putting their clothes away. Try to make it fun...(challenging, I know.)

Check this site out http://www.momscape.com/articles/time.htm
and some other articles on that site.

Organization is super important, as is being able to say "No" and delegating! It is hard to do all of that at first, and when you're tired, you probably think "I'll just do it myself."

But you'll save yourself a lot of stress down the road when your kids help out vs. expecting you to do it yourself.

Above all else, give yourself at least 30-60 minutes a day for yourself. Exercise, take a bath, drink your coffee in the A.M. Sometimes this means sleeping a bit later, or getting up a bit earlier, but it will be worth it.

I know that's all easier said than done, but just take it a day at a time.

Answer 2

I have 3 and two are close in age (7, 3, 2) and we want one more. I say enlist your husband in more of the duties. He may feel like it is all your job since you are at home, but it's not. He must help where he can, for example, folding clothes or occupying the kids in the evenings while you get things done. If I put the laundry in, my husband will do the folding or hanging. Can your mom help out at all? Ask for help if you can. Try to do as many duties as possible at night. I do heavy cleaning at night because they mess up all day. I prepare crock pot or any meals that can last a couple of days. My hardest was to stop buying so many clothes - that will cut out so much laundry. Finally, if you can fit 20-30 minutes of exercise in, this should help you with more energy.

Bottom line, there has to be more teamwork with you and hubby because 4 kids (close in age or not) is a lot of work!

Answer 3

Struture is what you need. You need to wake up early in the morning if you dont already and get few things done without the kids...Maybe even work out in the morning to get your day started right. Set goals for the week and write them down on what you want to accomplish for the week....No matter how big or how small. Make a list and prioritize it before you day begins. If you have all of the stuff in your head you feel overwhelmed, but when you can cross it off a list when you finish it you have a since of accomplishment. Set time aside for your children and have time for them scheduled in to your day so they know it is coming and you dont feel you are just giving them your left overs (time wise). Give them the best of you because they grow up fast! If you cant handle it all, ask for help! If you cant afford a babysitter have your husband give you a night out a week. Write on the calander your night out so you will be able to see a light at the end of the tunnel, even if it is 5 days away. Good luck!

Answer 4

Well, first of all, plan out the day, it might seem difficult, but playing and working together as a team with get things done. My son is 2 and picks out his clothes and shoes, he even pick up his mess and clean his room with just a little help. You shouldn't have the whole load to yourself, make the children help. Plan things out like you plan a holiday dinner. like

1. wake up and stretch
2.brush teeth
3. brush hair
4. wake up children/ if awake already than make sure they have their clothes and backpack ready.
5. take the some odd children to school
6. come home have activity time.
7. nap time
so on and so on, plan your day out. Like I made two pies on tuesday and I didn't have to stress about it the day before thanksgiving. Like make the lunch the day before and you won't have to worry about it in the morning when you are so groggy. I did this for my husband, because I knew I wouldn't be able to do it in the morning. Plus the lunches will already be fridgerated for awhile and will last until lunch time because they are extra cool. Knowing you did it the day or night before, makes you feel less stressful the day of. I know it's difficult, and you got pregnant and god only gives you want you can handle, so you are ready to handle it, you just need some guidance. Buy a book that women write about their lives with many children and they give tips in the books, and that will help. Take care

Answer 5

I work at a daycare and i think i have some good suggestions for you.
1. Set a bedtime and stick to it 8:30 no ifs and or buts, the first few nights will be hard and they will continue to get out of bed and come se you tell this once the first time this is mommy time and send them back to bed for each time after that say nothing and lead them back to bed. No family bed remmeber this is your time, for you
2. Set up a reward system or the older one's. My daughter has a star chart she can earn ten. In how ever long it takes her but if she does not follow her rules she can get them taken away.
3. Make rules small and simple and positive if possible. For example Use your walking feet, Use nice words and nice touches, No fits etc. 3-5 rules s the limit for a 4 or 5 year old.
4. Schedule activity time or outside time each dau=y a solid hour to do fun things with your kids and allow them do use those muscles. Find a place for them to run or play outside and challenege them to work togeher and hae fun. Set up an obstacle course or whatever intrest them.
5. Get yourself a memership to the gym. With childcare so you have time for yourself
6. Teach the kids who can do things on their own to do them. A four or five year old can get dressed and begin to learn to shower themselves with supervision a three year old can clean their own room. Etc Etc Know your childrens strengths.
7. Stick to your rules it will be hard for the first week or two but in the end it is so worth it
8. Use plenty of praise when you can and timeout or taking a "star" away when nessecary. When the child gets in truble and begins to throw a fit or whatever say if you dont calm down soon i'll have to take a star away and if they dont calm down. COunt to three tell them when you get to three if they dont calm own youll have to take one away. If they dont calm down simply walk over and take one away and say in a calm voice, I'm sorry i have to take this now, this is the chioce you have made i hope you can earn it back soon. Dont make a big deal out of it youll only be feeding thier anger.
8. Learn to relax and have fun good luck inthe future

Answer 6

Sounds like you need to make a strict schedule and stick to it (like the army does). There is not much choice with 4 young kids. It was your choice and you just have to deal until they get older.

Answer 7

you could desire to stop leaving and coming back. make a call and carry on with it, it rather isn't any longer honest on your toddlers. in case you reside set some sparkling rule with reference to the call calling etc. in case you enable it opportunities are high your daughter will enable adult men to handle her that way besides. My husband and that i've got a no call calling in anger rule, and surely no longer swearing. we've been married for 15 years and a few year in the past he went via a spell like this, yet no longer in front of our toddlers. and that i made it sparkling to him i might no longer tolerate the verbal abuse, era. i do no longer care if he makes each and all the money, he might instruct me the comparable understand I instruct him or it became over. He has no longer referred to as me a popularity in view that. you could desire to get on a waiting checklist for low earnings housing, yet i think of you will possibly ought to be divorced or they are going to count style his earnings. you could desire to locate the potential to make a call and carry on with it. ultimate needs, and remember you're nicely worth extra effective than that, and additionally you could desire to steer via occasion on your toddlers of a thank you to allow human beings cope with you, incredibly inclusive of your daughter being 15.

Answer 8

mom first of all you need some ALONE time to relax and enjoy yourself, weather it be go for a walk or go to a mall. just be by your self. i have 3 children close in age and i use to go for walks to be by myself, beleave me i know where your comeing from and it is chaos at times. we love our children but we need time for ourself. good luck mom.

Answer 9

Great way to REGAIN CONTROL is to CLOSE YOUR KNEES.
What the hell were you thinking, woman.
You were a participant in this so quit whining.
This all began about 61/2 years ago....................what were you thinking when you got pregnant for the first time?
Second time?
The third time?
The fourth time?
How many baby daddy's are involved. Have them each come over and help you out.
If there is only one baby daddy who earns a decent living, get a maid and nanny. Surly some one who feels like they can afford FOUR KIDS has resources to cover such things.
If you are married, vasectomy for your husband and or tubal ligation for you is defiantly in order. Certainly a tubal ligation if you are unmarried.
You may not like to hear this, but you asked.
RESPONSE TO REQUEST TO SERIOUS ADVISE:
THAT IS WHAT I GAVE YOU!!!!
I feel mostly sorry for the kids.

Judging from the horrid e-mail you just sent to me, I strongly suggest that you seek professional mental health advise, for the sake of your kids!
Yes I am a mother, but did not choose to over-breed.