Follow up. Get past a HUGE misunderstanding?

Question

I'll keep this as short as possible: We meet, hit it off real big. Things go great for a few months. She starts to go distant. Hot and cold for a while. We talk. She says she is always like this. OK, I have heard the, "It's not you, it's me" thing, you know what I assume. But things stay hot and cold. We start getting closer, she starts to push away. Up and down, like a yo yo. I start to push a little, figured it's only a matter of time that the "truth" comes out. We keep talking, she keeps saying the same thing though. I let up some, but the back and forth drives me nuts, just totally plays on every insecurity I ever had, and I back off some, push some. WTF? Finally occurs to me that she really meant what she said, something big and bad in her past. But now I've pushed her further away (not gone, but on a "break"). If I explained this to you, what would you say? I mean, what should I have thought? I have to look out for me, and who hasn't heard that line before?

She is seriously one of the nicest people I have ever met and I assumed she was just too nice to break it to me. So if you were in her shoes and you heard this account, do you think you could look past it eventually? Or is it gone? This is seriously just a misunderstanding, one that I originally thought I was protecting both of us from.

Answer 1

It's not over until it's over. She clearly just needs her space, and you've given it to her. Kudos to you! It would probably not be out of line to give her an occasional call to see how she is. She will hopefully come around when she sees how nice and supportive you are.

Answer 2

Two types of women in the world. Normal girls and psychotic loser. Normal girls all want the same thing....a strong man who loves them.

The hallmark of the psychotic loser is they cling to you when you are leaving but could care less about you when you are theirs (you aren't "a challenge" anymore). This quickly degenerates into abuse and is never better than unsatisfying. What really gets these girls going is abuse. If you are the type of guy who hits them, degrades them and engages in drama, this juices them up and makes them intense in a relationship. You see this very clearly in her past relationships with drug users/dealers, criminals and other assorted scum. Any woman with any of these in her past is almost certainly a psychotic loser. And she will dump you sooner or later for exactly this type of guy. But not in the normal way, hehehe. It's not fun for her unless there is drama.

They are psychotic in a literal sense (not a figurative sense) and their thinking is disturbed. If you look for it, you will see many examples of this leaking through. These are "dings"....things that are a bit odd or a bit off. They don't make sense at all....until you know the person is nuts and putting on a facade. Then they make perfect sense. They are her insanity slipping through the facade.

There is only one way to deal with a psychotic loser....get rid of her. You won't want to and it won't seem like you need to (psychotic losers are VERY manipulative) and she will do everything you can possibly imagine to keep you around as you try to disentangle yourself from her. However, if you don't do it, she can and will hurt you in various serious ways.