to your kids?? I mean...if you're the main one that disciplines...and the kids whine...and he just lets them do whatever they want?? Why are Mom's always the "bad guy"? Our kids are all teens BTW! I am trying to control them...and he is tired of the whining and gives in! How to deal with a spineless Dad??
2006-11-25 02:58:00 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Well, that's how it is changing, the man was the one who disciplined the children back then, and now times have changed where men want to have a great relationship with their children. Tell your husband when the kids are asleep that you need to talk about this situation. He should never undermind you in front of the children and then the children will lose respect for you. You both need to set rules, like how should we deal with this situation. If they are teens why are they whining? Your children might get spoiled from your husband letting them off the hook too early and they whine to you because they know shortly dad will step in and save the day for them. You need to talk with him about this, this is serious. When you are done set rules, then you set examples for the children and tell them the rules and that's how it's going to be, If the rules try to be broken, then the rule is still intact, you can't break the rules and will be punished. Say if they wanted some money, and you needed a chore that they should of done, done. Dad gives the teen money, they leave, they are punish, because you said no, you have to finish first. Take away precious things like phones, computers, many likable things of your children's. Grounding is the next step. You must enforce these rules, even if dad steps in and gives them money, you have to get dad to get the money back and make the teen finish his duty. Dad, made these rules with you and that's how it's going to stay. Good luck
2006-11-25 03:09:40 · answer #1 · answered by fourcheeks4 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In the case of the spineless DAD, I would encourage the kids to go to him with any and all questions or discipline needs from now on. If they get totally out of control, then he will only have himself to blame. Maybe then, he will back you up in your discipline. Better yet, take a vacation for a week by yourself or with your girlfriends. Go far enough away that you can't get to them right awya if there is a problem.
Sometimes, it takes loss before people begin to appreciate what they have. Considering that you are OK with being the main disciplinarian is commendable.
Another alternative, is to put your foot down, even if you husband gives in. You may seem like the bad person, but so what if your kids are healthy and safe.
2006-11-25 03:02:53 · answer #2 · answered by Meesh 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
maybe he needs some discipline!!!
The kids will run all over you if they know that all they need to do is run to Dad.
Dad needs to be sat down in his own "time out" and talked to about the problem. If he feels like he is threatened, then the problem will just get worse. Are there respect issues in the home?
Parents are a team, if one player sits on the bench the team loses. Set rules you will both agree on an stick to them no matter what.
2006-11-25 03:05:19 · answer #3 · answered by lil' angel 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
IN PRIVATE....you should talk to your husband....No matter how old your kids are you should avoid arguing in front of them. You need to make a compromise and tell him what you are trying to do for the children and what you are trying to teach them. He needs to understand that teens cannot be given such a free run of things. You need to ask him to learn to stand his ground, and he needs to tell the kids that your punishment stands and that he cannot do anything about it. Also, he should be explaining to them that your punishments are reasonable and that he agrees. They need to learn that WHINING is not the answer to get what they want!! And your husband needs to know that he is creating a bad habit by always giving in!!
2006-11-25 03:39:25 · answer #4 · answered by Cblack22 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
take and tell would he like to see his children in jail one day.if your their with them all the time take aday or so off let him do it all and then he might understand why your discipline them i mean if he let,s them go wild then make him clean the mess up to,also tell him he should.t be trying to buy there love if he would look at it that's what it is so the kids will not have hard feeling about he will let them get away with a lot good luck with hard head dad.
2006-11-25 03:17:01 · answer #5 · answered by cookie sue 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes...I have the same problem! I tell my husband if he only wants to be involved some of the time...then he doesn't want to be involved at all! If that is the case...then he shouldn't have a say so at all! He is either all in or not at all!
2006-11-25 03:45:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I thought dads got better as kids got older...ugggh...I guess I am wrong...my hubby is ALWAYS undermining my authority...and my kid knows it...
will there ever be any relief? LOL
2006-11-25 03:02:30 · answer #7 · answered by Becca 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
LOL I yell at my hubby. Then the kids listen to me lol. Good luck!
2006-11-25 03:00:21 · answer #8 · answered by sweet_n_sassy_girl4 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Send him to time out.
2006-11-25 04:01:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
beat him! no but seriously just tell him either he starts backing you up or else....
2006-11-25 02:59:38 · answer #10 · answered by terrellsmomma 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋