I am 18 never had a girl friend as a matter of fact i have never even had just a friendship from a girl. Yeh all my guys friend find it odd and they have even questioned my sexuality but the facts are facts i just get 2 nervice around women. I dont know what to say how to act. Yes women have been interested in me in the past be my anxity has took over this part of my life. WHAT should i do.
2006-11-25 02:52:22 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First you need realize that girls are just people too. We may have different interests, anatomy, and thought processes, but we are human just like you. Second you need to ask yourself what is seemingly a ridiculous question: if you go up to a girl, initiate a conversation, and the worst happens, what does the "worst" actually entail? Will this girl, or her and her friends come after you and beat you with sticks? Odds are strongly against this, in fact I've never heard of it happening ( unless you plan on doing something REALLY nasty, not just talk ). Would the worst entail that this single female you have chosen to talk to doesn't like you and that as a result you will be blacklisted by all females everywhere? Hell no, girls think for themselves, and we don't have some secret underground society where we decide that any certain guy is "unworthy" or whatever. Or would the worst entail that this girl simply doesn't like you, or perhaps laughs at you? Well, this could happen, but its an isolated incident, with no long standing repercussions in your life. Seriously. And if something like this were to happen it wouldn't even mean anything bad about you. Some girls like some guys, some girls like others. Its up to you to realize that it doesn't really matter if things don't work out with all girls all the time.
I'd also like to mention that dating and girls isn't something you have to take so seriously that you get this paralized by it. Its meant to be fun and it is fun, it isn't something you have to get right the first time or any time to be able to enjoy it and benefit from it. We're all learning. We all have fears. We all want company.
So back to the first thing I mentioned about getting beaten with sticks: If you are not going to encounter any physical harm which may hospitalize you and prevent you from living your life, or if something isn't going to KILL you to try, then there is no reason no to. Life will always go on no matter what happens otherwise, and you will have the ability to fix it, or make it better. Things change, that's the beauty of life, and so do you. So change this fear laden attitude and get out there, the worst that I can really see happening is that you meet a great girl and have some fun, and if it doesn't work out you can always move on a little wiser from the experience. And remember, one, or even many bad experiences, are all isolated incidences (for the most part) so don't be discouraged if something goes wrong, pick up and get back out there!
2006-11-25 03:14:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth is that you never get anywhere's without trying. You have got to just take a chance and ask someone out. I can imagine how difficult this ordeal must be for you. My brother is kinda the same way, but he has had some gf's. They were the ones that initiated the relationship though. Find a group of people that are more outgoing and maybe a chick will like you and she will do the asking out. I have always found it easier for me to pursue a man if I had something to take the edge off. For me in the past alcohol was a effective way for me to be outgoing when the goal was to hook up with someone. I'm not telling you to turn into an alcoholic, I'm just saying that if you ever hang out with friends and some girls that you would like to date, drink a little to get buzzed it can sometimes calm your nerves down or just make you forget about the possibility of getting rejected. Which I bet that is why you don't ask girls out. You don't like to be rejected do you? It's okay, no one does, but hey you have got to get over it if you want the chance to find someone to date and possibly marry someday. Just take a chance and loosen up!!!
Good Luck!
2006-11-25 03:07:26 · answer #2 · answered by mama4e 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop worrying about how to act. Stop worrying about how your friends view you. My eldest son is like you in that at 20 he has had two girlfriends. He does not date. He is friends with a lot of girls, but he does not enter into relationship lightly. His brother is always taunting him about his sexuality. I certainly don't think he is gay. And I would certainly not love him any less if he were. I just think he is choosy about who he hooks up with.
You may just be one of those guys who has to get to know the girl well before making that kind of commitment. You are also the type who will wear his heart of his sleeve and probably get hurt pretty bad on the first few break-ups. But it is all a part of life.
Basically, decide that you want to stay single. When you do that the onus is taken off of you. You can then feel free to be "friends" with girls. After that, the rest will just flow.
know that it sounds really "pat" to just say, "be yourself". But that is the key to it all.
2006-11-25 03:48:21 · answer #3 · answered by diane_b_33594 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was also like that "in my youth" it is only after my first girlfriend that I realised how stupid it is to be shy ! Do you know that what you want - a Girlfriend - is EXACTLY the same thing girls want - a Boyfriend - but traditionnaly the boy has to ask her out - unfortunatlely it was and still is I guess !
If a girl says no - dont't worry it is not rejection, look at the girl next, her smile is getting bigger as the chances of having you have just doubled
From that moment I had no problems finding girlfriends !
2006-11-25 03:00:24 · answer #4 · answered by bordasimus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you so worried about? Yes I'm going to admit it some of us girls aren't perfect either (lol). You just have to learn to relax think to yourself you can't do anything that some1 else hasn't always done its ok to be nervous but just think about all the other guys in the world that are nervous too and the girls are just as nervous actually i think we have more to be nervous about because we are seen as perfect with our hair and make up and weight .Just go with the flow and remember its not that big of a deal because the girl is just as nervous. Don't be afraid to be yourself it will pay off. Your young still so just keep putting yourself in social situations for as long as you can stand it without anxiety getting in the way just keep telling yourself it isn't so bad and try to ignore the anxiety the more you dwell on it the worse it becomes.Good Luck :)
2006-11-25 03:04:36 · answer #5 · answered by Kelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first..dont think too hard if they will be interested or not. Just be yourself. Like you said girls are interested in you bcos they find you interesting. Take that as a fact or even as evidence and chill. Learn to relax around girls and smile as if you are least bothered about any problems in life. Make them beleive that you are comfortable with yourself. That should do the trick.
2006-11-25 02:59:59 · answer #6 · answered by Ms.Sinclaire 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats so cute!!!!!!
one day you'll find a girl that makes you comfortable enough for you to be yourself, and then you'll know shes the right one! and it'll be great.
theres no need to worry. you're only 18. theres girls out there just like you too.
ok so maybe you can "practice" by becoming friends with another girl who seems really shy like you. someone who doesn't intimidate you! you need to talk to a girl so you can realize that we're really not anything to be nervous around! but you can't go for a girl who's a nut! go for someone that seems quiet and nice. girls around your age can be a little insecure, and because of this they can say nutty things, and maybe these nutty things is what is making you nervous. but just realize that when girls say weird stuff it usually has nothing to do with you, but everything to do with them.
2006-11-25 03:01:36 · answer #7 · answered by Liza128 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they are in many situations in simple terms lonely or not lonely,worrying those who love animals and do not have the middle to practice away strays.there ought to nicely be some who're loopy,yet,howdy, all people must be loopy.And different people have different critiques on what loopy is.as an party,some people may imagine you're loopy.LOL and with the help of ways,i'm the dictionary woman
2016-11-26 21:26:19 · answer #8 · answered by marcy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember that us girls are human just like you and we do get nervous ourselves; its human. Relax, hitch on friendly smile, a friendly look and say hello for starters. If it happens that some says kiss-off make a side joke about it to yourself of course and move on to the next until you get the response you're looking for.
2006-11-25 03:00:49 · answer #9 · answered by Laela (Layla) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gain some confidence in yourself, if you can hold a conversation with a male friend, you can hold a conversation with a female. They are also nervous. this is human behavior to be nervous when you first meet someone especially if you are attracted to them. Just calm down and be yourself, you will be fine. Good luck and God bless****
2006-11-25 02:57:19 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋