My daughter walked into my bedroom yesterday after I got off work. I am a nurse and had to work late. She was talking to me on the bed, and I needed to change clothes but she would not leave. I rarely wear underwear and my daughter did not know that, and I was wearing my scrubs. I needed to change so I just stripped out of my scrubs, and changed into some jeans and a t-shirt. I thought I guess she is old enough to know now. Well she found out. She said "Mom, you are not wearing underwear". I told her, "I never do. It is more comfortable without them for me." It was a little embarrassing to say the least because it was also the first time she had seen me naked. When she was very young, I could walk around the house naked and did not have to be so cautious. Now it is just us girls around the house. She said that she might try going without underwear, too. I told her that it is her decision, and that she could try it. Am I wrong for letting this happen and being more open?
2006-11-25 02:43:49 · 24 answers · asked by Stephanie W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, you are not wrong. It is good to be open and honest with your children. I think I was about fourteen when I pretty much stopped wearing them. If I needed to go to the doctor or it was "that time of month" I would use them. But there is nothing more unattractive than panty lines under a woman's clothes. Or women who wear panties with their panty-hose! For heaven's sake, why do they think the things are called pantyhose? Or why they have a cotton gusset?
My daughter is now going on thirty, and we are still as open and honest as when she was a child. She knows that I will always give her a straight answer. And there is literally nothing that she does not discuss with me.
My sons are much the same way. They both know that there is nothing they cannot discuss with me. It amazes their friends what they can, and do, discuss with me.
If she wants to try going without panties, let her. She may like it or she may find that it is not her cup of tea. You are going to have much tougher issues to deal with her than this. You want an open line of communication.
2006-11-25 02:52:46 · answer #1 · answered by diane_b_33594 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I probably wouldn't have undressed in front of her, but now that the cat is out of the bag, I don't suppose there's any harm in her not wearing underwear, unless you're worried that she might stain her clothes during menstruation, or something. I go "freebird" myself, and it is definitely the most comfortable option. However, I don't undress in front of my two daughters, and sometimes I wear boxers around the house if I don't feel like getting dressed.
It also depends on her chest size. Is she big enough that it would look trampy to NOT wear a bra?
2006-11-25 02:48:19 · answer #2 · answered by Stretchy McSlapNuts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's my thought on this Stephanie. Kids can smell BS from a mile away, especially at your daughter's age. If you would have made up an excuse about it, or told her she couldn't do it, she'd have seen through it, and it'd have made her more curious. By being honest and open, you've taken the allure away from the idea and just made it what it is, which is a personal decision about comfort...
I think it's better for her to feel that way, than to end up wondering who her mom was trying to impress or something.
You handled it fine.
2006-11-25 02:53:13 · answer #3 · answered by Offended? Aww Have a Cookie! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think u should make her wear underwear. If it was my 13 year old daughter, she would not have the option. It is what I say or nothing at all. If she decides to not wear underwear when she gets older, then thats diffrent.
2006-11-25 05:40:27 · answer #4 · answered by terrence s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good lord,,,,whats the big deal?????....My daughter is 21 now, but we have always had an open honest relationship....We dont walk around butt naked in front of each other,,,but we can talk about anything......We even had the same conversation you'all had about 4 yrs ago. Its not a sin to go without drawers.....lots of people do it......Wait till you have the conversation about shaving.....other things than pitts and legs.......GOOD LUCK
2006-11-25 02:49:27 · answer #5 · answered by Lrn'dTheHardWay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, in my humble opinion, underwear are overrated. i never bother with them either. If your daughter doesn't wish to wear underwear, then it's up to her, but i'd make a few rules about that like wear undies with a dress. never know if something unexpected might happen and the world gets a view that she'd perfer they not get.
2006-11-25 03:00:22 · answer #6 · answered by dread pirate lavenderbeard 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey! If it's good enough for you then why wouldn't it be okay for her as well. Just be open about any repercussions that could occur while she is at school. For example, if she's wearing a dress, shouldn't she be wearing underwear???
2006-11-25 02:47:31 · answer #7 · answered by the_pharaoh109 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, not at all. She should feel free doing what she is comfortable doing. And opening up a small conversation like this will make her feel more open to ask the more difficult questions later on.
2006-11-25 02:48:11 · answer #8 · answered by Casey N. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People may disagree with me here but I think it's really ok. It's important to teach girls that we are ok with our bodies. No shame=a gain for women.
She, on the other hand, needs to wear underwear.
2006-11-25 02:47:04 · answer #9 · answered by donewiththismess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with letting your daughter know what makes you comfortable. She will figure it out for herself as she is growing and changing. Honesty is best when explaining things to your daughter. If you are open with her, then she will be with you too.
2006-11-25 02:46:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋