He is angry and won't talk to me because I "kicked out" an abusive freeloader after six months of Hell. I did what I did for my own sanity, but my son thinks it was wrong. Now, how do I "win back" my son, or should I just accept his "angry silence". He wouldn't even listen to my side of the story which is not fair to me.
2006-11-25 02:35:56 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The person I had to "kick out" wasn't a "date", and my son doesn't live with me. He's in his 20's, and lives with his father.
2006-11-25 02:43:24 · update #1
let him stew, he'll come round to your way of thinking when he understands what the world is about, sorry to say it, but he sounds immature, maybe he needs to go through the same situation to understand what you went through......
2006-11-25 02:39:55 · answer #1 · answered by Mintjulip 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Some people have no sense of reason and are just irrational. To me, someone who is irrational is mental. When a person is like that, there is nothing you can do. If your son is in his twenties, let him come to you when he matures. (hopefully that won't be when he is in his 40's).
It was your house and your sanity, not to mention your MONEY.
Your son is grown, tell him to let the freeloader come and stay with him even if he does live with his father. See how long the father will let that go on his house.
This also sounds like a case of, no matter what you do, your son is going to he angry with you anyway. Maybe he enjoyed seeing you going through it because of someone living on you that you did not want to be there.
This probably has nothing to do with the freeloader being kicked out. Maybe this an on going problem between you and your son. Was it a case where you let someone else live in your house and you son felt he should have been the one living there and instead he was at his dad's house???????
Watching you go through hell with the freeloader just made his day and felt that is what you deserve. It is deeper than the freeloader. . . . . . . . . Try to get to the bottom of it.
2006-11-25 03:19:30 · answer #2 · answered by geminisista 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Our children's opinions of us are important, but we cannot live our lives according to their wishes. We will make mistakes. Apparently, your son formed some kind of bond with this man, and feels betrayed. He will get over it.
No woman should have to live in an abusive relationship. I don't care if the man is the actual father of the kid! It is not a healthy environment to raise a kid in.
Stop trying to give your son an explanation. When he eventually breaks up with a girlfriend you partularly liked, or a wife who you came to love, he sure won't feel you need an explanation.
He is going to simply have to come to grips with the situation. You are his mother, you provide for his well being. All you can do is love him. But stop trying to justify yourself to him. You don't owe him an explanation. And he is not in the mood to hear it right now anyway. You don't have to win back your son. I know it feels like you have lost him. But you have not. He is just punishing you because he feels you have deprived him of something he wanted. Do not give him the satisfaction of seeing that it is working. Just keep you actions and tone of voice regular. He will eventually get over it.
2006-11-25 02:44:18 · answer #3 · answered by diane_b_33594 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You don't need to win back anything. Tell him that all of the decisions you make are for the well being of you and him. You should try not to date anyone else. Kids are put in these situations and they shouldn't have to be. Your child should be your #1 priority not your dating life. You will find if you don't date and give all of your attention to him which he deserves since you aren't with his father. Children should never have to compete for love and attention from a parent.
2006-11-25 02:40:44 · answer #4 · answered by Julie J 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Give him time to calm down but let him know that you will not take the blame for ending a bad relationship. I am sure he will come to his senses and see that you did what you had to do
2006-11-25 03:05:20 · answer #5 · answered by Eileen 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know you really want to say your peace right now, I know I would want to, But I would let him come to me and then when he does just tell him that whoever it was taking advantage of you and him and that you did what was you thought was best. Good luck.
2006-11-25 02:41:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
just explain to him what happened and why you put him out just make him understand what the problem was until he understands cause what i hear he thinks your the bad person?
2006-11-25 02:40:57 · answer #7 · answered by luoontoonyh 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You don't try to win him back. This was your choice and not his. He has to learn to accept your decision.
2006-11-25 02:38:16 · answer #8 · answered by redwidow 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
give it time, u did what u had to do , ive been there many times and eventually he'll come around
2006-11-25 02:39:02 · answer #9 · answered by ♥ gina ♥ 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋