my 8 month old daughter is very afraid of men. Is that normal?

Question

she basically panics when men enter a room, talk to her or look at her

Answer 1

Some babies are like this. Especially if she doesnt see her dad often.

She needs more exposure and pleasant interaction with men. Put some male family members and friends in her life, and help her realize that she's just as safe and secure when theyre around as not.

Answer 2

While I am not a doctor I would think this is not a normal thing. Baby's at that age have not had time to learn fear unless they have had a good reason to. There is no rational thought behind this it is purely emotional.

Every person is different.....even at this age.....but for the most part this does not seem normal.

If her first experience with a man involved pain in any way then I would expect her to be this way.

Did you have a lot of trouble with her after birth. Did she have health problems? Had to be in the hospital for any reason longer than most baby's would. She could be associating men with being stuck with a needle and then not comforted. Something like that.

Look back over those last 8 months. What could have happened to her that involved pain and could it have been a man involved. Even a doctor. Even if the pain were necessary becasues of her health she could not know that. If she has no father then to offset that.....well.....this could happen.

Are you married? If so your husband needs to begin being very close to her. He needs to start slow. Always talk to her is a soothing and loving voice. Then if she begins to be less afraid of him begin to feed her....dress her....change her. All these kinds of things will perhaps bring back the trust she needs for men.

If your not married try to have some male friend do this for her.
It would be a horrible thing if she does not outgrow this. You must try to find and fix this if you can.

Answer 3

Get down on her level, look at they difference between men an women. women smell good, look better, and talk to children different. We are smaller(in general) to men, non threatening. My 5 yr old was that way until a year ago. There isn't any abuse, not even an issue. She's not around alot of men,so sometimes, it's just what they are exposed to. Keep an eye on it and I'll bet you will see, if you don't push it, before you know it she will "grow" out of it. I hope I hear from you in 15 years, when you will be asking" how to I keep my 16 year old away from men?"
......all in fun

Answer 4

I am taking psychology right now in school and we just finished the unit on child development. One of the terms we learned is Stranger Anxiety which is when children, begining at 8 months old, fear stragers and people that they are not used to. So don't worry, your daughter is EXACTLY on schedule!
It usually is more men that the child (especially girls) feels anxiety over because infants are generally with their mother more and therefore feel more comfortable around women, it is just a natural instinct.
Hope this helps!

Answer 5

My daughter has a thing against men with full beards. I think it's just something babies develop if they aren't around someone who looks a certain way. My daughter is around men with some facial hair but not much and then she met a friend of her grandparents with a full beard and was a little off with him the entire night. She wasn't molested by a bearded man btw in response to one of the other responses. She doesn't ever spend anytime with anyone with a beard so I just assume it's because it's something she's not used to.

Answer 6

My daughter is 2 and she still has trouble with new people. It is not just men, some women, but mostly men. She has gotten better with it as she gets older, and my doctor told me she will out grow it with time and experiences. I have noticed it has a lot to do with the persons voice. If they have a loud or gruff voice that is when she cried the most. Watch when you baby get panicky and see if you can find a similarity in the people she has that reaction to.

Answer 7

My doctor was pleased to hear when my child was afraid of men (strangers in general, but mostly men). He said it was perfectly normal, and a sign of a good defense mechanism. One of my kids was so scared of her "Uncle Pete" (who was never left unsupervised - for the person thinking CSA!) until he started reading to her. For some reason, this made a bond that can never be broken, and they have a great relationship now!

Men smell different - men are not soft, men have no common sense (Uncle Pete lets the babies do things like run in church or watch violent movies)...

Answer 8

yah. She's just suffering from the normal separation anxiety most children have at this age. My little one was more anxious around men than women as well. I think that's because I stay home with her and she's used to having a woman around. The only men she warmed up to were the one's who resembled her daddy. Short dark hair and a mustache. She'd still scream but calm down a little faster. Your little one will outgrow this in the next 6 months or so.

Answer 9

Its not normal...unfortunately someone around (a man) musta done something to her..yea i kno shes only 8 months. But as early as 5 months, something can change a child quickly. And its not normal for her to be scared of men at such a young age unless harm was done. From 5 months up to 24 months, thats when a baby learns whats good and whats bad from experience. They will learn not to stick fingers in socket by experience or...in your situation she learned not to like men by an experience

Answer 10

It could go either way. With no evidence of tampering or damage to her vagina and you are never away from her for more thana few minutes I would say that you could be safe with the assumption that it is not because of molestation.

My daughter whent through the same stage, even my sons but not as bad. Preferring women, even female strangers to my company and would act as if the world would fall apart if I wanted to hold them. Being suspicious and distant. I even wondered if my child had been violated but my child was around nobody but my wife and I, or at daycare. I spent more time with her but it was just hard for her to warm up at that age but now she is a daddy's girl. I view it as a stage. Even though the rejection from your own child hurts. It is not intentional. Majority of the bonding was done my my wife, I could have stepped up a bit more and she could have included me a bit more but it's a phase that they outgrow around 18-24 months. Dads are usually around less (working) and they are usually the disciplinarians so those two together could be factors that contribute to it.

Moms nurture and are the pillar of grace and grant every wish. Dads seem to only change poopy diapers and raise thier voice or spank thier bottom when the child needs discipline but has not bonded with the child as much for re-assurance so he seems like a mean-meanie that won't give them what they want. Many dads are as dedicated as moms but show thier love in more intangible ways. Buying most everything in a store to anticipate the needs of the child, working tons of hours to provide a better life for his family or get a promotion, going the extra mile for the family in many other areas, buying a bigger car (or second car) he can't afford to kake life easier for his wife and or kids, works a second job to keep mom at home with the baby.

Kids don't see these things they just know mom is the one to feed and change thier diapers but no love to dad who slaved to make money available to buy all of these things. Dads should tak a deep breath and know that thier kids love them but just be patient and keep doing the good things in addition to spending some (not just diaper, nap or feeding time) everday to bond ith the child as not to overwhelm the dad or the child.