We're stuck here and could use any advice out there. He is almost 15 and has been seeing this girl who messes with his head and treats him poorly. My instinct is to keep them separated but I fear that will backfire. I try to have their hang out time around my house but that's not really working (what am I doing??). I hate to see her hurting him. I've tried to talk to her mother but she is as flighty as they come. I know it sounds unreasonable, but I want this girl GONE. Anyone been through this?
2006-11-25 01:52:52 · 11 answers · asked by donewiththismess 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Specifics: 1. He and she told people they were not dating and were just friends--at her request 2. Tells her mom they are just friends--tells him they are dating 3. Makes plans with him and he gets excited then she calls at the last minute and cancels 4. Talks to him badly 5. Asks him to call and then isnt around when he does 6. Broke up with him for another boy and then when he was moving on, moved back in on him again...Its making me so mad just typing this!!!
2006-11-25 02:05:14 · update #1
Your son is unfortunately learning the hard way,let her carry on as she is because eventually he will get fed up with her,its just difficult for you as his mum to stand back and watch.You should just be there to support him,ask him if he's alright or what's he been up to,he'll probably open up if you speak like a friend and not his mum,giving you the chance to give him advice, cos if you say anything he doesn't want to hear it will like you said 'backfire'
Good luck mum of 3 teenagers.
2006-11-25 02:51:49 · answer #1 · answered by Countess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I have and unless you want to alienate your son totally let him go through this you trying to stop will only make it worse maybe she is the first girl he been with or she does something for him no other girl did before been there done that. In my case it playe ditself out when she ask my son to do something which he wont tell me to this day and he said no and she got mad so he broke up with her and we were all happy about that. But stand back and wait watch closely if nothing else it will go away on its own.
2006-11-25 01:59:10 · answer #2 · answered by toofavorable 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have been through this my self and felt the same way that you are feeling right now. you were right if you try to stop them from seeing each other it will back fire.you said that you try to have them hang out at your house, but did not say why it is not working out.if it is because something they are doing so that they are not hanging out at your house. then put an end to it. tell him and her both if they are going to keep seeing each other then they are to hang out at your house or not at all. if you find him sneaking off to see her else where then punish him for being sneaky. the cold hard facts are, your son is allowing this girl to do this to him, and he might even allow the next girl to do the same. as parents are hands are tied. girls are going to come and go in your sons life. we may not always agree with their choices, but we do need to be there to pick up the pieces. by the way, when him and this girl don't work out please don't say i told you so. just be there to listen when he wants to talk.
2006-11-25 02:11:37 · answer #3 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, went through it from the other side. The problem is the kid thinks he's got to take the crap to get the rewards and he doesn't. Reassure him that he's valuable, loveable, worthwhile, capable and ask him about his feelings for her and react with sympathy but absolutely NO judgement. Eventually, he'll get the picture and realize he's being had. Guess what? The girl is messed up for a reason and it's her parents that did it to her so you won't get any help there.
2006-11-25 01:58:11 · answer #4 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm sorry to hear that, this can be tricky, because a woman has power over men when it comes to something we want like sex, and even know it's not right it can be a great motvator. The best thing I can say is not to yell or argue to him about this , but teach him what a relationship is suppose to be like and it would be best if the one teaching him is a man, a father, pastor or someone he looks up to. Men my not want to say we need other men in our lifes, but we do. We some times need thier agressive manner, to push us in line. I wish you the best.
2006-11-25 02:07:41 · answer #5 · answered by adam t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK i have a son the same age and this is what of done,first explain to him about trailer park trash girls.men do not let women push them around,it makes them sissy's and then since her mother is a fruit cake you have to take things in your own hands,your going to have to be a *****,tell her you don't like her and not even on her best day will she date your son .and stand your ground.your son will get mad but it's all worth it in the end .
2006-11-25 02:51:12 · answer #6 · answered by jen j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A 14 year old is still a child and you are his mother. Put your foot down! If he doesn't follow your rules you need to BACKFIRE his tail to a lengthy grounding. He may get angry but it's for his own good.
2006-11-25 02:00:59 · answer #7 · answered by lucy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you can work this problem out through your son. Try getting him around nicer girls or a different crowd of folks. You don't have to be sneaky about it either.
2006-11-25 02:12:29 · answer #8 · answered by tjjone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to get him around some nicer girls. Take him places with you to meet your friends daughters and such. When he finds someone better he will leave her. He is happy to get her attention just needs to find him someone better to get the attention from. If him and her are already having relations then it will take a bit (good arguement between them) to split them up.
2006-11-25 01:58:43 · answer #9 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is she is very beutiful , tell him how the kind of man he is, no man could bare insult for a girl
2006-11-25 02:00:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋