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I live with my mom i feel like theres some kind of competition or something for my son's attention maybe thats just me but when i try to handle something my mom comes and tries to help makes me feel inadequate to handle the situation. her husband says that she feels almsost like a mom to him which bothers me cause she is not his mom and i dont want that at all.

2006-11-25 01:39:51 · 9 answers · asked by David R 1 in Family & Relationships Family

9 answers

Well, she will always be your mom, she's in "mom mode". Think of it this way-- you son benefits from an extended family situation. You would miss that support if it wasn't there and so would your son.
I'm sure it gets annoying sometimes but try and see where she is coming from --she is only trying to be helpful.

2006-11-25 01:42:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Hi, I don't think your mother realize what she is doing. It is just natural to her to step in and help. I guess she may feel she has to help. Sit her down and have a gentle talk with her and tell her that sometimes you would like to do things for your son on your own. Don't be too tough with her because really when you think of it she Is a big help to you at the moment. If you go out i would think she is your sons baby sitter etc. If you have he talk with her I'm sure she will step back a little. She is just being your mom and a great Grandma.

2006-11-25 01:58:53 · answer #2 · answered by angel 2 · 0 0

I think there is definitely a fine line that needs to be drawn between parent and child. If you live at home, they will see you as theirs :o) But you are an adult and need to be treated as one. If you wish to give your child an appropriate set of boundaries ( because what they are exposed to is what will make them who they are- you don't want your son acting like your mom, attaching to the wrong things...) then it looks like it might be time to find a place of your own. Decide if the benefits of being at home outweight the negative points of being on your own with your son in tow. He might not fare as well without the g'parents. But YOU get to make the choice for both of you. Good luck!

2006-11-25 01:49:27 · answer #3 · answered by Jennnifer The Magnificent 1 · 0 0

Parents have a hard time treating thier children like adults when they live at home. Your situation isn't unique in terms of your relationship with your mother. It can blur the lines for your son as well, he will know that she is his grandmother, but how will he see you. You'll be his father but will you be treated like a father. Will your son respect you as a father with your mother always stepping on your feet, probably not. Its probably best to not live with your mother, but that may not be possible. Moving out is the best option but other than that some parenting boundaries need to be established with your mother.

2006-11-25 01:45:26 · answer #4 · answered by cannoninthehouse 2 · 0 0

You need to find a place of your own. Your mom is trying to feel in for the missing mother and that is not her job. She needs to understand that you can take of your son and that she is the grandmother and that is all. I know that the free help is grate but, it looks like your mom is trying to go to far with it. If you don't stop it soon it will be harder later and make it harder to have a normal relationship with your mother.

2006-11-25 01:48:07 · answer #5 · answered by ranchforman57 2 · 0 0

it is always hard to be seen an adult and authority figure when you are under your mother's roof but are still that child's parent! you have to talk to your mother and explain to her how her interference confuses your son and diminishes your position with him. let her know you appreciate her input and know she means no harm but you must insist that she respect your wishes on this matter. good luck!

2006-11-25 01:53:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

tell your mom that your glad she helps you so much but you would like to try and manage more thing's for yourself, after all she is only trying to help you no matter how frustrating this may seem at time's.

2006-11-25 01:47:56 · answer #7 · answered by hedgehog 4 · 0 0

Your issue is which you're spoiled and lazy and prefer some else to be in charge for looking after you. maximum folk are not jealous as you think of. They view you as immature and irresponsible to prefer you mothers and fathers (at their age) to be in charge for you at 30 years previous. purely as you think of this is senseless to flow, they do no longer see the relevance of you staying and leeching off center-elderly mothers and fathers. Your reasons are self inspired, no longer for the coolest of your mothers and fathers. You all (siblings) ought to be working and contributing to the coolest of the enjoyed ones and your mothers and fathers, as a replace of bleeding their wallet dry. would not be counted in the event that they are in a position to arise with the money for it or no longer, what concerns is this is money that could want for use for them to a pair issues for themselves. you could maintain the closeness inclusive of your loved ones jointly as residing on your person. You talk of saving them money once you're surely saving your self money. it is your duty to look after your self, as an person, no longer your mothers and fathers. they could desire to be at a factor the place they are in a position to loosen up and do regardless of they pick without the further rate of taking good care of their grown offspring. so a approaches as your degree is in contact, what's incorrect with working and determining to purchase it your self. in case you're training a expert degree you're degreed already and could make a good volume of money. regardless of in case you mandatory help and your mothers and fathers contributed on your training may be extra useful than making them in charge for you. You and your siblings could desire to enhance up. you ought to examine your posting lower back, maybe you will see how IMMATURE and egocentric it sounds. and additionally you ask why you get unfavourable comments......... improve Up!!!

2016-10-17 12:33:07 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

can you afford to move? try to move asap. it's really bad when you live with the grandparents cause they just get involved with everything trust me i know. good luck

2006-11-25 03:26:35 · answer #9 · answered by lady luck 3 · 0 0

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