Mt 20 year old daughter has started a 'friendship' with a 59 year old man from her previous workplace. She hasn't really had a proper boyfriend yet and I am worried that she is rushing into this with a man that is clearly too old for her. She says that the enjoy each others company and are starting to have feelings for each other. I have tried yelling and cryng and anything else I could think off....I even went and spoke to hime about it and told him he was too old for her. He agreed and said that he would not take the realtionship any further but the next day they were back on again. I don't know what to do. Should I just relax and ignore it and see if it fizzles out or lock her into her bedroom and only release her when he is too old to worry about?????????
The other complication is that his wife died in February of this year and it seems too soon for anyone to be thinking of starting a new relationship - I think so anyway.
What do you think?
Please HELP.........
2006-11-25 00:30:46 · 16 answers · asked by sal-your pal 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Is he wealthy? What do you think the attraction is? At 20, she is old enough to be making decisions for herself.....you've given her guidance, but now she has to make that decision.
What would worry me is WHY she is attracted to older men. Often it is because of a previous molestation by an older man. Is that a possibility? If so, I would suggest some serious counseling by a professional....NOT clergy type....they would just continue the problem.
2006-11-25 00:36:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It must be shocking for a parent to see their daughter doing this, but at the same time, she is 20 years old, and pretty much an adult. If this is what she wants to do, she is obviously getting something out of the relationship. When I was about 20 years old I knew a girl that got involved with a guy that old, she even moved in with him. However, she soon got tired of the relationship and moved on. I think you are just going to have to let your daughter live her life and hope for the best. But at the same time, don't be shy about giving her your advice as a person more experienced in the world.
2006-11-25 08:35:59 · answer #2 · answered by niko 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not a problem maybe for you but sooner or later it will fizzle out when I was 23 my so called boyfriend was 56. I was kinda in a funk back then didnt know where I was going and stuff like that so I prayed and ask God to send me someone to help me understand things better and he did this for me show me a little attention got in good with my kids and my family and then one day it happened. He tried to play daddy on me so I left and never went back. So back off and leave her alone she will let it go in her own time. Besides you know the more you tell her no,no,no the more she is gonna do it dont you know by now thats how kids are?
2006-11-25 08:36:36 · answer #3 · answered by toofavorable 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hiya!! ive got 2 daughters and know how protective us mothers are!! but times have changed!! age is no longer a problem nowadays..I do agree that it is a bit soon from his wife dying.......but your daughters 20 years of age...she is old enough and of legal age to do as she pleases!! im feel sorry for you,and dread the day when my daughters are old enough!!! the only thing i can suggest is do wot im going to do....let them live the real world,and always be there for them!! a child always needs there mother,so don't despair when all goes wrong she'll look on u for the support..dont hate or disown her..we all make mistakes in life..and we all have to start some where!!! good luck x
2006-11-25 08:41:12 · answer #4 · answered by chick07 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think she is a little too old to be locked in her room. And yes he is extremely old for her age. But if they just started as friends and aren't even sleeping together yet, then maybe this guy really cares for her and respects her and the relationship has a chance to prosper.
2006-11-25 08:40:34 · answer #5 · answered by ProudToBeWhite 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats like gross, I bet he's buying her loads of cr@p. The whole father thing is bit creepy. I bet he loves it this young nubile girl, fawning over him. I just have a horrible feeling she's going to get hurt, he's probably looking for a bit of fun. Shes 20 and legally is an adult, I obviosuly dont know what shes like but shes not doing it to spite/wind you up after all your crying etc?? I just hope shes mature enough to realise in a relationship where you not planning kids having pill jabs and using condoms are the usual.
2006-11-25 08:40:12 · answer #6 · answered by budda m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a sad situation, but your daughter is 20 and that means she can do what she wants. I agree with you, the guy is too old for her and is taking advantage of her immaturity.
The only thing you can do is let them know how you feel, and let her know you will be there for her should things go wrong.
2006-11-25 08:34:39 · answer #7 · answered by L L 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should mind your own business. Your daughter is an adult and will make her own choices. (good or bad)
You can't protect her forever, no matter how much you want to. She must experience life and all it has to offer in order to grow as a person.
2006-11-25 08:36:58 · answer #8 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let her try the experience in getting involve with older man,sometimes younger women like to be involve to mature men .they feel more secure and loved
2006-11-25 08:37:16 · answer #9 · answered by weng 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think this is really wrong for your daughter. shes getting involved with a man who has to be as old as her father. try talking to her, bring her to some sense. talk with that man and give him a last warning. we agree he has lost his wife, but that doesnt mean he hits on such young girls
2006-11-25 08:35:44 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋