Obviously God should be first. I know that, but my boyfriend broke up with me a little over a week ago. Basically, he said he would stop talking to his ex, but then changed his mind because they share mutual friends. He spent a whole day trying to work that out in his mind. He told me he couldn't choose between those friends and me. I was foolish and asked him if he had to choose, who would he choose? He couldn't make the choice. Then when he broke up, he said he could never even hypothetically choose "someone else" over them. Basically, I'm just "someone else" to him.
I got back together with him and I still love him, but I can't put my trust into him completely because of those words. We had talked about marriage, spending our lives together, and when it came down to it, I was just "someone else."
Should someone who is going to be your wife be second-best to your friends? Would he change his views if we were married? If we had kids?
2006-11-25 00:28:04 · 11 answers · asked by New mommy 2010! 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's not that it can't co-exist, it's just the fact that I will never be important enough to him, or as important as them. He broke up with me because it was easier to lose me/break my heart than to lose a friend.
2006-11-25 00:34:41 · update #1
I *have* friends of my own, but I wouldn't choose them over him, my potential husband.
2006-11-25 00:35:30 · update #2
You shouldnt be second to his friends but you were kinda wrong for asking him to choose. Why try to build a relationship on that?
2006-11-25 00:32:20 · answer #1 · answered by toofavorable 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just got out of a very similar 5 month relationship. My boyfriend's ex called all the time over trivial things, this was the second relationship she had broke up. I really do not blame her. If he was man enough and loved as he said he did, he would have put me ahead of her and his friends. It is not that he had to chose and cut all ties, but a little respect and a feel of appreciation would have been nice. Do what you want but, i would get out. I know where it is headed. And from what you are saying, it is not that far away. Don't waste anymore time
2006-11-25 08:48:29 · answer #2 · answered by shyone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
getting married and/or having kids won't change his opinion! He has to think YOU are number one before you marry him - Don't make that mistake!!
How about you joining him with his group of friends? Even if his ex is around you can show that you don't care and be confident and by his side when he spends time with his friends. "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!" Maybe he didn't mean what he said to sound like the way you took it.
People still need to have friends even when they are with the person they want to marry. You have to trust him and make some friends of your own!
2006-11-25 08:34:30 · answer #3 · answered by Scorpio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Might be around the first few months but after that of with the friends here there everywhere If you can take that go for it its better to have loved in vain than to have never loved at all
2006-11-25 08:40:25 · answer #4 · answered by burning brightly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have asked a very absurd question. Being girlfriend/wife is different thing and Friend is different thing. You and his Friends both are very important for him he can not give up any one. If he and his ex-girlfriend share mutual Friends, it is a fault. You and his Friends are first best thing. Go forward.
2006-11-25 08:40:22 · answer #5 · answered by loveboy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's too many fish in the sea. Actually, God tells you what's for us. But we are the one who choose who will be for the rest of our lives. You are Special, and everyone of us has differences, in thoughts and feelings.
Give your love for the person who is the right person for you.
Enjoy life and God will lead you the way...
2006-11-25 08:53:19 · answer #6 · answered by SHERWIN 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First someone you love should be your best friend and if he had to think about it thats a problem right there my advice is to move on and find someone else
2006-11-25 08:40:13 · answer #7 · answered by miester44 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man should always consider the woman he loves more worthy than any other person in life.
2006-11-25 08:30:21 · answer #8 · answered by malcolmg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is a strong thing.he seems confused.he dosen't seem hes in love with you.is there anything that you have that hes useing youfor ? time with you should be importent.
2006-11-25 08:37:30 · answer #9 · answered by ~Native Solider~! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There should be no question of chose. If your relationship with him, and his with his friends, cant co-exist, then its not meant to be.
2006-11-25 08:33:02 · answer #10 · answered by xzep2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋