Where to start well i ave been with my boyfriend for 4yrs and we ave a daugther together.but recently i ave started a new job and there is a fella who works ther and he is handsome and we get on so well i really do like him and he has tryed to make a move and i ave been tempted because i am not really happy with my current boyfriend well we ave our days but it make it harder win a child is invovled.Should i give the other fella a change or just get over it and forget the whole thing?????Good advice please because at the moment i am a really confused 19yr old!!
2006-11-24 22:23:19 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Goodness me no wonder you're confused. You are very young to be a mother and in a long term relationship.
It is likely that your feelings for the guy at work are a symptom of your unhappiness. Infidelity is not the cause of relationship break downs it is a symptom of them.
Be honest with both of them. Explain to the guy at work that you like him a lot but you need to sort out what is happening in your current relationship and for the moment can't commit to starting a relationship with him whilst you are still with the father of your child. If can't respect that then he's not worth wasting your time with.
When you are feeling calm speak to your boyfriend. Explain how you feel. Try and avoid throwing accusations around or screaming and shouting. I know it's hard but it's self defeating. If he won't listen be blunt. Tell him you have a problem which could mean the end of the relationship and ask him if that's what he wants. If not he needs to talk to you. If things start to deteriate into a slanging match walk away. You'll make no progress like that. Avoid using the words "always" and "never" Like you always go out with your mates or you never help around the house. If you must use them say first "sometimes I feel as though...."
Once you have decided what is going on with your current relationship then you will be in a better position to make a decision about the guy from work.
all the best.
2006-11-24 22:37:52 · answer #1 · answered by gerrifriend 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never leave a boyfriend to jump into another relationship. If your ot happy with ur boyfriend then leave and give urself a few months to re-discover urself. You have to ask urself would u be thinking of leaving ur current boyfriend if the other guy wasn't on the scene?
As for ur child she will be happy as long as u r, but she needs a safe and secure enviroment, so be really sure about what u want before doing anything.
Good luck, I know how hard it is!!!!!
2006-11-25 09:29:30 · answer #2 · answered by sammyantha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh dear, your in lust because sum other guy has showen a intrest in you, and its a very tempting intrest at that yeah, because you and your lad aint getting on, dont forget men have feelings as well, do you know anything about this other guy, i mean attraction in the work place is very common and normally only ends up as a sex thing only, i sense that this is what that other guys wants sex from you and thats all, of course he will show a intrest in you, but when he gets what he wants he will run a mile, just look at the problems a girl with a boyfriend and a daughter, dose this guy want to take on your daughter and a raging ex boyfriend that is gonna be pissed off because you done this to him and sum other guy has his daughter, if you are serious about leaving your boyfriend do it before you hook up with another man and when or if you do take a break from dating guys, dont just jump into another relationship how will that affect your daughter, it will confuse her more, you also need to think of her, what ever you decide good luck but dont ruin a family because of lust
2006-11-25 06:44:59 · answer #3 · answered by rusty red 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like lust more than love. First you need to really check your relationship with the father of your child. Just because you are not 100% happy right now, it does not mean that you go running to the first good looking guy you find. Before you go on breaking things up, you really need to think it through. If it is just lust, then you need to mature a little bit because you are a mother now.
2006-11-25 06:32:14 · answer #4 · answered by jasonheavilin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Work relationships aren't healthy then too, if your home life ain't what it's cracked up to be, that's not healthy for the child either. The guy at work might not be such a good option because he's nice looking and you get along well at work (we all have to have a working relationship. You have to clean up your home situation first before you think of going into another situation.
2006-11-25 06:30:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if things aren't work out with youse folk, well i suggest not to waste any more time with your current boyfriend. I'd dump him with reasons and give yourself time to adjust yourself (if you finished with him) and asked the lad from your work out. Don't worry if your feeling guilty hurting your current boyfriend, it's just, whats the point hanging onto your current boyfriend who doesn't make you feel loved. Do not used your child as an weapon because youse are trying to make a go of it to keep the child happy. do whats best for you both. This lad from work, is he not just looking for sex? Is he the one? Do you want to hurt yourself if he doesn't feel the same way as you? Have some self respect!! Wish you luck.
2006-11-25 06:33:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you are not too happy in your current relationship,it doesn't mean you should give it up.All relationships go through phases.Whether you are married or not.What makes you so sure the same thing won't happen with this new fellow.If you are not happy in your current relationship,try to work things out.You also have to consider your child too.
2006-11-25 06:30:28 · answer #7 · answered by mary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship with your current bf is hard BECAUSE there's a child involved.
How exactly do you see this new guy as a cure for the situation?
2006-11-25 06:51:59 · answer #8 · answered by charlie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to get over yourself and count yourself lucky that your bf stayed with you and the kid. On the other hand, you could go ahead on and sleep with the other guy, get pregnant by him as well and then be off to your next infatuation. By the way, you should give the bf permission to go out and get his rocks off with someone else as well; I mean, it's only fair, right?
Good luck...
2006-11-25 06:48:25 · answer #9 · answered by bongfuel 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
to start use caution, because it is really hard to date a person from work. it can mess things up all the way around, and if you do, you should break it off with your boy friend first... good luck in your choices.
2006-11-25 06:41:39 · answer #10 · answered by daniel h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋