My 8 year old seems to have a problem with authority. I know all kids are hard-headed to a certain extent, but i'm concerned, because a lot of what he does in my opnion is beyond being hard-headed. he lies habitually and laughs when I scold him. I mean it's hard to know when he's telling the truth! he has been tested for adhd and he doesn't have it. he is very disruptive in school and the teacher calls me constantly and she's at her wit's end, like me. he has been suspended at leat 4 times since school began.
He used to have imaginary friends, and he would talk to them and laugh like a lunatic with them. He literally would laugh until I would be climbing the walls! he talks to himself too, and he's been doing that since he was 2 and could talk? Does he sound like he needs help? What can I do for him? Does he sound normal?
2006-11-24 21:16:49 · 19 answers · asked by Nyema 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
All little children talk to themselves. That is perfectly normal as is having imaginary friends.
The laughing is a learned response - he knows it gets you're attention. I bet a pound to a penny it makes you mad as a cat and you get angry and shout at him (this isn't a criticism by the way.) and I bet you feel awful, upset and worried afterwards.
I wouldn't get sidetracked by how smart or not your son is. That is not the issue here. The problem is his inappropriate behaviour.
It's striking that you say both you and his teacher are at you're wits end - he has you both responding in a way that makes him feel in control - well actually he IS in control - of the situation though, not his behaviour.
The only really effective and permanent way to change children's behaviour is to change the way you respond and behave towards them.
People are often sceptical when I say this but I promise you it works. I am a parent and am also a teacher who works specifically with pupils who have severe behavioural, emotional and social difficulties.
You need to have clear boundaries but I'm sure you know that.
I find the simple most effective thing is to keep even tempered and say exactly what you mean (I know this is tough) with direct, immediate and appropriate consequences and rewards.
Always behave as you want him to behave. Showing him what you want by doing it yourself is the best way for him to learn. Be calm, firm and fair.
Have fun too, it can be hard to remember to enjoy each other's company when we're in conflict and I really do understand how exhausting it can be. Think of how you talk to your son. What tone of voice do you use (this is much more important than what you actually say)? Does it sound angry? Pleading? Dismissive? Children are very sensitive to how you say something as much as to what you say.
All this takes time. He won't respond overnight. Also you could really do with good support. You could ask your doctor or practice nurse for advice or here are some links
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/
http://www.raisingkids.co.uk/ski/ski.asp
http://specialchildren.about.com/About_Parenting_Special_Needs.htm
I'm sure things will work out OK. You will need lots or patience but raising children is the hardest job in the world, give yourself a medal for that! I wish you and your son all the best.
2006-11-24 21:57:54 · answer #1 · answered by kittyfreek 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think ur son is still too small mentally. I think that he needs constant company. I mean more than just friends at school and a mother that teaches him discipline. I mean a companion at all times for him with whom he can share and enjoy just as he does with his imaginary friends. And don't make things too strict for him at home. Let him play and activate his skills sufficiently. Some kids can't help being disruptive at school as at home they have many restrictions and can't let their imagination free and have freedom in action. And his laughing at ur scolding means that he doesn't care for punishments. Then what is the use of giving them or scolding him? Try some alternative methods of conselling him or something else. Try telling him emotionally or mildly. And beyond this, I would suggest u show ur son to child psychiatrist. They might be able to help more.... :-)
2006-11-24 21:37:19 · answer #2 · answered by Swathi Rao 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
noone is normal because noone is perfect,no he may have a problem but its to early to tell cause hes so young in age,but alot of kids have imaginary friends,i did when i was a kid,but i had the friend when i got older to,it was a problem,i have mental illness,and i am better now that i got help and take meds,you may have to do a lot to find out what is wrong with him,it may take years!you may find out when he's about 13 or older,find a good psychiatrist,you will get the answer one day,it will take time,
2006-11-25 12:47:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get far away from this leverage as fast as you can, kids has you back peddling now your going to be in extreme situations soon.. if this is a drug issue or a desire to bully issue either way it is going to be a physical confrontation for ever now that he has his own terms to deals out to u. about the only way to the bottom of it is a slow approach to get his confidence and he'll explain how and what he is up to but as an adversary you have no information at all, but you do have all the responsibilities that he will torment for his freedom, if you can be friends you get information and that is what you want is the source of this evil
2006-11-24 21:34:02 · answer #4 · answered by bev 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A big vocabulary doesn't mean you are smart, and are you sure he isn't just learning tid-bits to make it seem like he is smart. How does having your own study make you smart? I think you m,ay be exxagerating becaiuse you want so badly for your kid to be special. Is your kid smart? Maybe.. But not a genius.
2016-03-12 23:05:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't have good social skills. He sounds smart but can't relate to others so he developed a friend for himself. He needs a counselor and a class where he can interact with other kids
2006-11-24 21:21:55 · answer #6 · answered by desertblue62 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is a very good blog, a beginner’s guide to abnormal psychology.
Short, clear and simple; and you can even post your question and contact the author regarding particular subject you are interested in, for FREE
http://sensitive-psychoworld.blogspot.com/
2006-11-25 01:16:54 · answer #7 · answered by LIz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd suggest (no joke) strict physical discipline (yes, spankings). I've said it before and I'll say it again. You won't kill your kid if you hit them, and it doesn't have to be a hard hit. Any hit from mom or dad, no matter how hard, hurts. But the maniacal laughter? I'd see an psychatrist and see what s/he says.
2006-11-24 21:25:16 · answer #8 · answered by Prince Janus 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i have the exact same problem correct me if i'm wrong but he is also disorganized he probably has a rare case of autism only 1 in 1500000 have it it is not the common autism so it is not treated like that but anxiety medicine is the best way to treat it
2006-11-25 01:58:57 · answer #9 · answered by Eric M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever tried the privilege system?
If he behaves, he gets to keep his privileges (not monetary, please; something as simple as playing with his favorite toy); if he misbehaves (such as lying) he loses his privilege.
Please set firm boundaries, so that he will realize that it is of no use to bargain with you (he might try getting his way by having a tantrum). In time, you will notice that the bargaining (if he loses his privilege) and lying will tone down.
Please be consistent. Make him realize that lying will always result in dire consequence.
As with the consequence, please also be consistent and sincere with your praises; once he behaves.
His mind is like a fertile soil. It is up to you to cultivate it or let the weeds take root.
2006-11-24 21:36:49 · answer #10 · answered by tranquil 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋