how do i go on after losing my son?

Question

my son was just days from his 30 th birthday when he was killed in an accident.i am a mother of five boys and jerry being the second to the oldest.while we had ours as mothers and sons do ,we were so much alike{he would kill me for saying this}.i would give my own life this second to have him back here.he was just about to ask his girlfriend to marry him in dec.i just exist here on earth now.

Answer 1

I am so so sorry.....

Others have given you good advice.... I would just ask you to pour your heart out to God. God knows. God knows all about your grief, your struggle, your depression. Jesus wept at the tomb of Lazarus, his dear friend. It says in the bible that He was acquainted with sorrow and grief. How comforting it is to know that He understands our sorrows and our situations!!

Be honest with God. Forget about nice polite prayers. He doesn't mind if you cry, scream or rage at Him. He understands and will comfort you with His love. He will taste the salt of every tear....

Why? Why? Why do bad things happen? Why does tragedy strike? Why does God allow things?

As we draw closer to God, we simply learn to trust and we are given a deep deep assurance that He knows and understands our plight.... He doesn't always answer our "whys"....But He invites us to find Him and love Him and trust Him with all things...

please email me if you wish!!

Answer 2

First of all let me express my smypthay for your loss, and please accept my prayers. I have not ever shared in this experience, the loss of a child. However, my son lost his daughter, my pastor lost his son and buried him on his 18th birthday, and i have a very good friend who had to bury her 3 year old son 2 weeks after his 3rd birthday, murdered by the hands of her boyfriend. Recently, two church members lost their sons. So, I have had the experience second hand. I am greatful, and hope I never experience this pain. I do understand from what all have said. This is a pain that never really goes away, it lessens with time. However, is the worst pain they have ever experienced. And that I can only imagine to be the truth. The loss of my husband and my granadaughter were horrible for me. The thought of loosing a child is just unimaginable for me. I would suggest that you try very hard to remember the good times. And if at all possible and if it is something you would be intrestred in. Contact your local hospice organization. Many are non-profit organizations. And many offer support groups and breavement counseling. The support groups are beneficial becasue everyone there has suffered the loss of a loved on. There is strength in numbers, and their is some relief in knowing that what you are going through is a shared experience. The breavement counseling is one on one couseling sessions. This allows one time to discuss and talk about how one is feeling. Sometimes just the verbalization of ones feelings is a very empowering feeling. It is all confidential, nothing is discussed outside of the sessions. And you may find some new copies strageies. Keep in mind that the individuals that work within these hospice organizations are a very special type of people. They have committed their lives to dealing with dealth and dying and the issues that families are going through. And they are their to offer support. Their experiences have given them many ideas for coping. And also keep in mind that grief is an individual process. No two people grieve the same. I wish you the best, and I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers. God Bless You! ****

Answer 3

It is hard. I haven't lost anyone close to me, so I couldn't really say anything comforting to you. I am 34 and work away from home. I try to stay as safe as possible so that my mother, father or sisters won't worry. If I do pray I always wish safety for them.
Nothing is going to bring your son back but you were alike in so many ways. Trying doing things how he might have done, how he might have seen things. You might feel closer to him. You might be worrying that you may find it difficult to picture him with passing of time. But it happens with living people as well. I cannot clearly remember how my niece looked when she was two. I just feel that she is my niece now and has always been like that.
I am scared that I would live to be an old man, alone with all long gone. At least your son had you and his brothers and everyone else when he left and he might have been thinking about you all and been content that he would be remembered and loved.
You'll find things in unexpected places that will remind you of him and make you smile in his memory.

Answer 4

If you understood the nature of Life then you should be aware that "Death is Part of Life".

In fact he came to this Earth fulfilled his Karma and the retribution
for some past transgression is paid for in this his shortened life.

Take a look at Meditation at a time like this and you will be surprised how much it will help you find Peace within.

www.meditationthai.org

Answer 5

I lost my dad in an auto accident and maybe you can relate to this...it feels unreal...What im trying to say is that if someone is ill and is terminal, you know they are going to die,its expected... but when they die in an accident, you still expect to see them walk through the door, like it didnt or couldnt have happened. To this day and my dad was killed in 1989, that feeling hasent gone away and i miss him so much.
You as a mother will never get over this... you can and will go on living because you have others you live life for and you need to live for you to. Your son was an important part of your life a peice of a puzzle that completed you. You will do your son an honor by going on and living, not just getting by day to day but, by truly living.
Keep him close to your heart and know he is here watching over you and your family...Remember all the silly, wonderful things he did, share those stories with love ones. Go through emotionally what you need to go through...Do not let someone tell you how your are suppose to feel and when...
I feel for you and your family and i wish no one had to go through this....My thoughts and prayers are with you....... :(

Answer 6

I just came on my puter with tears in my eyes already
upset with something in my life, when I read this note of your great loss.
How does one go on when their heart still beats but part of them is lost, I would say its just breathing in and out and because your so blessed with other children
thinking of them, honour his memory celebrate his life some how. And most off all do not exspect it to end just let the grief works its course be kind toyourself
my dear friend take care.

[e-mail]

http://www.myspace.com/valeriegosney

Answer 7

I offer my heartfelt condolence to you ...but please stay firm...please take care of ur sons... i felt it when my cousin 23 years old past away in an accident...i know it's not easy... but we should get along life...we cannot do anything...
think that he might be with u all the time... but not with his body.... Think that if after his accident he still is alive, he might loose his foot or hand or even go in a coma...
better if it doesnt happen.... but really think that it's life.... and always thank god

Answer 8

Cry if you need to. Remember him. Never forget that you love him more than anyone will ever know. He is still alive in your heart. Just because he is gone does not mean that he is, his soul is. Then, when you're ready, move on...but never forget him.
Although, from the sound of it, I don't believe that you ever could, I can tell that you loved him dearly.

Answer 9

I'm so very sorry for your loss. No parent ever expects to out-live their child...but it happens. Please allow yourself time to grieve, but then get a grip and realize that you have 4 other boys who need you and love you. You are mom to them too. Honor your sons memory by cherishing your boys and living each day of your life to its fullest

Answer 10

try reading something inspirational like chicken soup and do what your son would have liked you to do.everything happens for the good.you may not realize it now but just hang on and life will change for you.