She isn't going out with anyone atm. I was wondering, would it be weird if I asked her out after 17 years ?

Question

Ive been friends with her for 17 years now. For 5 years ive liked her more than a friend.

Answer 1

Ok, this has just happened to me too, after a 12-year friendship during which we had discussed many personal things such as relationships, financial worries etc. We were the ones who always ended up sitting on the stairs at parties, deep in conversation. Everyone commented on how 'right' we seemed to be for each other but we were the last ones to realise it as we were always in love with someone else.

A few weeks ago I asked him if he would help me with a project I was working on and he agreed - we worked on it at his place, had a couple of glasses of wine and then I just came straight out and told him that I loved being in his company and the fact that I could always count on him being there for me and (a bit risky this one, but I decided to go for it because the time seemed right) that his smile lit up my heart. Suddenly he just grabbed me and kissed me - we both laughed a bit at first as we had never done anything like that before but the chemistry kicked in immediately and it was the most passionate embrace I had ever experienced. Subconsciously, it was what we had both been wanting for so long but neither had wanted to risk our friendship. Now it just keeps getting better amd better. We are completely inseparable and all our friends are saying,' About time too! What kept you guys?' Because we have been friends for so long, we know everything about each other and yet it all seems brand new and fresh, like the start of an exciting journey.

So yes, if I were you, I would definitely move things along and see what happens. Be courageous. The only things in life to regret are the things you never did.

Answer 2

No. That wouldn't be weird. It would be stopping procrastination. And they say that's a good thing to do.

If you're concerned about the possibility of destroying your friendship by asking her for a date, just preface your request with that information. For example, you can tell her you really value the friendship you've had with her over the past 17 years and that you'd like to ask her a question but are a little bit worried that it might ruin your friendship. When she says, what's your question, just say "I'd like to ask you out on a date." If she looks hesitant, add "No strings attached. We'd just spend time together and see how it goes." If she's still hesitant, say "I can see I've made you feel uncomfortable. I won't mention it again. Are we still friends?" I think that the worst that could happen is that she'll see that you are speaking from your heart, and possibly tell you that she's not ready right now, but will keep your request in mind. Then the ball's in her court. It'll be up to her to pursue this further if she chooses to do so. As far as you are concerned, you've opened your heart to her, and it didn't work, or might work later. Just go about your friendship with her with the thought that it's better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all.

Answer 3

Wow buddy my heart goes out to you....i had this same problem for 6 years. I knew from the moment i saw her i loved her but she was never single long enough for me to do anything about it ( neither was I for that matter). We stayed friends and depend in contact while she lived away and when i got my chance i sat her down and told her how i felt i wasn't dramatic i didn't overwhelm her i just said "Sweetheart I've been your friend for a long time and I truly enjoy our relationship and i don't want anything to get in the way of that but with that said something has just been eating me up inside and that is the fact that I love you and I hope, I think that there is a chance you feel the same way, and i think that we can make this work.... what do you say?"

Really i only got through 1/2 of that before she attacked me and violently kicked me out of her house, and i haven't heard from her since ...but the point is pal you got to try because you'll never know what would have happened and it will eat you up inside up until the day your on your death bed.

I'm only kidding, that story never happened but I do plan on telling her how i feel when i get the chance and i suggest you do the same, because if your like me no one else will ever fill up that spot in your hear you have for her until she ether rejects you or runs to you with open arms. And thats not fair to you or the woman you marry...you HAVE to do this.

Answer 4

every moment is precious! sit her down and talk both of your feelings out. Just remember if she only likes you as a friend its better to have her as a friend then not at all. But yes dont waste another 17 yrs!!! you might regret it! Good Luck!!

Answer 5

Don't waste another 17 years wondering, ask her out

Answer 6

What you are waiting for, go ahead ask her out.. You surely had known her for a long time. There's nothing weird for asking someone you like for outing. Right now!!!

Answer 7

i think u should go for it. if she doesn't feel the same then say ok cool we can just stay Friends. if she says yes then u may have a future. the point is if u try u will know and won't say what if

Answer 8

never live with a regret of never knowing what could've happened..it is always better to know either way and believe me when i tell you in the grand scheme of things your predicament is so easily resolved.....go for it and just ask the lady ....you could receive a great Christmas present

Answer 9

Nope just be honest and speak from your heart. Finding the right words to say becomes very simple when they are from the heart.
-NmD!

Answer 10

I would say it would be romantic, but since you have known her for so long and only developed these feeling 12 years after meeting her, then kept them quiet so long....well, creepy replaces romantic.