I hate my dad Ever since i was 4, i never smiled when he was around..his always around..Im only 13...Help pls?

Question

I want a good life.i dont want my teenage life to black out too..i have been thinking bout that lately...
i used to always wanted to commit suicide(that was 2 years till now).. becus of how my dad makes mi upset and always thinking how i will cope in life.

2 minutes ago, my dad had a talk with me...mom and the siblings r out. He sed he wanted to move out on us..
he kept saying

"This Month, i lost my wife and nearly my job and now i lost u..the whole day i was thinking bout what has been happening. And i will move out on u if u keep threating me like ****"

ALL I SED WAS "u stress me" AND HE DOESNT TALK TO ME FOR 4 DAYS TILL NOW
I AM SOO PISSED , I HATE THIS

pls help me..i wan my teen life to be better than my childhood

Answer 1

Well, honey, all I can say is I feel ya, and I'm 22 now but I went through something similar around that age.

My dad almost never made me smile either. He was very critical, always found something wrong and focused on everything negative. He frequently abused alcohol and would throw furniture, destroy an entire room in his fits of rage, and go on nonsensical political rants about how liberals were destroying everything which I was too young to understand, so it just frightened me.

Even when our dad was sober, we would flee straight to our bedrooms upstairs whenever we heard the garage door open when he came home, just because we didn't want to have to deal with him or hear some criticism.

My mom was actually the one who left HIM when I was 14 years old. My sis/bro were old enough to move out by then, but I had to stay with my dad at first. He was openly suicidal. A lot of times he failed to buy us groceries because of his emotional instability and I went hungry a lot or had no toothpaste to brush my teeth, things like that. It was a real hard time in my life, especially after the divorce and being pushed back and forth from parent to parent. I was a cutter for a long time, still am sometimes because it's hard to get over a habit/coping mechanism once it's established. PLEASE seek counseling or the support of someone who loves you, DON'T make suicidal thoughts into a habit, I can tell you from personal experience that it's a difficult thing to break, and you don't need it.

Your father reminds me of mine saying something like "This month, I lost my wife and nearly my job blahblah". Unfortunately a lot of parents don't act like parents around their kids, and instead push their problems onto them, when they should be doing just the opposite and being a strong role model and a guide through life and let their kid just be a kid.

I decided if I was going to be treated bluntly like an adult, I might as well be one. I've been living on my own since I was 16.
I'm 22 now and the last time I saw my dad was at my brother's wedding a couple months ago.

I can say that we are on good terms these days, but that's more from my own personal maturity and decision not to hold a grudge anymore than anything else. Even so, we're not very CLOSE and I honestly don't know if we'll ever be. I generally view my father with apathy.. not anger and not fondness either.

Depending on how close you are, you may still be able to mend things and live a pretty happy, normal "teenage"hood. If you're not close AT ALL, that may not be possible. I'll be honest.

But I CAN offer you this comfort: Whether it's sooner or later, your Dad will get lonely or start to think about things in the past and realize the things he's done wrong. And he will apologize for it. I know this is hard to hear when you hate your parent, believe me, but he DOES love you, and he will eventually try to make up for what he's done wrong.

Forgive him and take it with a grain of salt. He's human.

Love yourself first and forgive those that hurt you... not for them, but do it for yourself.

Answer 2

There has to be a reason you have such negative feelings toward your father. If you will deal with the WHY it may help you get past it.
You can't change what your dad does but you can learn to change your reaction to him.
When he threatens to move out, what I hear is a man who wants to feel needed by you; one with low self-esteem who thinks nobody cares about him. He obviously has a lot of stress and isn't dealing well with it. You aren't dealing well with your stress either. Suicide is never the answer. You say you want a good life. Suicide will end all chances of you having that. Do you have a school counselor you could talk to? That would be a way to start the healing that needs to take place. If it gets so bad you can't take another minute of it, you can go to the ER and they will help you find a counselor through your local mental health system. They can't change who your dad is but they can change how you relate to him and teach you ways of coping with the problem. Don't give up! Reach out for help. You can do it!

Answer 3

First off, let me say I am a mother and I can't understand why parents do that to their children? Why? Why when we have problems we take it out on our children and make them feel guilty for everything. It sounds, from the little I know, that he may be having some problems, whether at home or at his job and he wants attention, but not the normal attention, sympathy and because he has always made you feel uncomfortable from when you were little, it is hard for you to open up to him. Now when you try to express yourself, he gets angry because its not all about him, instead its about you. Sometimes parents need to step back and look at what they are doing to their children.
He sounds like he is hard to talk to, maybe writing him a letter will help.
I am sorry you are going through this. All I can say, is you did nothing wrong.

Answer 4

Every situation is different. Only you know what is really happening in your life with your dad so it's hard to answer on what you wrote. You are very young. I wonder why it is that you "hate" your dad so much, from the time you were 4. Does he have anger control problems? drink? physically or emotionally abuse you? Do you think you could ever relax around him, and perhaps forgive him and get to know him, and maybe even like him someday? Is your mom out of the picture? Is that why he said to you "i lost my wife"? or is this your step mom? Do you "hate" him because he got a "new" wife perhaps? What's going on honey? I'd hate to see you miserable and without a parent to love. Please try to work it out with him. Don't be so hard on him unless he has abused you. Soon enough you'll be out of the house and on your own. But for now, please try to work things out between you and your father. No one has a "good" childhood. Every person suffers in their home enviroment. Take another look, is it REALLY as bad as it seems? You are going through a lot of hormonal changes too as you become a young lady, so keep that in mind. Because it causes you to cry easily or react to situations more personally. You are very sensitive at this age. And I'd hate to see you miss out on not having a father figure in your life. Most kids do have fathers they can't stand. But if you try to concentrate on his good qualities, then maybe you'll appreciate him more. Good luck and God Bless you honey!

Answer 5

Well I guess you are really stressed out! I think the good thing to do here is to sit down with your father and tell him the way you feel! i'm sure he'll understand! p.s i know this is really hard for you and im sorry it has to be like that! but if you follow my advise it might acully turn to a great relashinship between u and ur father! hope it all goes WELL!

Answer 6

Look every one has a story to tell. Here are a few questions to ask your self.
Has my dad ever sexually assaulted me? Sexual abuse
Has my dd ever hit me for no reason? Physical abuse
Has my dad ever called me a bunch of awful names? mental abuse.
If the answer is no to all of these, then please dig a little harder.
Your dad may have a mental condition called depression, its a hard thing to under stand. he needs medical treatment and a counselor. You only have one set of parents try to understand him. Things will get better for both of you. Good luck

Answer 7

u duno how many chicks complain bout their dads
mi bestfrend i always saying how she wans her dad gones n shits...somtimes it pisses mi off to see that this world even have those kind of dads, who drinks or who makes their daughters pole dance for them

its sick plus i want them dead

Answer 8

be strong
talk to him
if he won't talk, write him a nice long letter, tell him how you feel, and go see a guidance counselor at school if you know one.
DO IT TODAY !!!!

Answer 9

havent you tried to have a family
activity or something??????
try to be open w/ your dad.
we have the same prob but yours is much worse ......well good luck w/ dat anyway :)

Answer 10

From the sound of it, it'd be best if he moved out.