Does anybody like my story so far? PART 1 of -?

Question

Pandorma
By:---


Chapter 1: The Beginning of the End

In the beginning, The Pandorma Initiative was a harmless group of scientist working to cure a new type of cancer that was killing thousands every day. The cancer was a communicable disease that could be transferred by blood or saliva. They quarantined the infected, and ran tests to try and save them.
The disease mutated and was no longer a cancer, it was a pandemic. The disease was named Tannic. Tannic became both a health and military hazard and was quickly spreading in South America where the quarantine base was stationed. America closed the boarder to Mexico with force of the entire Army, Marines, Navy, Air Force, National Guard and Special Forces. The rule was “Killing on sight”. Mexico and the Mexicans in America were mad, the Mexican population rioted leaving most of America ruined and the Police were not the law any more. When Tannic finally came into the U.S.A, it was by boat from Cuba where no calls,

Answer 1

Maybe you should do some research on "Pandemics" first. Do some research on the Spanish Flu, as well as more recent ones like AIDS and Ebola.

Either it would be a "fast killer" like Ebola, where people died quickly and it never spread. Or it would be a "slow killer", where it would be impossible to contain because people would pass it along before terminal symptoms were obvious. Closing the border with Mexico would be pointless, because it would simply pass on to Europe or Asia, and come right back. Look at the recent outbreak of SARS to see what I mean.

And what would the Navy, Air Force, and Special Forces be doing? Shooting down airliners with infected people? Sinking any ships that left port in Mexico? And Mexico is a long ways from South America. US closing the US border from Mexico would be like France closing the border with Belguim because of a disease in Hungary.

And as a member of the US Armed Forces, there is no way that a "shoot on sight" order would be given, let alone followed. We are not mindless robots, and such an order would be illegal, and would never be followed. Period.

Answer 2

1. What Street did Ralphie live on? I don't remember. 2. What store did Ralpie see the one thing he wanted for Christmas? BB Gun. 3. What is the toy? ...BB Gun? 4. How did he try to plant the idea in his mom's head? He's becoming a man i thin... 5. What did he daydream about at breakfast? shootin his eye out? 6. What was his Dad obsessed with? That pantyhose leg lamp 7. Who got overdressed for school? Ralphie's friend. 8. What was his Dad's weakness? ... 9. What did the boy hand out to the others at school? and who were they making fun of? ... 10. Who stuck there tongue to the pole? who triple dog dare him? ralphie's friends... 11.Who came to the rescue? mom and lil bro. 12. What was the punishment the teacher give the class for not telling who told him to do it? idk..

Answer 3

Try a publisher. Prentice Hall comes to mind, or they may suggest someone else. LOL

Answer 4

Umm Ok. To short to make a valid assessment.