Do couples who "take a break" ever really get back together? We're moving apart but still dating after 3 years

Question

My boyfriend and I moved in together after just a few months of dating. That was three years ago. We both have things to work on - mainly I need to take better care of myself and stop being such a slob. He wants to move apart for a while because he says our relationship isn't healthy (it isn't), but he still wants to date. So do I. And he says when things get better, we can move back in together. He's not the type to just say what I want to hear. I want to have a good relationship with him, but I'm hoping he's just not trying to keep from hurting me. How should I handle this?

My boyfriend and I moved in together after just a few months of dating. That was three years ago. We both have things to work on - mainly I need to take better care of myself and stop being such a slob (my words, not his). He wants to move apart for a while because he says our relationship isn't healthy (it isn't), but he still wants to date and not see other people. So do I. And he says when things get better, we can move back in together. He's not the type to just say what I want to hear. I want to have a good relationship with him, but I'm hoping he's just not trying to keep from hurting me. How should I handle this?

Answer 1

Yes, some couples do actually get back together and are stronger after seperating. It really depends on the total relationship: trust, respect, attraction, etc. Please, give the relationship some more time. Do not do what I did and tell your boyfriend that if he doesn't want to continue to live together than there is no point in dating. I thought it was a step backwards. I should have agreed to keep talking to him and seeing him. Now, we do not talk at all and I wish I had never made him choose.

Answer 2

I think that there is 50/50 that you two will get back together.I also think that you may split up again for the same reasons. I also think that during that time he will be seeing someone else, he sounds like he is testing the relationship. Seeing if things are better without you..but something i did notice..

What does he mean by being a slob? I was with a girl for 3 years and things were fantastic, i got a new job as an executive and had to get a new big place and keep it spotless to entertain people and she couldn't handle it. She was "a slob" and i tried to work things out for a year and they didn't and i had to let her go because it was important to my career to maintain appearances.

If this is the case i would try aind straiten things up..if he is just talking about you beeing "overweight" then i would ditch his sorry *** and find someone who will love you unconditionaly...there are men out there who will love you no matter what shape you are.

if you decide to loose weight and get back in shape he may come back to you....if he does tell him he had his chance and to go f**k himself. And upgrade your man, because it sounds like thats what hes trying to do with you.

Answer 3

Okay. I really like this query! Actually, I started to reply it, after which I had to go back and give it a celeb. My husband and i have been together practically 21 years. How do we do it? "seeing that we like each other"? Good, we do, however not in the "OH-mY-goD-i-LoVe-HiM!!!!!" kind of nuttiness means. We got collectively since we had some common pursuits, some normal historical past, some enchantment, and wanted to settle down. Courting gets old--I used to be in my mid 30s after we obtained married. Dating gets historical. Commencing over every few years with anyone new, breaking them in, telling my story over again. Will get old. Now that is style of boring! Of direction we have now issues! All people have issues. We work them out. We do not run from them. You run from one set of issues, more commonly solvable, and you run to yet another set. There is no relationship in the world that doesn't have its issues. A better measure of a excellent relationship to me isn't that two people agree on everything and get alongside perfectly, however that they may be able to handle their differences without inflicting everlasting harm on every different and on the connection. So what you're employed on is YOU. How you handle problems. Are you patient? Are you kind? Ever read that bible passage in Corinthians? It can be in most church marriage ceremony ceremonies, but many humans do not particularly "get it" i do not suppose. They suppose love is enchantment, and when the enchantment gets much less severe, they consider love is long gone. They are complicated apples with oranges. Should you hit a point in any relationship the place there is nothing to talk about, then look within the replicate. I never run out of things to assert! If my honey-bunny was struck mute tomorrow, i might preserve matters enjoyable for us simply on my own. I read, I socialize, I travel, i am perpetually bringing in new things to refresh the relationship. He does his part on that, too. Lazy humans get boring. Lively, interested individuals are by no means boring. Hope that offers you some recommendations. If you want to ask me some thing extra exact, which you could e mail me. High-quality regards. PS -- Some folks ascribe their relationship's durability to their faith in God, and that's cool. Simply wish to say that we're each athiests, and we are doing quality in our relationship without a religous base. Not recommending it or recruiting. I am just throwing it available in the market.

Answer 4

The best thing to do is to just get your heart ready for the worst. And maybe you should think of the reason why your relationship is going so good. Maybe because you guys moved in so soon together that things just went down tube. Just sit down and talk to him about how you feel!!!
Wishing you the best!!!!

Answer 5

Not if you take a long break. If you take a break for a day or two then it works. But longer and when you get back together there will be a lot of suspicions about what was "really" going on. Personally I don't believe in them.

Answer 6

well you guys arent exactly taking a break...you are only goign to be living in seperate places. you are still bf and gf! you both still ove eachohter! you will see eachother and talk on teh phone still. this si the time for you to shape up aofr for you guys to focus more on whatever you need to but you guys are still bf and gf! just give time for things to get better and see what happens from theere. and if he isnt the type of guy that says those things then dont worry about it! you knwo him better than us. my bf isnt the type that says those things eitherl. we officially broke up for only 3 days a while ago. he told me he would liek to get bcak togehter someday, and saying maybe we never would and we ended up gettign back together after 3 days. if you both love eachohter and you want things to work otu then they will. but you guys are stillbf a gf so dont freak out! lol
good lucj though=)


my manager at work was dating her bf for 5 years, they broke up last year. and now they are back together. ust work on what you need to do. chane yourself and thins will work out. they will work out if you both really love eachohter! =) dont worry,

Answer 7

I had a girl friend. We separated for almost a year and get back together. We are together since then, happily married with two children.

Answer 8

But are you a slob ? Or does he tell you you are one ?
Doe she puts thoughts into your head and change your opinion of yourself ?

Answer 9

Just handle..is better for ur relationship...

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Answer 10

because "taking a break" is just a lame excuse to see other people.