Please proofread my awkward English sentence.?

Question

There are many reported sightings of paranormal phenomena, such as apparitions, all over the world, and those strange occurences happen more often in Japan.

Answer 1

A couple of suggestions, from simplest to best:

There are many reported sightings of paranormal phenomena, such as apparitions, all over the world; and those strange occurrences happen more often in Japan.

There are many reported sightings of paranormal phenomena (such as apparitions) all over the world, and those strange occurrences happen more often in Japan.

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Sightings of apparitions and other strange paranormal phenomena occur all over the world, and are reported most frequently in Japan.
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Answer 2

There are many reported sightings of paranormal phenomena; such as apparitions, all over the world. Those strange occurences happen more often in Japan.

Answer 3

There have been many reported sightings of paranormal phenomena, such as apparitions, all over the world. These strange occurences happen most often in Japan.

Hope this helps! I didn't want to change it too much so it will still sound like you speaking.

Answer 4

There are many reported sightings of paranormal phenomena, such as apparitions, all over the world and those types of strange occuences happen most often in Japan.

Answer 5

I'm not even close to an English major, but I think the following would be just fine.

All over the world there are many reported sightings of paranormal phenomena, such as apparitions. These strange occurrences happen most often in Japan.

Answer 6

There are many reported sightings of paranormal phenomena such as apparitions all over the world. Many of these strange occurences happen in Japan.

Answer 7

All over the world, there are many reported sightings of paranormal phenomena such as apparitions. Those strange occurences happen more often in Japan.

Answer 8

Your 'all over the world' is a little oddly placed, and when you say 'more often in Japan', my first thought is "More often than where else?", so you had better address that in your previous or next sentence, or else take it out. Here's how I'd redo it:

There are many reported sightings of paranormal phenomena such as apparitions all over the world, and those strange occurences happen more often in Japan.

or

There are many reported sightings of paranormal phenomena-such as apparitions- all over the world, and those strange occurences happen more often in Japan.

or

There are many reported sightings of paranormal phenomena all over the world, such as apparitions, and those strange occurences happen more often in Japan. (I don't care for this one)

or

There are many reported sightings of paranormal phenomena all over the world, and such strange occurences- like apparitions- happen more often in Japan.

Hope that helps!

Answer 9

It's not too bad, for English as second language (or is it third?). I would make this minor change:

There are many reported sightings of paranormal phenomena, such as apparitions, all over the world. These strange occurrences happen frequently in Japan.

Answer 10

The sentence is, technically speaking, gramatically correct. However, if I were to edit it, I would split it into two sentences and rearrange a bit. For example:

Sightings of paranormal phenomena, such as apparitions, are reported all over the world. These strange occurrences happen more often in Japan than elsewhere.

Does that help? I have a master's degree in professional writing, but that by no means makes me an expert! (English is complicated!)