I love my boyfriend. When we're together he's very attentive, complimentary and loving. My prob stems from when we're not together and the activities he's involved with.
I began to be jealous of one girl he was talking with on IM. He was "helping her" with a breakup and her self esteem issues. I developed some red hot anger over this because we'd never gone thru something like that before. In the heat of my anger, I installed spy software on his computer and now find that he's an online flirt.
He never initiates a meeting but likes to look at pics and is VERY complimentary about what he sees. In one case, the girl he was talking to asked about a gf. He admitted that he had one and now I notice he doesn't talk to her anymore.
He and I have talked about it and he assures me that nothing is going on.
Do I just look the other way and chalk it up to harmless flirting or does this usually lead to more?
2006-11-24 18:18:34 · 16 answers · asked by girlspeedracer 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
physco, what are u doing, take it easy
2006-11-24 18:20:19 · answer #1 · answered by jared l 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know something , I think there are many things going wrong with you relation ..the fact that you felt insecure and you had to install a spy software on his pc , mean you lost trust , what kind of relation would be with no trust ....and the fact that your fear were in its place so you have to take serious action ..
it is not about that your mate is talking to someone else ..or he told her he has a girlfriend or he did not ..it is about respecting your feelings and how serious he is when dealing with sensitive issue that you don't like ..I don't think that any on-line girl is more important than you for him ...or this is what i do assume ..so giving up such behavior will not be devastating ..it will not affect his work , or his family or any of important issues in his life they are only some girls he never met ! so my advice for you tell him that your relation is more than hanging around and having sex ..it is around love , feelings and care ...you gave him your heart ,and he is responsible for taking care for it and if he loves you he wont do anything that hurts you especially if it is not that important ...by the way never try to keep a guy ,,,if he didn't care ..you just take serious reaction i am not telling you to leave him ..but you just express the way you feel by a proper reaction " not words or argument " let him work for keeping you instead of you keep workiong to keep him!
2006-11-25 02:37:00 · answer #2 · answered by Silent tear 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From what you described it sounds like harmless flirting. unless you have some solid evidence he's cheating, let it go. Flirting to a man is like a release, it makes them feel good, feel wanted. He is not face to face or in a bar picking them up & taking them home. Jealously is the cause of a lot of relationship issues. The last thing you want to do is drive him away because of accusations. If it becomes an obbsession or he starts acting differently like breaking dates, not returning calls, you know the opposite of attentive toward you, then call cheaters and bust him, but in my opinion I don't think you have anything to worry about.
Good Luck..
2006-11-25 02:26:26 · answer #3 · answered by queenkeva_05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are plenty of men out there flirting online and some are actually meeting. If I'm chatting with a man and he tells me he is married or in a relationship, I ask why he is chatting and not with her at that moment. Sometimes the guy just goes away and sometimes I end up counseling him on his bad relationship. I won't knowingly chat with a man in a relationship but there are way too many out there. Keep you man interested in you and he should have no reason to chat with other women. Good luck!
2006-11-25 02:23:42 · answer #4 · answered by treasureisland85 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well he seems to me that hes a very good guy who love u so much , he admitted to the girl that he got you so why u r so worried ? you should trust him and believe me if u did u wont be jealous again, don't try to spy on him because it will make him uncomfortable .. be honest and tell him what u feel wittout spying or keeping ur anger inside im sure he will understand . good luck
2006-11-25 02:24:01 · answer #5 · answered by mimi ^____^ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex and I were having alot of problems in our relationship when I discovered he ahd a myspace to meet girls, and that it said he was single, etc. and was chatting up girls.
This is NOT a good sign. He shouldn't need to get attention from other women. This is heading in a bad direction. Talk about it now. If he won't stop, I would end the relationship.
he should be satisfied with just YOU!
2006-11-25 02:21:40 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs.Gaddis 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
u sound like a smart young lady. u know that even on a computer if flirting then what to think when in person with out you.?
2006-11-25 02:22:13 · answer #7 · answered by dounut 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
harmless flirting but id still watch him and use the spy software and dont tell him its there
2006-11-25 02:20:38 · answer #8 · answered by Nightchild 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that you should tell your boyfriend how it makes u feel. if u dont want him to flirt tell him that. if he doesnt accept and u dont like it he obviously isnt the 1 for u
2006-11-25 02:28:40 · answer #9 · answered by big matt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It leads somewhere...Tell him this makes you very uncomfortable...If he truly wants to be with you and only you he will stop...If he doesn't he has no respect for you and you need to move on...
2006-11-25 02:38:19 · answer #10 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LET HIM TALK CAUSE IT AINT LIKE HE'S OUT THERE LOOKING TO GIVE IT AWAY......BE MORE WORRIED ABOUT WHAT HE IS FLIRTING WITH FACE TO FACE NOT ON A PC....GET OVER IT
2006-11-25 02:21:31 · answer #11 · answered by sixtylbscat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋