people can change right?
i mean if they didn't like you they why would they even bother coming back to you?
i really want things to work out between me and my ex and we are both working at it.
this time i can tell.
it makes me really happy and i'm just not ready to get crushed again.
so call me naive, ridiculous, any of these......
i'm just so happy we both are actually trying to fix things and get around why we broke up.
why do people think getting back together with your ex will create a mess?
i don't understand because it is their choice to come back and fix things.
they aren't being forced to...........right?
2006-11-24 17:57:25 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't worry about what others say. It takes courage to get back together and try to work things out. If people really love each other, they will adjust to that person, i.e. change. Get back together and do what you want to do. If it doesn't work out, then you move on and you taught yourself a lesson. Everyone needs to make their own life choices to understand them, so go on and make yours. You know what's best for you and what feels right. It's not like, if things go wrong, you can't break up again. You could always do that!
2006-11-24 18:03:27 · answer #1 · answered by ananswerer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's because statistically speaking most people get back together with their ex will just break up again. You're just attempting to beat the odds. Most people would rather not gamble and start with something new.
Can it be done certainly.
But when you have a relationship like this that has gone bad and now you're trying to fix it the biggest problem is you bring a lot of excess baggage into the relationship. You didn't specify why you broke up so we'll take some standard ones. Going back into relationship where someone cheated, reckless with money, or argued all the time is at first easy if you both promised not to do that again.
But let's just take cheating as purely an example. Both have had your time to cool down… reestablish your love, etc… When you get back together your “husband” just looks at another girl. Maybe he did a hundred times before and you never thought anything of it. But now you may even overreact. People tend to carry around this big bag of history and are ready to unleash it the moment something even slightly goes wrong.
Having said all that I certainly think it can work but I would take everything very slowly.
Mark
Author GirlstelAll
2006-11-25 02:11:03 · answer #2 · answered by GirlsTellAll.com 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even with all the best hopes and wishs...and even efforst.....getting back together from a broken up relationship is just destined to fail.
Deep down...you both are the same...trying to change and compromise but are still the same people. Its just too easy to fall back into old habits and to take the other for granted again.
Unfortunately the odds are against the relationship succeeding.
2006-11-25 02:03:50 · answer #3 · answered by Pam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Experience. That is the sole answer to why people assume getting back with an ex will create a mess.
Just because most people that have ever walked off a cliff more than 300 feet tall has died, does that mean you will if you walk off it?
Here's a sobering thought....if you really loved THAT person, why would you want them to change? They wouldn't be the same person anymore. It works thinking of yourself too.
2006-11-25 02:04:08 · answer #4 · answered by Star 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
once an x always an x people can't change if you have a habit or have been doing something fo a long time you just don't wake up one day and say i'll quit. you will go back to it.
2006-11-25 02:04:07 · answer #5 · answered by mia t 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, thats sounds wonderful to hear.
i really wanted to get back and went begging .
fix things n not ponder wats past.
i sure wanted to , well just make sure it the right person for u.
go ahead n make love happen
put in lots of love to it, i'm pretty sure it won't fail if there is lots of love..
remember to not look back n compare...
its gonna be tough initial stage, love is great.....
2006-11-25 02:05:43 · answer #6 · answered by milo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i just know from experience that its a mess. every ones different and its better to try again and fail then to always wonder if you should have tried again. i wish you the best
2006-11-25 01:59:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People can change, it's just that they usually don't. If they get by with something they assume that they can do it again and be forgiven.
2006-11-25 02:00:32 · answer #8 · answered by sharpeilvr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
becuz it didnt work the first time why would it work this time?? But if you are going to try it good luck
2006-11-25 02:00:21 · answer #9 · answered by Nightchild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because,you already messed up once! Why mess it up again?
2006-11-25 01:58:55 · answer #10 · answered by lightning! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋