i've asked my ex out a few times, but he's always busy. however, when he asks me out, i always seem to accept, just for the stupid fact that i miss him. it's not like i cancel plans just to be with him, it's more like random, spontaneous hang-outs when we're bored. my family have a problem with me still spending time with him, especially on his terms and when he calls. they think i just go running everytime he wants to "hang out." I quite frankly don't see it like that at all.
he's so into his fraternity and band & stuff, it's hard knowing when he's busy or not. so i feel hesitant to ask him out nowadays. is it wrong to be so available when he calls? should i make it look like i have a really busy life too and keep him guessing about me? or is everyone taking this out of proportion? it's not like we see each other often, maybe once every two weeks, we're not dating anymore so i don't expect to see him often.
2006-11-24 17:53:19 · 12 answers · asked by damsel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I write you back cause you was also nice to answer my question.
Here i think you are absolutely right. You have to make yourself less available. But you must start consequent from the beginning with it. From the time on he notice that he can have you anyway its too late. But let me mention that when somebody really love you, you dont have to make yourself less available. But under circumstances you can increase the probabilty that sb loves you with making yourself less available.
Let me give you a simple example. Two little children play together. From the time on one of the child plays with a ball, sudenly the ball becomes interesting for the other too. If you have to fight for sth you will more appreciate the value of it and not take it for granted. But no rules withouth exeption. One of the exeption is perhaps love of the first sight.
A good strategy to make men crazy and completey fond of you is the following. Next time when meet a guy you like and he phone you: Tell him you have absolutely no time. Tell him that you will phone him back later. But dont phone. If he phone back (and believe me he will if he is really interested) tell him sth like: Ahhh , yes i forget competely or I had a lot to do. Mix this strategy with tiny signs that you like him. That makes him crazy. Cause he dont knew if he can have you or not. And i am sure he will arrive suddenly at your housedoor with a bunch of flowers. Its perhaps childish but believe me it works. (I must knew it am also a man.)
Have a good time and dont forget: make yoursel less available next time.
PS: thanks also for your answer
2006-11-24 20:12:50 · answer #1 · answered by happy_blabla 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Making Yourself Less Available
2017-01-16 13:18:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your guy is as busy as you mentioned, then it is very sweet of him to manage you into his schedule. School can be a huge time demander, and he has a band. I think he's doing the best he can, but maybe he would let you sit in on band rehearsals? Since you ask him out, you care, and he asks you out when he can because you are on his mind and he feels guilty for delaying your times together. It sounds like love, but usually time will tell for sure. Then again, if you're considering "getting back" or "getting over" on him, then it's turning unhealthy. The revenge to make yourself feel somehow better. It's turning twisty. Maybe give him a clue how you feel?
2006-11-24 18:11:10 · answer #3 · answered by Maxine Michele 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you do probably make yourself a bit too available for him....guys love the chase of a hard to get woman....but if you do not want to turn him down just let him know that you are "canceling other plans" when you accept.... you could say " oh, i was suppose to go out with co-workers, but i can cancel." that way it won't seem like you have no life outside of waiting for him to call....
2006-11-24 18:02:41 · answer #4 · answered by jen4802051709 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you trying to reconnect with him? Why are you still trying to "hang out" with him if he is your ex?
If you go out with him every time he calls and he doesn't do the same when you call, then he knows you are very available. Let him go, find a new friend or whatever to hang with.
2006-11-24 18:08:17 · answer #5 · answered by buffybeast 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of it other way round... what if he keeps you waiting? How would you feel? From whatever you have written, it appears he loves you a lot, while you are yet to get over the things of having complete faith on him, right Courtney? Just imagine, you love someone really and he makes you wait intentionally.
2016-03-12 23:04:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships and dating are supposed to be a 50, 50 thing not one sided. I'd stop being so available.
2006-11-24 17:56:16 · answer #7 · answered by sharpeilvr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until he grows up if you can wait that long! In the mean time...explore your interests. He may still be there...
2006-11-24 17:56:47 · answer #8 · answered by BadBill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think occasionally when he calls you should pretend you are busy for the simple reason you dont want him to think he can decide when he wants to see you and youll be there
2006-11-24 17:57:29 · answer #9 · answered by Nightchild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't ask him out and tell him that if you guys go out, it's as friends. he's your ex.
2006-11-24 17:55:48 · answer #10 · answered by Baby I'll stay, heaven can w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋