Unwanted by my parents & i am 23 now.?

Question

I am so called a "shotgun" kid, which my parents dont want me at the first place. Thrown to live with my grand ma til age of 10, cos she died of a fall.
I didnt know i have parents til then, they brought me home. Having a baby sister which they dote, i dont understand why they dont want me.
Being a loner, i worked since age of 12, cos they only give me enough money to buy bread & have to drink tap water(no choice).
Now they are reaching 50, and with no change of attitude towards me. Except asking me for more money, what can i do?
I just want a happy family.......

Please read my other question to know how mess up my life is right now.....

Anyway, i am using my Company's PC to do all this..

Answer 1

Don't expect them to change, accept them for what they are, so you won't get hurt, and when they do domething nice (if they do) you will be pleseantly surprised.
It is not because they suck at parenting that you should suffer for it. Not every one that has kids should, just you be a better parent if you ever have kids.

You can make your own family, friends can be your family. You do not need them anymore, they messed with you already they won't change. Don't give them money if you don't feel like it u don't owe them anything, if you do give it to them do not expect them to be nicer to you because you gave them cash.

My friend same thing happen (more or less) her parents got pregnant with her and did not want her they gave her to the grandma and when she was 5 took her home as now they were ready for her.
Now she has 2 kids and lives a country away and every year they say they will help her with the kids in the summer or at christmas and every year they say they will come and they never do. Every year she cries and i tell her not to believe them, and to accept the fact that they are shitty parents. To take what she can from them and to rely on others for the rest.

Answer 2

I am no expert, but you’re in a situation unfortunately your not going to find happiness in. You’re an adult now you have the option to find your own happiness. You and your parents cannot change the past. You have to look at it for what it is and figure out what you can do to find happiness. I have found an extended family in my close friends, their sisters, and brothers, and some of their parents I even call mom or dad. There is nothing wrong with you, you did not ask to be brought into this life or have a say in who your parents are, but you have the choice to move past it and move on. Don't let them take anything more away from you. If what you said is true and they really did not want you then it's doubtful they will want to see you succeed or happy, and it is truly their loss. In my opinion the best revenge is success. You seem to be a stronger person because of this experience, run with it! You have survived all you've been through already that in it's self should be looked at as an accomplishment. These people gave you life, it's the quality of life they have taken away, and it’s time for you to take it back. We all want our parents to love and want us, but sometimes us unfortunate ones don't get it, so we make it. Family is simply a term used to express our closeness and feelings for a group of people were connected to, this does not have to be a connection by blood. Reach deep down to that child inside give it a hug and say I'm worthy, I matter even if only to myself I matter, I’m important. You can use this as a stepping stone to a better future, for yourself and for the family of your own you may have someday.

Good Luck..

P. S Don't give them any more money, there grown let them work for it. Hell 50 is the new 30 according to the news! :-}

Answer 3

Wow, things are a mess for you. You're letting your girlfriend and your parents use you, thinking that will fill that gaping hole in your heart, but you're just getting more torn up inside.

First, you have to accept the fact that you don't have parents. They already tore up their parenting cards where you're concerned. Now you just have to create a life for you, to make yourself happy. Dump the clingy girlfriend, who is just there for your bank account. Sounds like you should be spending time with your best friend instead.

You will have a chance to have a happy family... the one you will create. You'll have to choose wisely when you pick a wife, though. You might want to pick up a copy of the book Bad Childhood, Good Life. It will help you let go of the childhood you had and make a good life for your future. Good luck.

Answer 4

Sweetie, this is so heartbreaking. You can move on and find friends that make a new family. I can truly understand and I can tell you that these people are sick and if you are aware enough to know that they truly are incapable of caring for you, then you are well on your way to being alright. On another note, I can tell you from experience that there is gold in the worst c*ap we are handed in life. You may not see it now, but one day you will find some great stuff that comes from such horrific childhood experiences.

Good luck and may life bless and surround you with people that love you.

Answer 5

Take their treatment toward you as a life lesson. When you have a wife and children, know that this is not how you treat them. I wish I had better answers for you to be happy now, but one day you will know what true love is and how happy you can be. Don't keep letting them pull you down, do for you, not for them. Best wishes to you.

Answer 6

Start planning for the FUTURE and stop living with your past.
Leave the house ASAP, and use your money for YOU !
When you'll will find the right lady, you will surely make YOUR own happy family.
Good man. Never give up !

Answer 7

Look up the name of a counselor in the phone book. Make an appointment and take their advice

Answer 8

Stay there as long as you can. Find a job...any kind of job...show your independence. You can't make it on your own until you can make it on your own...use that fact that you have a place to stay to your advantange. Save money if you can and if not social services can help you.
You have a computer...use it while you can!

Answer 9

if you want to be happy, start your own family. i would ask my mom and my dad why they dont want me. i belive that no matter what your child does, they are gifts that God gives and should be treated as such. if you dont have your parents who do you have. move on and start you own family, show you mom and dad what a real parent is.

Answer 10

Family doesn't have to mean blood related. Surround yourself with people who love you and care about you and you will have a family. move on with your life and don't look back.