This married man that i had been dating with for like two years now finally got a divorce just to be with me, and me and him both love each other. Finally he had proposed to me, now we are getting ready to get married. My mom knew him when he was married, but she didnt liked da fact that i was with a married man, which was right, but he told me something was wrong with his ex-wife, he;s not happy with her, he even told me that he's kids was the reason why he was with her for ten years now, and finally divorced her to be with me. Now the problem is that my parents dont agree with me, they said that i shouldnt marry him because he might end up doing da same thing to me, i dont see dat happening because me and him are sooooo crazy over each other and we both love each other soooooooo much, so now two more days before the wedding and im still not sure if i should marry him or not, or just still date, or wat because my parents dont agree of him. Whos side should i take and what should I do?
2006-11-24 17:11:52 · 9 answers · asked by simplegurl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That is the trouble of dating a married man in the first place and how can you be sure that he divorced his wife to be with you. His wife might have gotten tired of his cheating ways and divorced him. This part about “something being wrong with his first wife and he is not happy with her” what does that mean, is she sick, crippled, or something? If so then he will lose interest in you if that happens to you and that will be when you need him the most. After all, the vows say in sickness and in health. They always say it is the kids for why they stay in the marriage but the kids are better off in a divorced home if it is a loveless marriage. Don’t you think that maybe his first wife and he were also sooooo crazy over each other and loved each other soooooooo much? That last sentence (your words) makes me think you are immature and should listen to your mom. She will love you forever and has your best interest at heart.↑
2006-11-24 17:15:21 · answer #1 · answered by # one 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You shouldn't be thinking about sides here. If you were absolutely sure that your making the right choice it probably wouldn't matter what your parents thought.You might be hurt but you wouldn't be considering not getting married.Your parents are probably right he probably will do the same thing to you but then again he may not. You should postpone the wedding not because of what your parents think but because you are so unsure.Get some premarital counseling Why did his first marriage go bad?How are you going to keep that from happening to you? Are you ready to be a step mom? What kind of time will his kids spend living with you?Are you comfortable with the fact that some of his income will go to child support and possibly even alimony?These are all important questions that need to be answered before the wedding.Once your sure tell your parents I'm sorry you cant be happy for me but this is my choice and I hope you love me enough to at least be respectful of my marriage.Don't expect them to accept it though, my mother has hated my husband since the day they met and we've been happily married for 5 years now. We didn't even start out under bad terms like you did.Its hard but you get used to it.Good luck.
2006-11-24 17:38:23 · answer #2 · answered by melissa f 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, first i think you should step back and take a look at both sides. Obviously this guy once had feelings for his ex, (similar to what you two have now) or else they wouldnt have married in the first place - right? Second, If he can cheat on her with you, then whats to say that he wont cheat on you with someone else, and soon there will be something wrong with you, and not "her"
I think you should listen to your parents. They are usually right most of the time.
Regardless, in the end it is your decision, but you are the one to say what happens, not anyone on Yahoo, and not your parents.
You are an adult, and capable of making your own choices, and you own mistakes. Sometimes the only way that we can learn is through our mistakes.
But; just make sure that your not jumping into things too fast.
If you have to question whether or not you want to marry him, based on someone else's thoughts, and you are not 100% sure that this is what you want. I think that deep down you think that there is something wrong with this relationship, and maybe its not exactly what you want. Maybe onetime it is what you wanted, but as the time has passed, you realize that its not all rainbows and butterflys.
You shouldnt have to question marriage. It should be there without a doubt. I suggest putting off the wedding until you are 100% sure for YOURSELF, and not anyone elses thoughts.
Time always tells.
2006-11-24 17:19:03 · answer #3 · answered by Kassie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just relax and enjoy the happiness you have felt when you accepted him to be your man. Each moment is precious before you get married and so leave all worries and prepare yourself for wedding. A man who has done a thing in past might do the same thing provided he is made to that again - so its in your hands how you can make your marriage live longer. But for now, do what you like most to do. Taking sides is not the question here but being yourself is THE THING!
2006-11-24 17:24:40 · answer #4 · answered by jk s 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I had a daughter in the same shoes you are in now, She married him after he got a divorce from his wife and they had children and now he is still married to my daughter and dating some other girl. My suggestion is that you date him for a while first. See what he's like after the divorce.Good luck in whatever you decide to do. Oh yea, shame on you for dating a married man. That goes to show you that neither of you take marriage very seriously. And remember that "mom & dad" know best. God bless you and good luck.
2006-11-24 17:27:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get on their good side by doing the following... 1. Follow their rules and raise your grades. 2. Don't do anything that would disgust or disappoint them. 3. Be honest. 4. Work hard to be the best you can be.. Good luck.
2016-03-16 08:03:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I'm in the same situation. You gotta admit, he will do it to you. It's just a question of when. The question is, do you love him enough to deal with it when it comes and forgive him? If not, don't marry him.
2006-11-24 17:14:36 · answer #7 · answered by littlechrismary 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we just don't want to listen to our parents, because their our parents but in this case, I would listen. He left his wife to be with you, why? Because of what you told him. You were wrong to date him while he was still married. Again, listen to your parents.
2006-11-24 17:16:54 · answer #8 · answered by danette e 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
whoever you think is right! I learned a long time ago that you can't please everyone. Sometimes your blood gets in the way, either accidentally or on purpose. In my case its on purpose but whatever you feel is right is who you should side with, no one can make up your mind for you.
2006-11-24 17:12:51 · answer #9 · answered by Thats It I'm Done 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think u shouldnt take any ones side. dont make a decision on what everyone is saying. make ur decision on what u really feel and think. give yourself some alone time to really think about what u want than go off ur decision. good luck
2006-11-24 17:23:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋