my dad's dying...should I go now or wait..?

Question

My dad's been ill from cancer for a while. Now he got worse and doctors say that it can be tomorrow, a week later, or a month later at most. I'm in the middle of my semester here swamped by tons of works to do. Should I go back home right now to be with him even though it's quite clear that there's nothing I can do and that I'm going to mess up with most of my classes? Or should I wait? I'm from korea so if I go now, that's going to be it. And I'm a grad student - I really can't afford a failed-semester.......
Even with these practical questiosn in my mind I think I already know the answer - I just want some assuring words that I'm doing the right thing
thanks for reading this. Writing it makes me feel a bit better. happy thanksgiving..

Answer 1

what is more important to you? your dad or school? I would say my dad but thats just me hes done so much for me the least i could do would be go see him before he died and offer my comfort.

Answer 2

If your father is still thinking clearly, I would have a very honest, loving discussion with him. There are several possible bad outcomes, one is that you travel for more than a day to get home only to find out that he is gone, and another is not to go, and then to find out that he really needed you by his side. I think that with the Internet and telephone service so easy to use, you could stay in touch with him - and with the rest of your family - making sure you all know how much you care about each other, and then hope that you will be able to see him during winter break. You do not want your father to feel abandoned, but you also do not want him to feel that he is responsible for you losing a semester or more. You have my sympathies and my best wishes.

Answer 3

Being that u're from Korea let's u off my hook. I was going to give u the whole guilt trip thing but in ur case I'm gonna give u the fatherly love thing. Ur father loves and raised u to be a good person and believe me u have to be to even ask for this kind of help. a selfish person wouldn't even care if their father passed or not. U on the other hand r probably one of the few in ur family whose been afforded this great opportunity in life to do something for ur self and ur entire family back home. Ur father would have wanted u to continue with ur studies as he will wait for u in the life here after. He sees u and is always with u and always will be with u no matter what. He would want u to finish ur studies return home and aid ur family with all u've learned. As a father I would want no less for my child. It is ur turn to live his is up. I'm sure he has had a great life and has a wonderful child like ur self. Feel no guilt about not going home. Call ur family and if he is able to talk, talk to him on the phone and tell him how much u love him and before he passes write him a letter telling him how proud u r to be his child and thank him for the wonderful work he did as a father. His blessings r and will always be upon u I guarantee it. Peace unto ur heart and blessings on u too.

Answer 4

Well first of all regardless of your relationship with your dad, you should go. if it was not for him, you would not have even been in existence. How would you feel if you were dying and your child didn't come to see you? You can always do another semester over but how many times will you be able to say bye to your dad fovever? I am not passing judegement on you but you really should go see your dad. And also, if he doesn't die when you visit him atleast you would have been able to see him for the last time. Cant you get some kind of medical document to prove to your school that you have a family emergency?

Answer 5

Thankfully, I saw my grandfather approximately one month before he passed, but I did not tell him the one thing that he already knew. I didn't tell him that I loved him and I really regret it. I don't think that it mattered that I was there or not...I just wish that I had vocalized those words one last time for him to hear. Call him and tell him how much you love him...one last time or as many times as you can. That will mean a lot. If he is like most parents I am sure that he is so proud of you and what you have accomplished. He wants the best for you, so stay at school and do what you have to do, just don't leave anything unsaid. God Bless.

Answer 6

im sorry to hear that... my dad had cancer too, but with gods grace, he beat it ( 7 tumors in his brain and one in his kidney.) it was so scary, and i never wanted to leave his side. i had already missed alot of school because i had skin cancer and three operations to remove it, and it was my senior year... i was so far behind in school, and i have always had for the most part strait A's. I got alot of my school work sent home with me so i could be with him, but i was still missing class and important things my teachers were telling us. he wanted me to go back... like you said, there is nothing you can do. it will be hard, but you need to think about your future too. tell him you love him and anything else that needs to be said. you will probably be a little sad that you werent there at the time when he does pass, but if you stay, you will still be hurt and even more behind in school, which will just cause more stress for you. no one will blame you for thinking about your future. his life is in gods hands and his will, will be done. i will keep you in my prayers. i know it doesnt help the hurt very much, but try to remember, that whne its over, he wont hurt anymore.. he will have a new begining in a much better place. you may lose him here on earth, but you will gain an angel in heaven who can be with you though it all!

Answer 7

If you don't go now to see your father it might be too late. A lot of schools are very understanding about family issues like your's. You don't want to think back on this & say ' I never got to see my dad for the last time'. That will really eat away at you. School is very important BUT family is more important.

Answer 8

Honestly you need to go now! If you don't you will look back and regret it. I left my Dad in the cancer hospital for a week to go home and take care of bills, etc. The morning I was on my way back he passed away before I got there. Even though I had been basically living at the hospital with him before that I still regret not getting back in time to say I Love You one more time. Please don't wait...go see your Dad now.

Answer 9

Go see your father! Once he has passed you never have another chance. You would regret not going for the rest of your life. School will be there when you get back. Check with your school they may have some program that will allow you to make up your work later. Good Luck!

Answer 10

first and fore most Happy thnksgiving...I'm really truely very sorry about your dad..Well I'm going to tell you like ppl told me: Family always comes first no matter what. You can go to skool anytime of your life but your dad is not goin to be there anytime of your life. Enjoy his company NOW! because once its gone youll never get it back like you will with a silly semester. good luck i hope you do what works for you!

Answer 11

you can go to school anytime, you only have one father what is it that you do not see? If you loved your father at all you would of already been there by his side.. He could die before you get there. With taking classes that could be done anytime.. Seeing your father one more time before he dies may not happen even if you really wanted to go... I could not live with myself if I was not there to be with my father during his last days or months... You are only thinking about yourself... And who knows maybe you will not even gulilty by not seeing your father or telling him face to face one last time that you love him because you wanted to stay in school... Hopefully if you ever have children they will not do this to you.